What it means to go it alone

Choosing to ‘do your own thing’ during divorce mediation may seem like the civilized thing to do, but it can be quite the opposite if you aren’t careful. When things start out, you may feel you’re in control and know your spouse better than anyone else, which is why you’re best qualified to handle the mediation. While that may be true, there are times when an objective third party helps. While a divorce mediation specialist is all that, they don’t have your interests as their only focus – they are equally invested in the outcome for your spouse. A divorce attorney on the other hand, has one goal – getting the best deal for you.

Negotiating muscle power

Divorce mediation requires a lot of back and forth between both parties, and sometimes contentious issues may reach a stalemate. A good divorce attorney may be more skilled at negotiating a better deal for you and getting the buy-in of your soon to be ex as well, a step critical to the mediation process which requires a ‘mutually agreeable’ outcome.

Why legal help matters

When a divorce lawyer comes on board during the mediation, quite often, they may uncover common issues that may have slipped through the cracks. having worked on hundreds of cases they are aware of potential problem areas that may not even have crossed your mind. Little issues that could flare up like details of what happens if one parent gets a new job or relocates to a different state in the future.  They can also offer insight on legal ramifications or possible outcomes, should a specific issue be taken to court.

A divorce lawyer is well trained in the area of documentation and paperwork related to divorce, as well as the intricacies of divorce law. Even of you and your spouse are able to talk your way to an acceptable solution, you may not have the legal expertise to create a document that holds in court. A legal expert will find the flaws or loopholes if any, and ensure the final agreement is watertight. A divorce mediation specialist can take you towards that solution and help you find that common ground, but ultimately, you will need to consult a lawyer to get things in order and to be done with your divorce as swiftly as possible.

Ideally, reach out to a reviewing or consulting divorce attorney with a background in mediation to be able to arrive at the most optimal solution that’s also valid and covers all bases.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Alternative to court trial

While there are some ways in which collaborative divorces and divorce mediation are starkly different, there are a few basics which remains the same in both cases. For one thing, they offer an alternative to a long drawn out and often expensive and messy battle in divorce court. Both offer a greater measure of control to you and your ex and don’t leave things to the discretion of a third party – the judge and your attorneys. However, there are some differences that could make one preferable over the other for you.

If the mediation or collaboration doesn’t work

In the event a divorce mediation doesn’t work out, you simply take your case to court to work it out before a judge. Your attorney presents your case and is already well-versed with the details so will be better equipped to represent you. However, if a collaborative divorce process falls through, your attorney is bound by a ‘no-court’ agreement. This is a document signed by you and your attorney and your spouse and theirs, stipulating that if the case heads to court, they must necessarily withdraw as your attorney. You will then both need to hire new lawyers who will want to do their own research ground up, resulting in some additional expenses and time.

Who’s involved?

In the case of a divorce mediation, an independent neutral third party is brought in to mediate. The operative being ‘neutral’. In other words, neither of your divorce attorneys can mediate. Instead, you and your spouse meet with the mediator (and attorneys when required), to work through your differences in a neutral environment. A mediator does not push you towards a settlement or agreement, but simply helps diffuse the situation and encourages conversation and conflict resolution so critical things like custody, alimony and division of assets can be worked out.

In the case of a collaborative divorce, both spouses and their respective divorce attorneys work together to arrive at a mutually acceptable solution through four-way meetings. The benefit here is you have legal counsel to support you throughout. It is a more effective and less expensive alternative to litigation but gives room for lawyers to negotiate and present arguments for you.

Confidentiality issues

In many states, the discussions during divorce mediation are protected by mediation confidentiality laws. Collaborative divorce discussion are typically not. You can however, overcome this hurdle by getting everyone to sign confidentiality agreements before you begin the collaborative process.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

“F” stands for Financial

The first thing to consider when deciding on which method of divorce suits you is the financial side of things. How much do you think the financial side is likely to cost you in each method? In a litigated divorce, there are a number of different costs involved, such as the cost of having to register the case, the cost of having to hire a lawyer, paying the costs of the lawyer when the divorce proceedings start etc. Good lawyers will typically take a considerable amount of your finances to hire and fight your case.

On the other hand, if you take a look at divorce mediation, the process is far cheaper. The only cost that you have to pay is the total cost of the mediation process in a lump sum amount which is to be shared amongst the two spouses and won’t only be your cost to bear.

“E” is for Emotions

This is one of the most important things to note. When a couple decides to get a divorce, the method that they choose will determine the level of and type of emotions that they experience. Litigation for example, is a method where the two spouses will have to fight with one another through their lawyers. This can cause emotions of hate and bitterness in the spouses.

On the other hand, in divorce mediation, the primary theme is cooperation and communication. Here, while there may be no love lost between the spouses, an emotion of mutual cooperation and respect will be developed.

“A” is for Analytical

In a litigated divorce, you have hired a lawyer and they are the ones that will ultimately make the strategy. Your role will be limited. In divorce mediation, on the other hand, you are your own spokesman, negotiator and decision maker. This means that you are free to make decisions, analyze the situation and act according to your wishes.

“R” is for Rational

Having looked at all of the factors mentioned above, the ability to make a rational decision as to which method you are going to opt for, will determine the course of your future. On the face of it, for a speedy, easy and empowered divorce, Orange County divorce mediation is the best way.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

“L” is for Listening

When couples fight and argue, they can shout, belt out words, sentences and phrases at the top of their voices. This means that while both the spouses are shouting their lungs out, neither is being heard. All their screams, threats, and reasoning are falling onto deaf ears. This is where the Orange County divorce mediator comes in.

As you come for mediation, the mediator will make you feel heard. They listen to your fears, your aspirations and what you would want the resolution to look like. This helps calm the spouses down for a meaningful discussion.

“O” is to Observe

No matter how long you and your spouse have been married for, the time you have spent with one another is more than the time the divorce mediator has spent with either of you. For them to help you in this case, they will need to make use of their powers of observation. Observing how the spouses act is an important tool of the mediators, which helps them learn the dynamics of the relationship between the two spouses.

“V “is to Validate/Verify

There are times when couples ride on the merry go round of accusations against one another. This can damage the spirit of mediation and the spouses that they have been made against. Hence, it is the job of the divorce mediator to listen closely to what has been said and make sure the accusations are repeated to the spouse that made them and their validity verified. Typically, spouses that make accusations in rage can realize their mistake when they are mellow and retract their statement. This can heal the wounds of the other spouse.

“E” is for Emotional Healing

When people end a long-standing relationship, no matter the hurt and anger they have for the other spouse, there is bound to be some regret and underlying feelings of guilt. In such a bad emotional state, for the spouse to be able to play a meaningful part in an Orange County divorce mediation, the mediator needs to help them along the way to move beyond and try to heal those emotions.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Divorce Mediation

During divorce mediation, a neutral third party who is a mediation expert is called upon to work with the couple and their attorneys. He/she guides the pair towards an agreement and has the final divorce settlement agreement signed off. This makes things a lot less sticky for you and your spouse as things are handled without much mud slinging – vital if you foresee having to interact with your spouse in future as well, especially if you have kids together. The process is discreet and isn’t as expensive as going to trial. You also have a say in the final agreement, unlike when the court decides based on the presented evidence in a divorce trial. Just have your divorce attorney go over it with a fine toothed comb to make sure it is drafted properly and is watertight as far as the law is concerned.

Collaborative Divorce

In a collaborative divorce, both husband and wife must sign agreements with attorneys, that also mentions that the attorneys must withdraw and new attorneys must be signed on if the litigation is jeopardized in any manner or a settlement is not reached. You will have discussions with your attorney, your spouse with theirs, and then you will meet with them and your spouse together. The idea is to arrive at a final agreement/settlement with the aid of your divorce attorneys. If a financial expert is needed, a divorce financial planner is called upon. When a final agreement is mutually agreed on, you are typically required to go before a judge in court where he/she will sign off, making the agreement legally binding. Not unlike mediation, disclosures are purely voluntary, so a spouse may try and conceal assets.

Divorce Litigation

Divorce litigation is not as unusual as the name might indicate. In fact, this is becoming the norm for most divorcing couples today. The bulk of such divorces are settled out of court without actually going to trial, so don’t be scared off by the word litigation. You will, as in the case of divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce, require the services of a divorce attorney. This is a safe route if you suspect your spouse of concealing assets, being domineering, or if you have been the victim of domestic violence or abuse. And that’s because there is a legal mechanism which your attorney will exercise to make it mandatory for your spouse to respond to specific lists, disclose assets and share information. It also allows you to make a case for yourself and with the help of an experienced divorce attorney who is skilled at negotiations, get a fair deal.

Going It Alone

Divorce is an alienating experience on its own, without adding the pressure of managing the paperwork and legal side of things by yourself. When it comes to things close to your heart, deciding the fate of things that were once part of your shared life, emotions can run high. The calm, balanced perspective of a third party – your divorce attorney can bring a measure of structure to things.

In addition, should you find yourself embroiled in heavy arguments and if you are unable to come to a mutually agreeable plan with your now estranged spouse, a divorce attorney who is well versed with divorce mediation and trial proceedings can help swing things your way. More than anything else, knowing you have a shoulder to lean on, and someone with the right legal expertise by your side, you will sleep easier.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

The decision about the method to choose and which one to ditch will typically depend on a number of different factors; one of which is the cost of the process. The fact that divorce mediation is cheaper than its litigated counterpart is a well publicized fact. But do you know what really makes up the costs of divorce mediation?

What Does the Cost of Mediation Depend on?

You’ll be surprised to know that the hourly rate of a divorce mediator only makes up a portion of this. Then what really makes up the cost of divorce mediation if not the hourly rate of the mediator alone? The list is as follows:

• The experience, skill level and the competence level of the mediator
• The thoroughness of the service provided

The experience, skill level and the competence level of the mediator

There are a number of divorce mediators available in each county.  While some of them are qualified and learned in the art of mediation others are almost laymen at the work and may not be able to give you the best service. Such people who lack in expertise and knowledge may try and make up for it in cheaper rates. Hence the type of expertise, skill and competence of the mediator will typically dictate the rate that they charge and affect the overall cost of mediation.

The thoroughness of the Service Provided

The depth of the service provided by the divorce mediator will truly dictate the expenses. Sometimes all a mediator will do is preside over the mediation and do nothing. They will let the spouse argue, quarrel, settle the case and fight against one another as long as they are able to get their payments on time. This is typically a dangerous approach. If you want a thorough divorce mediation it might cost you more than usual.

The factors mentioned above are some of the things that have an effect on the cost of Orange County divorce mediation. Mediation is important to ensure that you not only get a low cost divorce but as much as that, you are able to have a peaceful end to your divorce. Getting divorced is often the hardest decision you will make in your life, hence it is important that you ensure that you choose the right method.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Unlike litigation where spouses are accompanied by their team of high powered lawyers who battle it out in court, using all kinds of tactics against the other spouse. In mediation, the two spouses have to negotiate with one another.

Here is a list of few steps in negotiation that lead to a conflict-free divorce mediation.

Laying Down the Issues

The best way to go about Orange County divorce mediation is laying down the issues first and foremost before your emotions take over. Defining and outlining the issues in front of your spouse will give you both a clear demarcation of subjects that you will have to talk about. At this stage if there are other issues that need to be addressed, your spouse will add them to the discussion to make sure you know exactly what the negotiations will base around.

Identifying concerns and underlying interests

Once you have laid down what has to be discussed, the next step is to find out what is important for each of the spouse. Typically in an Orange County divorce mediation one of the spouse can want the custody of the child while the other may have an inclination towards the monetary side of things. This will make sure that the two parties know which topic needs to be touched briefly and which one needs to be discussed deeply to allay the concerns of the other party.

Developing Options that will help Address the Solution

Both the spouses will typically have designs on how they want the issues to be resolved. You need to put your solutions to the problems forwards and ask the other party to do the same. This will make sure that a number of ideas are put on table instead of one.

Bringing the Options together for a resolution

Once the options for the resolution have been laid down, the emphasis is then on the making sure that these options are chopped and changed. Deliberated upon and accepted for a final resolution. This phase of the negotiation will involve bargaining between the two spouses when both the spouse will need to give the other spouse something in return for what they want. For example if you want the custody of the child in the holiday season, you may have to give up the right of taking him with you on the weekends, etc.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

How should you get a divorce after your short term marriage? The answer to the question can be given in a number of different ways. You could either go for divorce mediation or a litigated divorce. Both of these methods are completely different to one another and the method you choose will dictate the way you live life in your future as well as relations you have with your kids and your ex spouse.

Litigated Divorce

A litigated divorce which is dictated by the family law court is one of the most common way couples have opted to end their marriages. These cases are typically heard by the judge and the two spouses are each represented in the court by their counsels who will look to make sure that they leave no stone unturned to demean the other spouse and give advantage to their client.

However these divorces despite being the typical way that people have divorced over the years have started to face a number of administrative issues which has meant that they are unable to handle the bulk of cases causing undue delays, etc.

Divorce Mediation

Typically this is one area that has continued to increase in popularity as litigation starts to lose the confidence of the people. Orange County divorce mediation is one of the easiest ways to get divorced. Here, unlike litigation, the decision-making authority is in the hands of the spouses.  In a mediated divorce, the two spouses are asked to sit together and talk with one another to ensure that the they are able to agree on resolutions to their divorce.

When you have had a short term marriage, it can almost be equated with a breakup. For people that have gone through long marriages, marriage may have become part of their life. The people going through a short term marriage are luckier in way that they might not have become as entrenched in their married life. Irrespective of the fact that they have been in a short or a long term marriage, having healthy relations with your spouse and your kids even after you have had an Orange County divorce. For that to happen you will need to go through a peaceful divorce settlement, free from bitterness, and that means divorce mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

In mediation, there are three parties involved in the discussions. One if the mediator and the other two are the spouses themselves. The job of the mediator is to simply preside over the matter and make sure that the discussion goes in a healthy, amicable and peaceful environment.

Bargaining

The essence of divorce mediation is to make sure that spouses are able to reach a mutually conclusive agreement between the two that both parties agree on. While you and your spouse may have lived together, once you decide to part ways the design of each spouse on their respective futures can be different. Most of these plans will need to be agreed upon in mediation in terms of child custody, division of asset, child and spousal support payments etc.

These are all matters that can lead to a deadlock, in such a situation you need to be able to master the art of bargaining. Bargaining means taking something by giving the other party something else that he or she wants. The most important distinction you need to make when you are negotiating with your spouse is whether it’s strictly business or whether the two parties still have some feelings of appreciation for one another.

Bargaining for Your Benefit

When you are bargaining the most important thing to do is to establish your initial position. You need to make sure whatever initial offer you make has room for you to concede through the process of bargaining. The initial offer that you make is often assumed to be the least that you will accept at the start of discussion.

Ideally, the key to bargaining is going into divorce mediation knowing exactly what is a must for you to have and then making sure you use the other resources and offers trying to accept that is achieved.

What you Should and Should Not Do in Bargaining

• You need to be willing to compromise and be flexible.
• Whatever offer you make, make sure they are reasonable and you explain the reasoning to your spouse.
• Always stay calm, things may get heated, but a level head will make sure you get your targets
• You should make it clear that you are not hesitant to walk away from the bargaining if it gets one sided.
• Don’t intimidate the other spouse and don’t be intimidated by them either.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

A recent online survey of divorcing couples by divorce preparation website completecase.com shows that Vermont tops the list for easy, amicable divorces in the United States. Divorce in California was found to be pleasantly cordial, where couples part ways with minimal hostility.

Communication and cooperation are essential for an amicable divorce. A skilled mediator can get the divorcing parties in the right mindset to arrive at a friendly resolution. Divorce is never easy, but the more prepared you are, the more productive your mediation will be.

Getting organized before mediation can help spare time, money and stress. Important items to bring to the first session are a list of assets, properties, bank account balances, retirement funds and other financial documents. Information about debts and loans, as well as records about income sources should also feature in the list.  Drafting a budget is also a key step as it will shed light on your current financial picture and what finances will look like post-divorce. The budget should be realistic and based on concrete expenses. It should incorporate expenses such as mortgage payments, car payments, child care costs and health insurance. Bring the list with you to mediation.

Come to a mediation session prepared to negotiate rather than argue. Arguing can be counterproductive to the forward-looking process of mediation. The key to an effective mediation session is both spouses figuring out their range of acceptable terms and priorities.  After establishing your specific concerns either verbally or through writing, you can work with the mediator to accomplish your goals. Consider decisions regarding the future needs and care of your children, such as child custody and co-parenting.

Although divorce can be a stressful process, keeping emotions under control will be beneficial to mediation. Remember to stay flexible during the mediation process. You may be surprised by how often what you thought you wanted early on changes over time.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

On the other hand though, they are aware that a better outcome to their divorce is available they agree in a a divorce mediation as opposed to fighting a case in litigation.  For such people the value of communication in mediation is beyond belief. Here are a few tips to help people communicate effectively in mediation.

Take the Mediator’s help

A divorce mediator in Orange County or elsewhere has an important role to play in a mediated divorce. While the decision and the discussions are done between the spouses, the role of a mediator is to channel their discussion into something constructive. If a spouse has issues with their communication abilities they have go up to the mediators and tell them their fears.

A mediator will typically tell the spouses that a mediation is not a litigation case, you don’t need to be very good a communicator, you only need to get the core of your message across to the other party. Once you do that, the decision is to be taken by the two spouses in combination and hence unless the weak communicating spouse is not happy with the solution, all they need to say is a “NO”.

Rise Above the Fear and the Worry

Going through a divorce is a stressful time nonetheless and in between such stress, one of the spouse may go overboard with his to her comments. The key for you is to not react and stand on your stance steadfast. The trick to communication is looking beyond the threats of the other spouse and looking at the fear behind their statements. Unless you are very good at communication, retorting back to such comments will lead the argument nowhere.

Get Strategic

When you are communicating you need to be strategic with your communications, looking to achieve some goals each time you speak.

• Determine ways that you can use to get your point clearly across to the other person.
• Be clear on what reaction you want out of the other person having said a certain word or a phrase.
• The key to negotiation is give and take, identify what he wants the most and exchange it for what you want the most.
• If you don’t like the offer reply back with an uncompromising No.
• If the opposing party responds with a No, give them a little time to let your offer set in and then ask them again.

Communication is an important part of Orange County divorce mediation, but the most important part is your viewpoint. As long as you are clear on that you will be able to protect your interests in mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

For couples that are looking to avoid the public glare, the bitterness and feud mentality of litigation proceedings, Orange County divorce mediation seems the best bet. Yet even with this process the real challenge is finding the correct time to build a bridge over the distance, disillusionment and hurt to help both spouses reach each other for a solution. Divorce is almost always a major loss, resulting in the spouses undergoing various stages of conflict and grief.

What is the Best Time for Divorce Mediation?

In reality there is no best time for divorce mediation. Divorce is not a word that can associated with a positive unless in situations where one of the spouses has been subjected to abuse.  An Orange County divorce will always pain the two spouses, derive that sense of hurt and failure in them and so there is no best time for divorce. Yes, there might be an optimum time for spouses to bring up mediation, where both of them can make the most of the process and reach a low conflict solution.

For couples that are still functioning with one another for example, the question of a best time will never really come up. If you and your spouse have decided to mutually part ways, and continue to remain friends, you can undergo and Orange County divorce mediation anytime you want.

For couples who come to Orange County Divorce mediation to escape the hurt of court proceedings, optimum times for may vary. In such cases usually one of the spouses is looking for divorce while the other is reluctantly accepting it. These kinds of spouses are ones that will likely experience the most hurt and pain of the relationship ending. For such spouses, the optimum time to go through an Orange County divorce mediation is when the spouses have started to accept the notion of having to part ways.

Once they start to accept that partying of ways is now more than a thought, they will be able to reform their emotions and rally their mind to an acceptance. In such a case, the spouses will mellow down their emotions and be willing to negotiate and have an amicable solution. This is when Orange County divorce mediation will work best for them.

Orange County divorce mediation is a process that involves cordiality between the two spouses. It can only be worthwhile at a time when both of the spouses have accepted the fate of the relation and as a result are looking for less hurting solution.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

A host of families that are breaking up have no complex issues to discuss and are usually straight forward cases of spousal incompatibility and asset division. Such cases should never end up in the Orange County family law court. Spouses should look to get their divorce alternative solutions to litigation that can save their children from the hate and bitterness of court proceedings.

What can it lead to in kids?

There can be a variety of things that can happen to a kid that goes though Orange County divorce mediation. It can lead to:

• Personality changes
• Gradual withdrawal from society and friends
• Psychological issues such as depression etc.
• Grades dropping

Over the long term, children from broken families that have gone through divorce litigation seem to be susceptible to failing relationship and divorces themselves.

A positive influence on kids

Orange County divorce mediation is process that stand in start opposition to litigation. Mediation allows the spouses to settle their disputes in an environment of harmony and cooperation. It is all about making sure that the two spouses sit down and converse and deliberate the issues at hand for them and end up reaching a logical, long lasting, acceptable solution.

For children that go through an Orange County divorce mediation, it is likely to have a positive impact on their lives. Since mediation is all about cooperation, seeing their parents go through mediation, would help the children avoid unneeded psychological and emotional damage.

Mediation is all about working with each other to produce a result that is mutually acceptable and beneficial for both spouses. This helps the parents keep cordial relations with one another and to keep on friendly if not amicable terms with each other. This will have positive impact on the children since they would be able to understand that while their parents are separating because its best for both of them. Neither hates the other and both will always be there united for the love, care and sake of their children.

Going through Orange County divorce mediation is a better bet to keep your children from getting affected by divorce. You should remember that children are your most valuable assets and you need to make sure that they are safe physically and emotionally from hurt and torment. Mediation helps them escape the torment.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

This is why a large number of people are turning to Orange County divorce mediation. Mediation is a different process to court led divorce and can give spouses more freedom to exercise their will. While mediation is a good option for divorcing parties, there are some factors to consider before deciding on its appropriateness for you.

To help you decide if you are tailor-made for Orange County divorce mediation or not, here is the list of a few questions that you need to ask yourself. This test can be used by either of the spouse and needs no additional members. Make sure that the answers to the question are genuine and under no stress or pressure whatsoever. If that is the case, the validity of the test might be affected.

Questions to Test Readiness for Mediation

• Are you ready to get divorced?
• Are you not willing to reconcile or talk things out once again with your fellow spouse?
• Do you oppose going to court and instead are willing to go to an Orange County mediator to sort your divorce issues out?
• Are looking to have reasonable, amicable, and courteous relations with your spouse?
• Do you think retribution, hatred, and blame games need to be ended and a fair agreement reached between the two parties?
• Are you able to trust your spouse? Will you be able to agree to their version of events (not entirely though) and their declaration of assets etc?
• Can you stand up against your spouse for you own rights and not be intimidated by them?
• Can you disagree with your spouse without having to react remorsefully in the latter half of your life?
• Do you think your spouse has the same level of respect and admiration for you like you have for them?
• Do you expect your spouse to be fair in their dealings?
• Are you sound mentally and physically?
• Are you able to communicate your needs and wants and your viewpoints clearly enough to the other party?
• Are you confident your relation did not have traces of physical abuse or violence?
• Are you confident your relation did not have traces of substance abuse or drug abuse?
• Can you trust the parenting skills of your spouse?
• Do you love your children and would like to keep them away from the infighting between their parents?

If the answers to all of the questions are a yes, you are a good candidate for Orange County divorce mediation. The last 5 questions are important, any no with regards to lack of trust, physical or drug abuse can make the mediation process a waste of time.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

High conflict personalities can be extremely challenging to deal with when it comes to divorce in general and Orange County divorce mediation in particular. This piece is covered in two blogs with some tips covered in this blog, while the other covered in an upcoming blog.

Before highlighting a few tips to help you deal with high conflict personalities through your Orange County divorce mediation. We need to take a look at the characteristics that define a High conflict spouse.

Characteristics of High Conflict Personality Spouses

The four primary characteristics they have are:

• An approach to have everything for want nothing
• Stick religiously to blaming others for any and every fault in their life.
• Inappropriate and at times extreme behavior that is often unexplainable.
• Lack of emotional management, which leads to exaggerated, unmanaged emotions.

Other characteristics of such personalities can be:

• Being self centered
• Lack of foresight between their actions and its repercussions
• Manipulation of situation to fit into their own version of events
• Cognitive distortions
• A tendency to get into interpersonal conflicts
• Being Unreasonable
• Like to view themselves as victims in any conflict
• Have a troubled past
• Can make minor problems into major ones at will

Tips to Mediate with Such Personalities

Once the characteristics of the high conflict personality are clear, let’s take a look at a few trips to deal with such spouses in Orange County mediation.

• At the start of the mediation process, be clear and confident about the fact that the other spouse is not in charge.
• In mediation you are usually required to make opening statements. Instead of this, give the high conflict personality spouse the chance to speak about what they are willing to achieve from this process. What do they think is the best proposal for both the spouses?
• Don’t expect your spouse to identify your interest and needs. HCP spouses are bad at thinking out of the box and are too self-centered to care about you. You need to be clear with each of your want and need from the outset, showing your tenacity to get what you want.
• High conflict spouses usually go into any form of discussion with simply one solution in mind. The best way to deal with that is to present their solution as a proposal and highlight how this proposal is what will ultimately lead to a solution.
• Orange County divorce mediation is all about courteousness and respect. You need to treat your spouse with respect, give them respect, and understand their viewpoints. Show them you are willing to listen to their points.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The laws are complex and hence spouses are dependent on divorce lawyers to win them their case. The question of how the courts have been helping the middle class spouse with low incomes in their divorce cases is a pertinent one that has no real answers.  The state budget cuts in California, for example, have meant their ability is far more limited with too many cases and not enough judicial officers.

The Affordable Divorce Solution

For spouses that are middle to low income and make up the growing American middle class, Orange County divorce mediation is a cheap and affordable alternative to courts. Mediation allows you to cut across the complexities of a family court, their case laws and statutes.

The use of mediation makes sense has far as middle class families are concerned. It will allow the spouses to be able to debate and dissect each and every issue they would have talked about in court. There is a misconception that mediation calls for people to lay down their rights as they walk into the mediation office. This is a misconception and in reality it is quite the opposite. Once you decide to pursue divorce mediation you will be able to exercise authority in terms of proceeding speed, pace and schedule of the mediation.

An Example of How Mediation can Work for Middle Class Couples

In this example both of the spouses are working and have two children. The annual earnings of the household amount to $80,000.  Out of this the husband’s share is $50,000 and the wife’s share is $30000. They jointly own a house, the house has very little equity but neither of the spouses is particularly attached to it. In addition to this, both own a car each and have 401(K) that totals $50,000 and $8000.

If these spouses hired layers to litigate their case in courts, they could potentially have to pay their lawyers somewhere in the region of $20,000-$30,000+.  Does that make sense? Not really. These expenses at the end of the day would probably leave both of the couples in debt.

If they were to go for Orange County divorce mediation instead, the total average cost would be $3,000-$5,000 depending on the complexity of the issues for the mediation proceedings and as soon as the couples reach an agreement between themselves the mediation would be over.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Here is a low down on a few frequently asked mediation questions and the answers to these questions.

My Spouse Is High On Emotion, Can Mediation Aid In Such A Situation?

This is one of the most commonly asked questions by people who want to be a part of the mediation process. The answer to this question is a big yes.

Orange County mediators understand that when couples decide to divorce and part ways, there can be streams of emotions and bitterness. The job of the mediator in such cases is to work closely with both the spouses and make sure that they show them how setting aside their emotions will help them in the long run. They will highlight how making the right decision will need them to bank on their rationale instead of banking on your emotions and ending up making an error of judgment.

What Is The Expected Time An Orientation Process Will Take?

The Orientation process is basically the first session of mediation where the spouses will each try and present their positions in front of the mediator. They will try and make sure that they have outlined their positions before they can start to discuss a settlement with their spouses. Typically, an orientation process will last for around 3 to 4 hours.

However, it must be noted that the amount of time taken in the orientation process will depend on particular cases and there is no set time schedule for it.

Do I Have To Stay In The Same Room As My Spouse During Mediation?

The answer to that question is yes. Orange County divorce mediation is a process that rests wholly and solely on the cooperation between the spouses. Hence, it is integral that the two spouses are in the same room throughout the mediation to make the mediation process smoother. If you think neither you nor your spouse can sit in the same room together, mediation might just not be your cup of tea.

Can I And My Spouse Settle The Case At The Orientation?

The answer to that question is again a Yes. Orientation hearing is just like any other hearing in mediation, and if your divorce case is simple and both of the spouses are able to agree on the settlement, the mediation can be settled in the orientation stage as well.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The Problem with Divorce

Owing to the affinity that people hold with their belongings and their children, divorce can often be one of the hardest decisions to make and stick to. While most spouses are looking to get rid of their spouses, they are reluctant to be exposed to the glare of the general public in the Orange County family law courts. This has been one of the leading reasons that while traditional Orange County divorce continues to be the main means of obtaining a divorce through the courts, there has been a change in the methods of getting divorced.

Alternatives on the Horizon

Increasingly, people are now looking towards alternative dispute resolution methods such as Orange County divorce mediation to make sure that their privacy is maintained. Divorce mediation as a process holds its roots in the concept of alternative dispute resolution that looks to lessen the workload on the courts and allows them to focus on more troubling cases where mediation is not a viable option.

Divorce Mediation

Orange County divorce mediation is a process that is designed to make sure that both of the spouses continue to keep cordial relations with each other. Spouses are allowed to hold their fates in their own hands during mediation, with any agreement at the end of the mediation process requiring both of the spouses to mutually agree on its contents.

This has also been one of the leading reasons that spouses have started to turn to mediation instead of litigation. Since it can offer them a greater level of privacy as well as control over their fate, which otherwise would have rested in the hands of the family court judge.

Effective Legal Separation

Orange County mediation has often been referred to as a method of divorce that is meant to be only applicable and not necessarily legally binding. This means that the prevailing perception is that Orange County divorce mediation is not a proper form of legal separation. This however is far from the truth. Simply put, the courts in California have moved to make sure that mediation continues to lessen their workload. They have through their judgments made sure that Orange County mediation agreements are legally binding and enforceable through courts.

This has meant that couples can now mutually and amicably decide on their fates after divorce and handle personal issues such as child custody, asset distribution and support payments out of the public glare.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The Changes to the Family in Modern Times

The scale of changes has meant that divorce laws have started to be questioned by recent developments. A few of these notable changes can be:

• A generation or so ago, women having full time jobs was not as common as it is today. Now they are working outside of their houses, with many households having not one but two incomes.
• A few years ago, there were only a few states in the US, one of which was California, which had legalized same sex marriages. Yet, now with the recent decision of the Supreme Court making it legal throughout the US, the family laws such as those of divorce seem incompatible.

Incompatibility of the Law

These changes mean that the scope of the modern family has changed drastically. The California divorce and family laws for example are not meant to handle the complex issues that are arising as a result of these changes.

How do you determine the custody of the child between two same sex parents only one of whom is biologically related to the child? While the child may view both of them as parents, legally only one of them is the real parent owing to biological relations.

In addition, in homes where there are two sources of income one from each spouse, property division can be a serious issue, because neither party would want to settle for a smaller share or a share they don’t feel is proportionate to their contributions.

Mediating the Solution

Instead of using the courts to solve disputes, if we turn to Orange County divorce mediation, the needs of the modern family can be catered to, with decisions made based around common sense, mutual wisdom, and the needs of the family.

If both of the spouses can talk it out and make sure they understand each other’s point of views, Orange County divorce mediation gives them the chance to make a legally binding decision as they see fit, irrespective of its compatibility with the law. This, however, will only be applicable as long as both the spouses are mutually agreeing on the provisions of the agreement.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

A New Solution

Irrespective of the type of the case, the Orange County family law court have become the center of all things divorce over the past few decades. The rising number of cases, and the delays in proceedings etc, has meant that people are now looking for easier avenues to settle their divorces in. The search for these easier avenues has meant that newer divorce procedures are being adopted that are both legally compatible and significantly different to court proceedings in their functioning.

Over the years around the world with the rising number of cases and disputes pending in courts, methods of alternative dispute resolutions were developed to cope. These methods of alternative dispute resolutions much like the name suggest are methods of resolutions that do not involve the courts in the process in any which way (except for implementation).

Alternative dispute resolution, much like its use in other areas of law, has increasingly started to be used in the Orange County divorce cases. Before we look at that though, here is a list of few methods of alternative dispute resolution that have been readily used.

Methods Of Alternative Dispute Resolution

Some common dispute resolution methods are:

• Collaborative divorce
• Mediation

All these methods of alternative dispute resolutions have and are playing their part to try and lessen the burden on the courts with respect to legal disputes. Among these methods, mediation is the method that is best suited for resolution of cases of divorce.

Divorce Mediation

Orange County divorce mediation is starting to gain a foothold in the avenues of divorce in California. Mediation is a branch of the alternative dispute resolution tree but is significantly different and more cost-effective than collaborative divorce.

Divorce mediation, despite being tasked with trying to lessen the workload of family law courts, is starkly different in procedure and style to courts. Mediation as a process is more about empowerment and freedom to the spouses to be able to reach a conclusion themselves. The role of the Orange County divorce mediator is to facilitate the couples and make sure they are on the right track in terms of their discussions. Unlike the courts which have to decide cases, the mediator is more than happy to take a back seat and let the couples decide their fate on their own.

One of the advantages of using mediation is that any decision taken can be implemented to in courts if there are issues developing later on with the mutually accepted decision.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

In Orange County divorce mediation cases, however, couples can agree on scenarios that allow one of the spouses to want possession of the marital home while the other wants his/ her name off the mortgage.  While this sounds simple in practice, it can actually be quite difficult to achieve. Here is a list of a few. In such cases, spouses have only two legal options to bring their decision into affect. One is refinance and the other is to sell the house and keep whatever cash it is sold for.

Why Is Refinancing Of A Mortgage A Difficult Option?

Of the two ways mentioned above, refinance is the only one that allows you to stay in control of and in possession of your home. Yet, before you proceed with divorce mediation, you need to consider problems that can arise in refinancing. The mortgage of homes tends to be more than the government backed loan refinance schemes. This would mean that when and if you opt to refinance your income will closely be scrutinized.

There are strict criterions that you’ll need to fulfill to be applicable to have a refinance of your mortgage. A look at the federal finance rules highlights that only people who have a personal debt ratio of less than 43% on their income are able to refinance their loans and get new loans. Therefore, the banks or the lenders will take into account your debt repayment ability and other payments that you are making because of your Orange County divorce like alimony and child support payments.

How Can You Make The Process Easier?

The first step to easing this process off is to know what the problems are. Since you know that during and before you have taken part in your Orange County divorce mediation means you are already on the right track.

The key to making sure you stray well clear of such things is to first of all make sure that every transaction you make is credit approved and done correctly.  Also make sure that any and all suggestions given and decisions taken in Orange County divorce mediation are discussed with a financial expert.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

While the above paragraph outlines a rosy picture that can be achieved with the two spouses working together, in reality there are limits that each of the spouses should create and adhere to after a divorce to avoid hurting the other party or having negative effect on their child’s well being. Here is a list of a few steps that you can use to set boundaries with your spouse.

Talk About Less Things

Irrespective of the way of divorce you have chosen, whether it is through Orange County divorce mediation or through divorce litigation, there is bound to be some bitterness between the two spouses. This bitterness tends to come to the fore when former spouses are going to talk about sensitive issues. Therefore, it is best that you decide with your spouse on only having to communicate on a few topics preferably the ones that concern the welfare and health of the child.

Exhibit Mutual Respect

While the mutual admiration between the two spouses is unlikely to exist after a divorce, they should both work to make sure there continues to be mutual respect. Mutual respect is usually lost in long fought divorce cases in courts. If you have used Orange County divorce mediation, there is sure to be some sort of mutual respect between the two spouses. Make sure that this mutual respect is maintained at all times in conversations, and limit your emotions from coming into play.

Keep Your Most Valuable Assets (The Kids) Away from the Drama

This is one of the most important steps to follow, since it not only involves the well being of you and your former spouse but most importantly the well being of your kids. Never use the kids as messengers to send messages to the other spouse. Children should be kept as far away from their parent’s unhealthy relationship as possible. One of the most important things in this regards is also to make sure you refrain from abusing, criticizing, or negatively portraying the other spouses.

This is because although your divorce may have hurt you, to the kids that person remains his /her parent.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

• Financial uncertainty
• The thought of being alone
• Thoughts of having failed
• The future of the children
• The perception in society

Irrespective of these reasons, what is important for a person going through mediation is to manage this stress. This will be the key to the level of success in your Orange County divorce mediation. Here are some tips to manage your stress:

·         Give Yourself Some Time

Do you continue to have fond memories of your teens and your childhood? If that’s the case, you’ll know that one of the reasons for that is the level of enjoyment you had back then. What you must realize now is that enjoyment was because you did things that you wanted to, that you liked to. When you are faced with the problem of stress, this is what you need to do. You need to make sure you give yourself the utmost importance. Go out and try things that you have wanted to, and do things you like.

We realize that you may be feeling stressed and under pressure, but much like a pressure cooker, you should remove the cog and let the pressure out. Read a book that you like, watch a movie, or go dancing. When you feel stressed, that is the time you need to take care of yourself the most, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

·         Don’t Forget to Breathe

Sometimes we are so occupied with our stress, anxiety, and pressure that we forget to breathe. Breathe here is not literal but figurative. When you are under immense pressure, that is when you need to pull out all the stocks and keep yourself calm and collected. Try to stay at ease, and breathe deeply for 5 minutes a day, as it has been medically proven to lessen the level of anxiety in a person.

·         Look at the End of the Tunnel

Negotiating a divorce can be hard, even a peaceful and cooperative one such as Orange County divorce mediation. Yet, the best way to do that is to stay focused at the end product – the light at the end of the tunnel. As long as you are able to keep your focus on the future, you will be able to keep your stress levels down.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

If you want to preserve your financial security and are looking for a more secure future monetarily, divorce mediation is the best place for you. The first thing you achieve the instant you choose mediation is a significant cut back on the fees you’d have to pay in litigations. Having said that however, there is very little mediation can do without the spouses managing their expectations to meet the resources available.

Here are a few tips to help you manage your expectations in Orange County divorce mediation:

Understand The Concept Of Separate Property

Any property that you received from inheritance, or had before you came into marriage will be your community property. This is exactly the same for your spouse. Now that this is clear, the first step to expectation management is think about your life on a timeline. If the property and assets belong to the pre marriage stage on our timeline, they are going to be considered community property and barring some exceptions will be completely yours.

If the assets and properties came under your ownership during your marriage, they will be considered joint property. This is the property that is divided up in between the two spouses. Once you are able to understand what is yours and what will be divided 50/50, you are likely to have more realistic expectations.

Take A Look At Your Finances

There are a host of cases that we face where one of the spouses is completely oblivious to information regarding their finances, and the other spouse’s earnings and assets. In cases like this, most spouses seem to assume that there is a large amount of money and assets to be divided where in reality that is not the case. This is an important aspect in Orange County divorce mediation, since lack of knowledge will handicap you in the negotiation processes.

To make sure no spouse is left under false impressions, both the spouses need to fill in financial declaration forms to make the picture clearer and expectations realistic.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Yet, for anyone who is going through divorce for the very first time, there is very little that is known to them. Going into divorce for the very first time for couples is like trying to cross a dark tunnel. Most people who have never had to go through the ordeal of divorce tend to think there is likely to be a normal way of doing a divorce. This, however, is never the case. Each case is different to the other no matter how much the similarities in the facts may be. The emotions of the spouses and their thought processes are what distinguish each mediation from the other. Therefore, it is important to understand that while the use of the process of mediation has started to make it the normal way to get divorced, there is no set way mediation cases are carried out.

This concept of providing different solutions to different cases and dealing with each in a unique approach is known as adopting a customized approach. Divorce mediation is a process that is designed to make divorce easy for the spouses. It is in lieu of this that most of the cases are dealt with on their own merit by divorce mediators in Orange County and elsewhere. The goal of the mediators at the end of the day is to make sure that both the parties that are participating in the mediation process are able to go back with the sense of having achieved something.

The concept of divorce mediation is based around the empowerment of the spouses. This means that the power and the running of the process is in the hands of the spouses; therefore, allowing for no implementation of universal rules throughout the mediation. The timings of the mediation depend on the availability of each of the spouses and similarly the pace and style is also set according to the will of the spouses. This means that there is little normal in the process of divorce mediation. The final agreements are also unlike litigation proceedings; therefore, allowing the spouses to agree on just about anything as long as both of them have willingly agreed.

Orange County divorce mediation is popular among the masses because of its overall sense of speed, flexibility, and cost effectiveness. These factors have worked to make it the new normal way of divorce and yet warrant that the process continues to be unique for each individual.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

This is where divorce mediation comes in. Mediation can alleviate a whole host of risks that are likely to be involved in the handling and potential division of a community property business.

Situations of Complication

Before we outline the benefits that mediation is going to provide you. Let’s take a look at situations where complications can occur in a business due to divorce:

• When both of the spouses have been involved in the operation and the owning of the business during the time the marriage lasted.
• When one spouse has been the owner and operator of the business while both the spouses have been married to each other.
• When one of the spouses has inherited the business or has been operating and owning the business before the marriage and does so during the marriage (this is only applicable to case complications if there has been a change in the value of the business).
• In situations where there is no need for spousal and child support to be paid, instead there needs to only be finding out of the self employed spouse’s income.

The Mediation Solution

There are lots of things that divorce mediation can do to make divorce transition easy for you, your business, and your business partner. A few examples of it are:

• The use of mediation will make sure you have to ample time to spare and spend in the running of your business. The flexibility of divorce mediation allows you to manage your business and mediation side by side with neither overlapping the other.

• There is nothing that can hurt you and yours more than emotional distress. The best business decisions are done with a clear head. Divorce mediation is a conversational process to a divorce allowing for amicable relations between the former spouses to prosper and a healthy understanding to develop.

• The lower costs of divorce mediation are also an advantage to lessen the complications to a business that might occur from it. Litigation is likely to cost a considerable amount of money, and unless you have unlimited resources in your business, that decision may ultimately hurt your business. The best way to avoid it is by pursuing divorce mediation services.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Infidelity is one of the most fatal blows to a marriage, since it is not only an act of dishonesty, but it is likely to break the other’s trust to almost irreparable level. This is because Infidelity is an act that comes with a lot of emotions. This means that this reason has an impact on divorce mediation like no other reason is likely to do. The most important issue that infidelity creates in the process of Orange County mediation is the lack of trust that it creates. This is an important aspect, since the whole process of divorce mediation is based on mutual cooperation and consensus, and lack of trust is likely to hamper all that.

These dangers and impacts of infidelity on divorce mediation have warranted the introduction of safeguards to handle such situations. They are:

Screening

The first thing to do before the process of mediation starts is to make sure that the client is able to get through mediation or not. This is done through the use of screening. Before the start of the mediation process, the clients have a meeting with the mediator. It is only after the meeting that mediators are in a position to decide if the clients are up for mediation or not.

Full Disclosure

The key to having a healthy and successful divorce mediation process is making sure that there are full disclosures by each of the spouse before the mediation process begins. Full disclosure, simply put, is a declaration by the spouses of their assets, financial position, debts, expenses, and total incomes. The validity of the claims is shown thrown additional documents that are attached with the declaration. This allows regaining the trust of the estranged party on the process.

The Continued Presence of the Mediator

When you have two spouses in the room alone, one who has been cheated on the other and they try to talk, that is more often than not a recipe for a total disaster. To avoid such sticky situations in the mediation process, as it is made sure that the divorce mediator is present in the process at all times to make sure the clients are facilitated in their communications and resolution of their issues.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Here are the 5 leading myths about divorce mediation:

·        Mediation won’t work for us, since it requires couples of amicable terms, and me and my spouse quarrel daily

This is definitely a rumor and is far from reality. Orange County divorce mediators are trained to perform in volatile situations and develop an atmosphere of calmness  around. Divorce mediation is all about having the couples talk it out; there is no such requirement of the couples being on amicable terms. More often than not, divorces are bitter; if amicability was a requirement, none of those divorces would have been successfully and peacefully transitioned to divorce through mediation.

·        I can’t have an attorney if I decide to mediate

Different spouses approach divorce mediation differently. Some like to come alone into the mediation process, while others want their attorney to participate with them. Divorce mediation is made to help the couples have flexible out of court settlements between themselves. This however by no means disallows the use of attorneys. In many cases, spouses do use their attorneys for the mediation discussions.

·        Mediation requires a large upfront payment

This is one of the leading misconceptions that have been doing the rounds regarding divorce mediation. Divorce mediation, just like other forms of mediation, is a process that is affordable. Typically, the mediators are likely to charge you an hourly basis pay with flexibility of timing allowed at your discretion. This allows the spouses to increase or decrease mediation time according to their budget.

·        Children get hurt irrespective of the method of divorce

This is not true. Litigation is a process that encourages competition and pits one spouse against the other, thus enhancing the sense of bitterness between the spouses. This when viewed by the child is likely to affect him/her adversely, while in mediation the circumstances change considerably. Divorce mediation is all about communication and compromises allowing for more cordial spouse relations and hence more peaceful affects on the child.

·        Mediation takes as long as litigation

Quite the contrary to this myth, using mediation allows the spouses to save time. Divorce mediations are purely between the spouses, which means that the amount of time is likely to be less than court cases which have lots of legal procedures, etc. The fact that the parties talk directly to each other allows them fast pace the resolution speed.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The most important asset for a parent during and after their Orange County divorce proceedings are their children. The importance of a child in terms of divorce can be seen by the fact that child custody cases are one of the most hotly contested cases in then family law courts of California.

Having said that though, there is another way to make sure parents are able to amicably decide on the child custody and other matters related to the child’s welfare without having to have bitter, long feuds in the court of laws. The divorce mediation dispute resolution method in Orange County allows the spouses to communicate and sort out the issues concerning the child. This is done to make sure the child is able to stay unaffected by the parental animosities and disputes.

Here are a few reasons that highlight benefits of using Orange County divorce mediation’s parenting plan:

• When it comes to the process of divorce mediation, the parents are allowed ample time to discuss their differences and reach a conclusion. This helps the parents formulate child-focused and thoughtful parenting plans for the benefits of the child.

• Mediation allows not only the effective formulation of the parenting plan, but through in-depth discussion, it allows for both parties to analyze the plan and iron out its kinks before its implementation.

• Generally, the process of mediation and formulation of parenting plan allows better communication between the parents lessening the animosity between the spouses.

• Parenting plans are not only important practically, they also have significant moral impact. The formulation of a parenting plan, and the willingness to participate in the Orange County mediation highlights the resolve of the parents to keep the child first.

• Orange County mediation allows the parents to decide on the way to deal with the future of the child in a comprehensive conclusion avoiding future conflicts.

• Parenting plans formulated as part of the mediation agreement reached between the parents are legally enforceable and provide little opportunity for either spouse to rescind.

• Perhaps one of the most important reasons to use Orange County divorce mediation and the parenting plan is its ability to allow improvement. Usually, the parenting plans formulated in divorce mediation allow the parents to consult third party experts to help them through the process of parenting.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Having said all that though, the role of an attorney still continues to be in Orange County mediation contrary to the popular belief. In this blog, we take a look at the role of the attorneys in mediation both before and during the process.

Pre-Mediation

Mediation is similar to arbitration and litigation in one respect; the fact that all three of these processes need adequate amounts of preparation. This is where the role of the attorney starts. An attorney can help prepare the clients using any of the following methods:

• By having a detailed conversation with the client regarding what divorce mediation is and the workings of the process. Attorneys are well versed in contrasting and drawing parallels they may use that skill to try and make the client aware of the process by drawing comparison to methods that the client knows well. A good family lawyer is likely to make the client aware of the differences of this method and the intricacies required to make it work.
• By aiding the client in the preparation of arguments and positions that they should take in Orange County mediation. Mediation is a process that has lots of paper work involved. A good divorce lawyer will make sure all the documents of a client are in order and ready to be used in mediation.

The Role During the Mediation

When it comes to the actual divorce mediation process, the role of the attorney is drastically different to one that they have in litigation proceedings. Here, the role of the attorney will only be to assist the client throughout the process. Below is a list of the ways they can assist the client in terms of divorce mediation:

• Attorneys need to first of all take note of the supportive role of the client and then try to help them with respects to information and advice.
• The role of the attorney throughout the process is likely to be one of being cooperative, supportive and committed to the process and their clients, assisting them in trying to bridge decisional differences.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The Best Interest of the Child

This is one of the most commonly used phrases in the divorce world, especially in family law and child custody cases. Yet, do you know what this phrase really means? When you look at the legal side of things, this is a rather complex area of law, since it includes entitlements, parental rights, child visitation, custodial parent residency, etc. The family courts in California use the principle of child’s best interest in deciding a variety of cases and mediators also keep it at the top of their agenda in divorce mediations.

Yet before we talk about it more, let’s take a brief look at the standard of this best interest rule that needs to be considered before any decision is taken:

• The type of contact that exists between the parents
• Any history of child abuse either emotional, physical or mental
• The levels of child safety, welfare and health
• Any history of drug, alcohol or substance abuse by either parent
• Criminal record of the parents

Mediated Divorce

While these legal definitions do form the basis of the concept, but it is important to realize that Orange County divorce mediators and spouses are not bounded by these legal definitions. For parents who take part in divorce mediations, the parents can look at the existing child-parent relation through the best interest canvas, but it is by no means mandatory.

In divorce and custody mediation, the standard of the child’s best interest is not only depends upon the legal considerations, it also includes ethical and moral considerations. More often than not, each child is different from the other; hence, divorce mediations allow the parents to mutually determine what’s best for the child considering his/her individual case.

According to recent studies on children, the child best flourishes in environments where their surroundings are peaceful and full of harmony. The key to harvesting the child’s best growth in addition to looking for his/her best interest is to have effective and frequent communications with them as well as keeping them away from the spousal bitterness of a divorce.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

In divorce mediation, the spouse’s behavior takes up a whole different level of importance. Mediation is a process that involves cooperation and coordination between the spouses to reach a conclusion. Ideally, mediation requires both the spouses at ease and willing to work towards a solution, to be effective. In reality though, different spouses tend to act differently in Orange County divorce mediation solutions.

Here, we are going to talk about the different situations and how spouses are seen to react in each.

The Financial Muscle

Was your spouse the one who was always under control of your marriage? Did he/she earn the most in the household? If the answer to either of those questions is in the affirmative, chances are that your spouse craves power and is accustomed to authority. Spouses with such tendencies are often resistant to any kind of change in their life without their approval, let alone divorce.

A divorce mediation is likely to result in a restless, dominant, and overpowering behavior from your spouse, trying to sustain their control over you. This is one of the most common situations and it should not deter your decisions. People with such behavior are likely to prefer litigation to death, but trying and talking to them may result in them trying mediation.

Instable Emotional State

Divorce as previously mentioned is a painful process in itself. Add an emotionally unstable spouse, and the divorce proceedings threaten to boil over and become dangerous. Divorce mediation is a process that depends on reasoning, logic, and immense resolve to try and seek resolution. Spouses that are emotionally unstable are likely to have a distinct sense of revenge, and lack of logic.

Emotional instability can result from several factors, which may include hate towards the other spouse, a feeling of un–fulfillment, or a sense of betrayal. When a person is in that state of mind, it is better to consult a psychiatrist before any kind of divorce proceedings whether they is divorce mediation or litigation can be started. The lack of mental incapacity at a later date can be sighted as a reason by the spouse’s lawyer to annul any agreements, resolutions, and decisions that are taken at this point.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

What Transpires during Divorce Mediation?

In divorce mediation, the role of a divorce mediator is to listen to the clients talk about the issues regarding their assets, property, and children, if they have any. The divorce mediator during this takes calculated notes of everything said in the meeting to keep a record to reference later on. In the first meeting, each partner is asked to bring financial documents with him or her to give to the mediator to look over. The mediator doesn’t interfere, but guides them to make a fair decision regarding the division of assets by telling them laws to aid the decision-making process.

Brief Introduction to the Divorce Mediation Process

The first meeting is the longest because the divorce mediator reviews the financial documents provided by each party to see if the information provided is accurate. The mediator then takes the time to discuss the financial documents in detail. If one partner thinks that their ex is hiding something, they can voice their concern in the first meeting. That’s why it’s recommended that clients come prepared, especially if they suspect their ex to hide something. After the finances are out in the open, the partners get the floor.

Each partner tells the other of what he or she thinks is fair and not fair. After hearing each person’s viewpoint, the mediator provides them with legal information about their options regarding the division of assets and property. The information provided by the mediator can be general or complex depending on the type of assets being disputed. Lastly, the partner’s wish list of what they should get out of the divorce is discussed thoroughly.

What Each Person is Interested in Getting

This in one of the most crucial points of the divorce, as it decides who gets what after the divorce is finalized. If the partners want the same thing such as the house, it could create animosity between the two. However, in divorce mediation, they don’t fight for the property, but come to a conclusion to benefit both of them. For instance, they may try to sell the house and split the profit two ways. The best part is that both of them get to decide what each wants, and then make a decision together, without the intrusion of a third party to influence them or make a ruling on who gets what.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Mediation is when couples solve the divorce and its details in between themselves through communication with the help of a mediator. Any process of getting divorced is bound to have a its pros and cons. Here we give you a few pointers on how you can make the most of Orange County divorce mediation.

Timing Should Be Spot On

Timing of divorce is one of the most important aspects. Subsequently, it plays an important role in divorce mediation processes. While the time of the divorce is you and your partner’s prerogative, it is important that the time of mediation is earlier than your divorce. The further away the date of divorce and divorce mediation, the greater chance you have of being able to make the most out of your divorce. With more time, the communications are likely to be deeper and the resolution would be reached quicker. This can save you on a lot of time in addition to significant sum of legal fees.

Know What You Want To Achieve

The people that take most time on the road in one single trip are usually those that are unsure of their location. If you know the place you want to go tend to go straight for it instead of beating about the bush. The same applies in the case of divorce mediation. One of the most important ways you can extract the best out of divorce mediation is to go in it with a clear goal. When you know what you want to achieve, your divorce mediation is likely to stay focused and clear in its approach towards a resolution.

Think Ahead, Think Long Term

Emotions and feelings are closely attached with the word divorce. It is almost impossible to show a lack of emotion when one’s relationship is ending. While it is important to not bottle your emotions down and risk them boiling over at a critical moment. In divorce mediation, sometimes you need to set your emotions aside and think about the long term. Mediation is all about the communications between the spouses. To make the most of that, you need to set aside whatever emotion of hate or sadness you have towards your spouse, look towards the future, and think of the closure the resolution of this issue will give you.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Similar to divorce mediators, when it comes to clients and couples that are going through a divorce mediation, it is important for them to have a set of rules that they are willing to follow. Following these rules will be a boost for their mediation attempts to bear fruit. These rules can be termed as the three gems that all couples going into divorce mediation should keep with them. These rules are:

Stay honest At All times

Honesty is the key to your divorce mediation being successful. From the very start of your mediation process right up until the end, you will be needed to disclose tons of information to aid in the mediation process.  If you are unable to be honest, the result of the mediation will be based on false claims, which are highly unlikely to work. At the first day of your consultation, you’ll be asked about the goals that you expect to achieve with the mediation. It is important that you are honest and clear with your Orange County divorce mediator at this point because that is likely to set the tone for the whole session.

Don’t Take Your Emotions Into Your Mediation Sessions

Divorce can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences for a person. People going through a divorce are likely to be hurt, sad, and angry. While this is true, it is important to make sure that you keep these emotions under control when you are going through divorce mediation. In mediations, it is important that you talk your issues out with your other spouse and letting your emotions take the best of you will make your point of view weaker.

Fairness is the Name of the Game

The only way divorce mediation works is with both the parties playing fair. Fairness needs to be exhibited in your approach to the divorce mediation. Mediation depends on the cooperation between the two spouses, if you try and gain unfair advantages, the mediation process if unlikely to work. The key to a good mediation process is for both the spouses to be fair and just with each other and give themselves the best chance to work themselves out.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Your wedding ring can be included as part of the divorce proceedings. The fate of the wedding ring will be in the hands of the judge, not you. Well, that is somewhat unfair, as you should be the one to decide the fate of your property, from the house down to the wedding ring. Do you know what?

We agree with you! You should have a say, as it’s your future that’s being decided here. Divorce litigation will be unfair to both of you, and not to mention brutal, if the judge decides to award your wedding ring to your partner. If both of you come to a mutual understanding and decide to go with divorce mediation, your views and opinions will be heard.

How Divorce Mediation Works in Your Favor

Divorce mediation requires your partner and you to be upfront with each other regarding all the financial documents such as pending debts, income, retirement, assets, and property, including the wedding ring. During divorce mediation, you can raise questions regarding the validity of the financial documents presented before you that is if you suspect your partner isn’t disclosing something he or she should.

After everything is out in the open and you don’t suspect foul play, you can raise the question about the future of the wedding ring. Since your partner and you understand the sentimental value behind a small piece of jewelry, you will be better suited to make a decision regarding its fate.

Even though selling the wedding ring is the most chosen option, people have opted to keep the wedding ring to turn it into something new or pass it down to their daughter or son, if they have children. Sometimes, the partners don’t mind their ex not sharing the profit of the ring with them, if they decide to sell it. Therefore, divorce mediation tops the list of ways to obtain a divorce on your own terms and conditions, without harboring any bad blood in the end of it.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The whole point of divorce mediation is to keep your spats, arguments, and marital problem from going public. Look at it this way. The walls of the divorce mediator’s office are soundproofed and their lips are sealed, meaning no sound will escape. The same cannot be said about you, as you may be inclined to share what happened during the divorce mediation process to someone you trust.

If that’s the case, you might want to pick the people that you decide to air your dirty laundry to carefully. When it comes to the mediator leaking information, stay rest assured because they won’t. Divorce mediation is a process that was created on the grounds of remaining strict confidentiality. Hence, there is no way that you may find someone talking about you and your partner’s divorce proceedings. The divorce mediator will make both of you sign a confidentiality agreement as well. If you decide to go to court, the proceedings can be disclosed to your attorneys.

Can You Use the Divorce Mediation Sessions as Evidence?

You cannot use any part or section of the divorce mediation proceedings as evidence in court against your partner. When the whole purpose of divorce mediation is to provide you and your partner with a comfortable and stress-free environment to discuss the problems in your marriage, the division of property and assets, and the custody of children, if you have any, you can rest easy, as that’s what you’ll receive in return.

In the instance, you decide to go to court after divorce mediation, you cannot use the mediation proceedings and discussion as evidence to be used against your partner, you cannot subpoena the mediator to testify on behalf of you or against your partner, and you cannot force anyone involved in the mediation proceedings to speak in your favor. However, we are hoping that it won’t come to that and both parties will be able to reach a resolution and leave the marriage satisfied with the end results of the divorce settlement agreement.

What Are the Repercussions to Breaching the Confidentiality Agreement?

If the parties involved disclose the proceedings to someone else with the aim to hurt them in some way, the party that’s at fault will be required to pay a fine. This will result in multiple trips to the court and expense of obtaining attorneys. Even if you’re compelled to share the events that transpired in the mediation room to use to your advantage, don’t! You will be paying double or more to what you paid for the divorce mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

In addition, parents may not agree on what the child needs.  But almost certainly, the financial and emotional strain of a protracted legal battle is not the answer.  The truth is that mediated divorce is the best way to ensure a healthy and happy future for a special needs child.  When divorcing parents agree to use a child-focused divorce mediation process, real progress and tenable agreements can be made.

Focusing on the short- and medium-term

A divorce mediator with special needs experience will ensure that the mediation process includes significant focus on the medical, educational, social and emotional well-being of the child.  This includes both short- and long-term living arrangements as well as financial planning to ensure future care.  When appropriate, the mediator will place particular focus on creating an agreement as to how different types of medical decisions will be made.

Making plans for the long-term

Some special needs children will need care and support throughout adulthood, and the mediation process can lay the foundation for that.  Divorcing parents of children with severe disabilities may need to plan for their child to have housing, social security benefits, and ongoing care, even beyond the lifetime of the parents.  While traditional divorce agreements frequently do not address these issues, a mediated divorce agreement can create a framework plan to ensure that both parents are working towards these important goals.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

This reputation is based on many factors that can range from the contributions of the elders to that area to the way they have social interactions and relation with people. For people that live in Orange County, the love and affection for their families is no different.

Divorce, on the other hand, is associated with words like end, breaking up, and emotional stress. Most divorces can be a torment for the person going through it. Divorces are known to be able to break even the strongest of people emotionally.

When two people who had pledged to stay together separate, this separation isn’t only limited to them but the effects of the divorce tend to reach one’s family too. When a couple comes to the conclusion of getting involved in a divorce, there are two ways available to both of them. One way of divorce is through the courts and the process of litigation while the other one is through Orange County divorce mediation.

The Effect of Litigation

In this article, we will look at both the options and how they can affect or protect the family’s reputation while the divorce process is going on and after it has finished.  Divorce can be achieved by couples through litigation in courts, but the process of litigation brings the two spouses at almost warring fronts against each other.

In courts, the mentality that usually prevails in divorce cases is an “us against them” mentality, which only leads to more bitterness in the courtroom and in the future correspondence between the clients. What effect does it have on the families? Court rooms are public places and the level of mudslinging going on in courts tarnish the reputation of both the spouses and their families in front of the general public. Another reason for a litigation divorce’s negative effect on the reputation of one’s family is that even to this day a small minority of traditionalists are against the act of divorce.

The Effect of Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is another way for the couples to get separated. Unlike the process of litigation, divorce mediation is a process that works on the cooperation of the spouses with each other for the resolution of their issues.

This process is based on things such as mutual respect, and open, honest communication, which makes it a more harmonious way to get separated. What effects do divorces have on the reputation of the people involved? While there will be those who take the traditional road to litigation, the fact that the issues can be solved through divorce mediation between the parties without the need for the dispute going public means that most of the family’s reputation will remain intact.

The bottom line is that the best way to protect a family’s reputation in divorce is by separating through the divorce mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

A divorce mediator should help their clients complete their Preliminary Declarations of Disclosure forms before the mediation process begins, which includes the Schedule of Assets and Income and Expense Declaration forms.   For those of you who are wondering about the importance of these forms and the reasons as to why they are filled, here are a few answers that will help you out:

If you neglect to properly complete your Financial Disclosure, your Agreement can be nullified

California divorce mediators want the couples to have an agreement at the end of the mediation process. This agreement should be fair and equitable to both parties so that it can be adjudged as legal in the Family law courts.  According to the Section 2107(d) of the California Family Code, a judge can set aside any such agreement if there hasn’t been complete financial disclosure. Mediation and sorting your issues out can be a strenuous and tedious task. Nobody wants a simple mistake like non disclosure to destroy their mutually agreed on terms.

It can be a calming influence

Going into divorce is just like going into a dark room. There is a considerable amount of uneasiness and stress underlying in the minds of both the spouses. The most important reason for this is usually the uncertainty over financial security and wellbeing. The best way to avoid such situations and make the divorce easier is by getting the couple to talk about their finances candidly. A good Orange County divorce mediator will make sure financial disclosure is the first thing couples go through  so that calmness and certainty can prevail.

A bed rock for Cooperation

Divorce mediation unlike litigation requires harmony, peace, and collaboration between both the parties in order to be fruitful and beneficial. Transparency and good faith are the roots of an effective California divorce mediation. This transparency and good faith can only be achieved when the couples are open about one of the personal aspects of someone’s life, i.e. their finances. If each spouse is upfront and honest about their finances, there will be a greater cooperation and team work among the divorcing couples.

Makes your decisions better

What is the key to a good decision? Information! The more knowledge you have about something, the higher the chances of you making a better decision. Financial disclosure allows the couples this leverage of information. The more they know about each other’s financial positions, the more equitable an agreement they’ll agree on regarding financial security.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

And this is one reason that anyone who owns a business should consider divorce mediation before litigated divorce.

As Crain’s Chicago Business noted in a recent article, divorce has taken down many businesses, and it is often because lawyers have more financial incentive to draw the process out and create more conflict than to swiftly and levelheadedly resolve all of the issues.

In the article, Steve Thorne, an accountant with Deloitte Tax, exhorts divorcing couples to work together on the financial and practical issues.  For example, business valuations can be expensive, so Thorne advises that couples agree on a single valuation company and divide the cost rather than paying for separate valuations (which can cost tens of thousands of dollars).

Many business owners think that mediation simply isn’t an option, because of the complexity of the financial and legal issues at hand.  And it is true that for some issues, a lawyer will be necessary to draw up a particular legal agreement as it relates to the business.

But a trained divorce mediator, working in conjunction with accountants and other professionals, can create agreements between the divorcing spouses on all of the issues, so that the use of a lawyer can be targeted, limited, and cost effective.

Divorcing spouses who intend to continue running the business together can benefit greatly from mediation.  A successful, low-drama mediation can be a cornerstone for the kind of collaboration that will be needed to work together on the business.

But perhaps the most important benefit of divorce mediation, when it comes to the health of the business itself, is that it resolves the divorce with less money and time spent.  As Thorne indicates, litigated divorces can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and take years to complete.  That is a lot of time and money to take away from a business intended to support you and your loved ones for years to come.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

First Stage: Introductory

The mediator will familiarize you with the process and so you should come with a list of questions in mind to ask. Discuss all the issues that you want resolved. If an issue needs more attention than others, convey that to the mediator. Moreover, the mediator will suggest different ways to optimize effective communication.

Second Stage:  Information-Gathering

Your first session may have brought up many different issues such as finances, children, debts, and loans, among others. If you haven’t brought the documents with you in the first meeting (it’s better to bring them in the first stage), the mediator will tell you to bring them when you visit again. During the second stage, finances are discussed, documents reviewed, and suggestions thrown around. Since division of assets is a critical issue, two or more meetings could be required to come to an agreement.

Third Stage:  Framing The Issues

The divorce mediator will ask the partners to write down reasons of what they want to see in the agreement. Their outline will consist of reasons such as concerns, goals, values, priorities, needs, and interests. After both parties have created the outline, they will discuss it between each other to see if they can come to a resolution. In order for this to be successful, don’t write off the suggestions that your partner gives, but listen to them even if what they are saying doesn’t sit well with you. Most importantly, keep in mind that in order for your partner to consider your interests, compromising on some is necessary. When you cooperate, they may as well.

Fourth Stage:  Negotiating The Issues

With the assistance of the mediator, partners will come up with a few options to solve the issue. They will evaluate each option to determine which one works better. At this stage, the partners will negotiate with each other until they can see eye to eye on a resolution. Towards the end of this stage, the options are decided.

Fifth Stage:  Written Agreement

The mediator will send a draft of the settlement agreement to both spouses to view. If both spouses agree, the mediator will write up the final version of the settlement agreement, which the mediator can submit to the court for filing.  As a precaution, it’s advised to have a lawyer review the agreement before submitting it to the court.  Sometimes, your mediator is a lawyer, but it is important to note that they are not representing either party as a legal advocate in that situation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

1.    Divorce Mediation is best for Your Kids

Divorce mediation lets you and your partner focus on the well-being of the kids rather than deciding who the better parent is. Fighting over your children in court or when around them is not going to help them. Day to day, your kids are going to be affected by the on-going situation developing between you and your partner. Divorce mediation will help bring closure to your children, as it will help develop a parenting plan that you both decided together during your sessions.

2.    Divorce Mediation is a Neutral Process

The mediator doesn’t pick sides when deciding on custody. The mediator is there just to listen and assist the parties in coming to agreement.  After hearing both of your arguments and solutions, the mediator along with you and your spouse will assist you and work out a solution.

3.    No One is Blamed

Divorce mediation doesn’t put the blame on one party, as in order for mediation to even work, both partners have to work with each other. Instead of assigning blame, you both will be saying what you both think is the right choice for your kids.

4.    Divorce Mediation Focuses on Your Children’s Future

As parents, you both deeply care for your children and wouldn’t want anything to harm them. The only way you would do that would be to create a friendly relationship with each other.  Only then are you able to create a stable and loving environment for your children to grow up in.

5.    Divorce Mediation Decreases Stress

Divorce for both spouses and a child is a stressful time. Divorce mediation works to reduce that stress by providing you with the proper tools to come to a resolution. Your children will be happy to see their parents going about the divorce with a clear head and less stress.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

One of the best things that divorcing parties can do ensure that mediation moves forward smoothly is to devote some time to preparation. While it is ideal if both parties have taken steps to prepare, it still helps the process along if at least one of the parties comes well-prepared.

1. Begin gathering documents.
All divorce processes require a hefty amount of paperwork, and nothing creates a speed bump like missing information. Ask your mediator for a complete list of the documents required, identify those not in your possession and request them immediately. Obtaining records can be a lengthy process, and divorcing parties who don’t emphasize their collection can find themselves growing frustrated with the haphazard process that can result.

2. Find and use a co-parenting communication tool.
A number of online communication tools exist for planning and communicating about the practical details of family life, and some of them are uniquely designed for separated or divorced parents. Co-parenting tools like Our Family Wizard can reduce conflict and misunderstanding while helping keep communication drama-free. With effective, practical co-parenting tools in place, mediation can move forward smoothly.

3. Create a divorce mission statement.
Write down your goals for yourself and your family through the divorce. If you are having trouble doing this on your own, we suggest getting some context: talk to a therapist, watch a documentary about divorce or read a book. Outside references can help you articulate what you do and do not want. We have found that divorce mission statements help participants stay focused, making the process easier and the outcome more successful.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

With those changes, practical and legal issues will arise. What if a parent wants to move away while the children are still young? What if one of the parties’ financial situation changes substantially?

Change and conflict do not have to create family turmoil and stress. Divorced spouses can plan to collaboratively handle and resolve conflict. Returning to mediation can be a powerful tool in the process of keeping post-divorce life moving forward.

If one or both parents wishes to modify the custody agreement, the return to mediation should be automatic. If they arrive in court without a complete agreement about every aspect of the new arrangement, the court will mandate the parents to see a court-appointed mediator.

Mediation can protect children from emotional damage by providing a collaborative, rather than combative, context for working through disagreement and creating an acceptable arrangement.

Changes in support can also lead a family back to mediation. When employment or financial circumstances change, support issues can arise. Disagreements over money are unpleasant, but spending a lot more money in court fighting over money is worse for everyone — and often needless.

Private divorce mediators are trained to help divorced spouses work through financial arrangements productively. Post-divorce support mediation avoids the long court process and puts the spouses in control of the outcome.

For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

In other circumstances when the divorce is due to irreconcilable differences, the divorcing partners should hire the services of a divorce mediator. Here is why hiring a divorce mediator is the most logical choice for divorcing couples:

1.    If Children are Involved

You may or may have children, but if you do, you should choose divorce mediation. As parents, you need to put the needs of your children first. Dragging them into court will not achieve that, as it will only make them more miserable. You don’t want to disgrace your partner in front of your children as well. A couple with kids will only understand how important it is to maintain a co-parenting relationship after the divorce is finalized.

2.    If Neither Party has Money

The litigation process is costly and for people who can’t afford it may be left penniless in the end especially if the other spouse’s aim is to take them to the cleaners. On the other hand, divorce mediation is less costly and will save you money. For this reason, discuss with your partner to hire the services of a divorce mediation firm to reach an amicable agreement on issues.

3.    If the Parties Want to Remain Civil with Each Other

If you share the same group of friends and have increased chances of running into each other, litigation is the wrong process for you. Divorce mediation will help both you come out like winners. With the help of the mediator, you both would have reached a mutual agreement agreed on by both of you. Leaving the meetings on a friendly note will help you remain on good terms with each other.

4.    If the Parties Want to Move On

After the divorce, you want to move on with your lives. You will be unable to if getting a divorce takes longer than you expect. That is why choosing divorce mediation is more logical. It only takes about three to four months to come to an agreement. You both will be able to go back to school, date other people, or move on to another state. Divorce mediation will help you achieve your goals faster.

If you were wondering what the most logical decision to get a divorce is, the answer is divorce mediation. You, your partner, and others around you can benefit from choosing to get an amicable divorce that doesn’t consist of arguments.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Children don’t want to see their parents constantly trying to put down each other. Although parents may take caution when they speak, in the heat of the moment, wrong things may come out. To help ease the tense situation that may have developed in your household due to your announcement, you may want to acquire the services of a divorce mediator to assist you develop a parenting plan that you both can agree on:

1.     Develop a Plan to Suit a Child’s Needs

The children may be under a lot of stress upon hearing such sudden news even if they had predicted that this would be the outcome. Due to the constant argument, and then the divorce announcement, they may be filled with a variety of emotions. The parenting plan is developed keeping your child current developmental, temperamental, and emotional needs in mind.

2.     Address Looming Problems Prior to Going to Court

You may have sought child custody divorce mediation because you wanted to lessen the pain your children felt. If some problems regarding the child’s upbringing and the issue on who will get the child on what days, can be addressed during divorce mediation. It will save you both the trouble to decide this beforehand with a mediator, as this issue can take on a heated nature in the courtroom.

3.     Divorce Mediation Helps Parents See Straight

When couples dislike each other, their judgment on certain issues can become clouded. A divorce mediator helps you see straight. They help you come to a mutual understanding of the underlying issue at hand. By presenting you with good conflict resolution skills, your children will learn to adopt them as well.

4.     Parenting Plan Conveys a Positive Message

When two parents are at odds with each other, everyone expects to see a fight. To avoid being the town gossip, set an example for the school, other parents, and most importantly for your kids. Come up with a detailed parenting plan that addresses both the partners concerns about their kids. The children will definitely see the upside of this for their parents are finally collaborating on something, which concerns them.

5.     Divorce Mediation Exposes Parents to Co-Parenting Issues

With a third person present in the room, it will help parents see more clearly. The trained mediator will present them issues that can become a hurdle for them in the future if not dealt with them earlier. The plan, when drawn up, will address all of those issues.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

1.    “I don’t want to be in the Same Room as my Partner”

Divorce can get messy when two people are at each other’s throat constantly. Therefore, the thought of being in the same room as them can make you tense and believe that there is no way on earth you two could come to an agreement. This is where the mediator steps in. When two people are about to lash out at each other, the mediator works to divert your attention back to the work at hand by helping they two of you make rational decisions.

2.    “I think the Mediator is trying to Repair my Marriage”

People assume that a mediator is someone that couples go to get back together. That is the wrong perception of divorce mediators, as they are not therapists trying to repair a marriage. They are not there to reunite the couple, but their main focus lies in coming up with a settlement agreement amicably so that they can move on with their lives.

3.    “I believe that the Courtroom is the Perfect Place to Fight for my Kids”

Couples with children who want to claim sole custody of their kids are willing to go to court and stir up negativity and pain for the children caught in the middle of their battle. If you have children, you can seek child custody mediations to come to a joint agreement on what the custodial schedule will be for each parent.

4.    “I will just fight for what belongs to me”

You can do the same in divorce mediation except the only difference is that instead of fighting in court about to it during divorce mediation you two will sit together and thoroughly analyze the issues. The constant bickering can be left out, as you both will have a hand in coming up with a settlement agreement that you both are satisfied with.

5.    “Mediation is the best Method for Every Divorce Situation”

Although mediation is a preferred process to separate, it is not the ideal process for every situation. If divorce is occurring due to spousal abuse, addiction, or if you feel the spouse is concealing assets. If that is the case, you may want to try the traditional method of seeking divorce.

Divorce mediation compared to traditional divorce is oftentimes a better substitute. Therefore, it is pertinent that these myths be put to rest so people can make a decision that is beneficial to both parties.

If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, contact California Divorce Mediators at (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

1.     What Can You Expect during Divorce Mediation?

A divorce mediation procedure consists of the married couple sitting down in a secluded room with their chosen divorce mediator. The divorce mediator, with the consent and involvement of the divorcing partners, works to resolution of all pending issues with the end goal of creating a comprehensive settlement agreement.  Divorce mediation is based on mutual agreement on unresolved issues. Therefore, partners need to remain civil when arriving at solutions.

2.     Will You Also Need An Attorney?

Many people think that if they are seeking the aid of a divorce mediator, they will not require the services of a divorce attorney. Either during or after a divorce mediator session, you have the right to hire a divorce attorney to help you go over the agreement and spot any irregularities in it, but that is entirely up to you. The attorney may also provide you with valid points to cover in the settlement agreement.  If the divorce mediator that you are using is also a divorce attorney, which will help assure that the agreement is drafted correctly.

3.     What is the Skill Level of the Divorce Mediator?

The law in most states does not require divorce mediators to hold a law degree. Therefore, when choosing a divorce mediator, be sure to find someone whose is experienced in dealing with two partners who want a calmer and more peaceful process to end their marriage. Another thing to consider when looking for a divorce mediator is to find one who is also a divorce/family law attorney, as they have knowledge of the law and real-life experience with divorce cases that he or she can draw from in working with you to come up with workable solutions.

4.     What Issues Are Addressed during Divorce Mediation?

Just like in any other divorce proceedings, a number of issues can be resolved. Some issues that are addressed during the meetings include child support, child custody, division of assets, and spousal support. Unlike in court where these issues would have created tension between the two parties, divorce mediation offers an alternate solution to calling it quits.

5.     Do You Need to Have Extensive Knowledge about Finances?

Individuals worry that their lack of knowledge in finances may lead to the other partner getting more in the settlement agreement.  Some individuals can fret over the financial assets that the other person may have hidden. Your divorce mediator can assist you in addressing those issues for both of you and explaining the financial ramifications.  If you want further information to determine for yourself as to whether the financial terms of your marital settlement agreement are in your best interests, you can consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.  The CDFA will update you on your current financial situation and inform you what you may need to keep track of in the future. With the knowledge they can provide you with, you can proceed with divorce mediation with more confidence that you are working out your divorce case in a way that makes the most financial sense for you.

If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.  As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.

What is Divorce Mediation?

The pair who is splitting up hires a divorce mediator to help them establish a settlement agreement. The mediator doesn’t favor one party over the other, but works neutrally with both parties.

Advantages

• Helps to maintain an cordial relationship with your partner even after the divorce
• Children will not be caught in middle of a child custody battle in the instance you have kids
• Speeds up the divorce proceedings
• Less expensive
• The partners make the decision and not the court
• Lets two people handle the divorce in private

Disadvantages

• If two people are not able to reach an agreement, some additional money and time will have been spent in the process
• An inexperienced divorce mediator may be biased towards one partner
• If the agreement is not drafted correctly or if legal problems arise, it can be challenged in court (which can be a problem if the mediator is not also an experienced divorce attorney)
• The agreement may not be fair if one partner overpowers the other partner

What is Collaborative Divorce?

In order to avoid going to court, the separating partners can decide to go the route of collaborative divorce, which is a separate system where each party agrees to that system.  By doing so, each party is represented by a collaborative divorce attorney trained in collaborative divorce.  In addition, there is a financial professional involved that handles all of the financial disclosure work, and generally one or both parties also have a “divorce coach” involved, such as a therapist.  In other words, there can be at least 4 professionals involved in the collaborative divorce process.

Advantages

• Provides the partners with solutions to reach an amicable settlement agreement
• The process is meant to resolve cases peacefully out of court
• The couple divorcing are in-charge of deciding what to do with their lawyers advising them along the way
• Lets partners address a variety of issues unlike in court

Disadvantages

• Unlike divorce mediation where there is generally just the divorce mediator involved, the collaborative divorce process involves multiple professionals, all of which must be paid for their services.  As a result, the collaborative divorce process is not necessarily a cost-effective way to resolve divorce cases compared to divorce mediation
• If an agreement is not reached, the collaborative divorce attorneys will have to resign from the case and the partners will have to appoint new attorneys, as neither party can hire the same attorney

What is Litigated Divorce?

Litigated divorce is the most common divorce, as the two parties hire separate attorneys and fight in court on the issues of divorce such as child custody and the distribution of assets.

Advantages

• Most common divorce procedure
• Best for divorcing parties who cannot work together in resolving their disputes
• The most appropriate procedure where domestic violence or abuse is involved

Disadvantages

• It’s expensive and produces financial distress for the average divorcing family
• If the partners have children, child custody battle could turn ugly
• Often puts children in the middle of the divorce disputes and causes the most emotional damage to children
• Tends to take the most time to resolve
• Produces animosity, stress, and fuels further litigation
• Results in court orders not worked out by the parties and which might not be as enforceable as a result

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.  As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.