If you do post or tweet or blog, you are in good company. But before you decide to share the details of your divorce, consider taking a step back. Think about how your vitriol towards another person will look to mutual friends, to family, to your coworkers, or to anyone who might stumble across it. Think about what your children may someday read.

And, if you do decide to write about it? Stay cool. As tempting as it may be to bash your ex via one of your online outlets, don’t. Do not threaten them, do not trash them, do not share private information, do not air their – or your – dirty laundry. It is so tempting to vent, but things you post can be saved forever –even if you delete them later, there are screenshots and caches that can easily snagged by someone and saved. Instead, pick up the phone to a friend, make a coffee date or schedule a counseling appointment. Talk to a live person, get some outside perspective, and don’t leave your “in the moment” mood for all to see.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

If your split was acrimonious, a joint custody arrangement can feel uncomfortable. You may have a painful history that you are reminded of whenever you and your ex have to communicate — and because you have children, you will need to communicate on a regular basis. Discussing shared decisions and having to see each other at drop off and pick up times can be quite unpleasant, at first. But co-parenting is something you and your ex can and must learn to do, if you want your children to thrive.

Children need to feel loved and wanted in both households, with realistic limits, appropriate discipline, and positive reinforcement. Children should be shielded from their parents battles, disagreements and ongoing and resentments.

Here are some dos and don’t for parenting post-divorce:
 Do not push your children, overly or covertly, to choose one parent over the other.
 Do not send messages to your ex through your children.
 Do not use your children to “report back” on your ex.
 Do not criticize the other parent’s choices in front of your children.
 Do not recount for your children grievances you had or still have from the marriage.
 Do not explain to your children the logistics of your divorce or your financial agreement.
 Do not make your children your confidant, your caregiver or your emotional companion.

Also,
 Do strive to ensure your children feel wanted and loved in your home.
 Do be patient if your children act out or regress slightly for a period of time. It is how children deal with the stress of divorce.
 Do reach out for professional support for your child if he or she is still having trouble after several months.
 Do work out a relationship with your ex where you can communicate without rancor about issues involving parenting and the children.
 Do keep in mind the positive things your ex brings to his or her parenting role.

There are numerous resources for parenting after a separation or divorce, including therapists, counselors, books, websites, and mediators. If you have concerns about your child custody arrangements, your spousal support or other issues regarding your divorce, speak with a qualified Denver child custody lawyer.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Distribution of Property (Assets/Liabilities)

Child Custody Arrangements and Allocation of Parenting Time

Child Support/Maintenance

Retirement and Taxes

Mediation can be a lower-stress, cost-effective option if a couple wants to avoid going to court. Mediation is also a good solution for couples who feel they want a more active role in their divorce settlement. And, if a couple hires an experienced divorce attorney, they can rest assured that their legal concerns will be well covered, as well.

During mediation meetings, the couple works out agreements regarding all aspects of the issues. The mediator’s job is to step in to intervene when needed, by refocusing attention, brainstorming ideas, and injecting objective insight as needed. The mediator can be someone hired as an outside consultant, such as an experienced divorce attorney. A mediator’s main goals are to be objective, work with flexible solutions as needed, and allow both parties to feel heard and fairly represented. The mediator will keep whatever is shared during mediation sessions as confidential information.  A divorce mediator does not represent either spouse, nor can he or she offer advice to either party. The focus must remain on neutrality, regardless of the situation. That is how mediation works best. His or her goal is to assist both parties to formulate ideas, willingly negotiate, and agree together on how to assign assets, debt and other estate and custody issues.

Mediation is a voluntary process and works as long as both parties agree to it, usually in multiple sessions that span weeks or months. The length of mediation is often dictated by what issues are at stake and how mediation sessions progress. The time spent in mediation is greatly reduced if some agreement options can be made even prior to mediation, but for many couples, attempting to discuss divorce details without outside support, the results can be contentious.

The average number of sessions for pre-decree divorce mediation tends to run between 4 and 10 sessions, depending on the flexibility of the parties to compromise.  While mediation is not right for every couple, when it is a good fit, they can work together one last time to resolve the issues and move forward.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

While he makes a valid point, it is yet to be seen if equal parenting would truly benefit from being statutorily mandated. Like property ownership, it is often the case that one partner has a more prominent role. When a family breaks up, there are shared parenting arrangements, designed to be in the best interest of the children. When one parent works longer hours or is away more, it makes sense that the other parent spends more time as the defacto custodial parent. Should both parents automatically be awarded equal custody when the parenting roles were not equal?

As I see in my own practice far too often, a custody case, as difficult as it can be, is also the time where parenting issues can be raised. If there is concern regarding parental behavior, it is often one where there clearly should not be a presumption favoring joint physical custody and shared parenting time.

Mandating joint custody does not allow for case-by-case decision making, and deciding parental custody for each child continues to be in each child’s best interest.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Make things feel homey. Pelosi suggests you make the home you share with your children as cozy as possible. Your ex took the couch? Get another one, even if it’s second-hand, or put some big chairs in its place. But try to not move things around too much – you want to fill that gaping hole where the couch used to be without turning the entire house upside down. And if are the one who moved out, spend time to create a welcoming environment for you children. Unpack. Decorate. Make their new home a home for your children, too, while they are there.

Support Your Kid’s Other Parent. Yes, you don’t want your ex to be in your life any longer, but that person is still your child’s other parent. Regardless of how you feel about your ex acted as a spouse, or acts as an ex-spouse, if they are an attentive parent, good for them. Your child needs as much high-quality parenting as they can get.

Keep Your Boundaries. Sometimes, single parents inadvertently begin to look at their kids as confidants. Don’t. Your children are not counselors, or very short adult friends. They do not need to know about your loneliness, your dating woes, or your financial concerns. Speak to actual adults if you need a shoulder for support. Your children will only become anxious and confused if they have to play the role of emotional co-adult and your child.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Rutherford filed for divorce from German businessman Daniel Giersch in 2008. Soon after, the two began a lengthy custody battle over their two children, ages 5 and 3. Giersch, with whom Rutherford shares 50/50 custody, currently has the children with him in France, where he is living. Rutherford wants them back on U.S. soil, but Gierch cannot bring them back to the U.S., as he is a German citizen and his visa has been revoked.

The judge ruled that Rutherford had a flexible schedule and a working visa, so she could go to France to see her children at will, while Gierch is stuck where he is.

Rutherford has stated that she feels she cannot spend any meaningful time with the children in light of the extensive travel commitments that would be involved. She plans to appeal the ruling.

Meanwhile, Halle Berry and her ex, Gabriel Aubry are still battling over custody of their 4-year-old daughter. Berry has filed a request in family court; she wants to relocate to Paris with her child, but Aubrey lives in the U.S. and does not want to give up his custody.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

The decision to divorce a spouse is often just the first step in a complicated, multi-step process. You will need to decide everything from property allocation to custody issues, visitation, alimony, and child support. Speak with an experienced Denver divorce lawyer prior to even approaching either divorce or child custody changes with anyone. Part of knowing how to approach a charged situation and potentially difficult conversation where your emotions are at stake is to speak with an informed, objective outsider, to clarify what you want, what you feel you can compromise, and what steps will need to be taken. Work with an experienced attorney with a solid background in family and divorce law to help place you in the best position to ensure your interests are protected.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

As vague a notion as this may seem, being a “no fault state” does confer certain advantages in terms of maintaining one’s privacy and other issues that might arise between you and your spouse should your divorce go to court. These might include traditional precipitators of divorce such as adultery, abandonment, mental cruelty and alcoholism, which are unlikely to be aired out as the more pressing matters of child custody and property are addressed.

That said, there are still circumstances when “for cause” issues can become grounds for a legal dissolution of a marriage, which will necessarily have to be explored on the floor of the court. Chief among these are physical and verbal abuse, according to a recent study conducted by custom research firm GFK Roper. Of the 1,500 men and women polled, 36 percent cited domestic violence as the main cause for their divorce. Following in no particular order were financial woes, sexual issues, philosophical differences in child-rearing, religious issues and plain old boredom. Of course, as theologian Paul Tillich observed, “Boredom is rage spread thin.”

Contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney and family lawyer at visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Separation agreements are documents enshrining what a married couple agrees to ‘prior’ to leaving a relationship. They are a step in the direction of divorce, before a divorce is filed. It often gives the couple a chance to reconcile if the two are willing to try. For these agreements to be considered legal, they must be signed and notarized, and entered into voluntarily with the full knowledge and consent of both parties. It is best to have an agreement drafted by a family law attorney to avoid unnecesary complications.

If the married couple signing the separation agreement follow through with parting way, they may enter into a contested, or an uncontested divorce. Contested divorces are typically contentious, and may end up costing both spouses thousands of dollars. Contested divorces generally stem from one spouse not wanting a divorce or possibly wanting assets or custody rights the other party is un willing to grant them.

Uncontested divorces occur between to amicable individuals who are generally in agreement about the discontinuation of their relationship. With calmer minds, they tend to work out the details and come up with agreement on property division, maintenance and child visitation and custody. Uncontested divorces are generally less stressful and more affordable. Having an agreed upon separation contract often helps reduce the cost of a divorce.

The term legal separation is often confused with a separation agreement. A separation agreement does not constitute a legal separation. In fact, ‘legal separation’ is a term that refers to the ‘standing’ of a married couple.

A ‘separation agreement’ is a contract between the spouses outlining their mutual agreement to part ways at some point in time. Separation agreements have many advantages, such as a quicker divorce and the opportunity to proceed with an uncontested divorce, which saves both parties a lot of money, time, stress and anxiety

In many jurisdictions, the parties must also be physically separated before a legal separation is recognized. However, there are some states that allow couples to stay together during the separation period, which is called cohabitation. Depending on the state you live in, you may only need a physical separation to begin a legal separation. In other locations, you will need to file documents with the court. It is best to consult with an experienced attorney.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.
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Kids need structure and stability to know that their safety and daily routines will be cared for. Kids benefit to be told that even though mom and dad live separately, there will always be one of their parents to help with school, activities and any concerns. Set aside some time to let your children know that if they are sad, angry, or frustrated, they can come to you for help.
It can be very difficult after a divorce to be civil with your ex. But setting a positive example in front of the kids will go a long way to keeping the kids in a good mindset.

“At first, the parents can be overly hostile or overly friendly to each other,” said author Judy Osborne in Wisdom for Separated Parents. “Neither position holds for the long run. But as parents meet for teacher conferences, school plays, and baseball games, a benign energy can grow to replace the old anger, hurt and sadness. This new, less edgy, and, perhaps, more positive tone can be powerfully healing for adults and their children.”

In Colorado, it’s important to take certain steps to ensure the child-parent relationship is preserved. If one spouse leaves the marital home before the divorce is finalized, they will still want to be active in the kids’ lives so that their actions are not deemed abandonment. The parent who leaves should still do their part to financially support the kids and set parenting time to be actively involved in the kids’ lives.

When it comes time for the Colorado courts to approve parenting time and child support, a good history of assisting the kids will help each parent get a fair and equitable division of parental rights and responsibilities. Otherwise, even though Colorado is a no-fault divorce state, the failure to carry out parental duties can be devastating in the divorce proceedings.

Denver divorce attorney Bill Thode is experienced in helping individuals and families with all their divorce needs, including what to tell the kids during this tough time. Beyond divorce matters, Thode Law Firm, P.C. counsels on child custody and support, parenting time, spousal alimony, and property division. He also has contacts to family therapists should that be needed.

For more information:
www.thodelaw.com
303-330-0425
201 Steele Street, Suite 201
Denver, CO 80206

The beauty of a prenup is that it puts the terms of the marriage in the hands of the two individuals, not the court system or the state. It is a couples’ unique moment to know what each expects of the other in advance so they have a clear understanding of what will happen with debts, assets and property.

For many partners who are remarrying or getting married at an older age, it is important to know that you do not have to take on debts, child support, or any other financial obligations the other partner has. This can be vital should a divorce occur in the future, as you could be held liable for these debts unless they are clearly defined in the prenup.

Also, if one individual owns a family business, the prenup will spell out who gets control of it should death or divorce occur. Some people will want to create a buy-sell agreement so that other blood relatives would have the ability to buy out the divorcing spouse and any of their heirs.

In the new book “Spousonomics: Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes”, the authors show how common economic theories can “minimize conflict and maximize returns on life’s biggest investment – your marriage.” A prenup brings financial conversations out in the open early on and will actually solidify what each expects of the marriage and their plan for success.

The authors of the book also write about the pitfalls of being overconfident. “Overconfidence is what causes CEOs of major corporations – think Merrill Lynch and Lehman Brothers – to blow up their firms,” the two authors say. “They didn’t plan for the worst because they thought they were too smart to drive their banks into the ground. Similarly, overconfidence drives couples to assume they will be together forever and then fail to take into account how much strain certain events might put on their relationship.”

So while a couple might not think they need a prenup, the bottom line is that it can save couples pain, money, and perhaps even the understanding of their new future together. Prenups should involve legal counsel, and each partner should have a separate prenuptial attorney to give each person peace of mind that their interests and rights are upheld. In Colorado, hiring an attorney will ensure that the prenup includes important state statutes and will be valid in court.

The Thode Law Firm, P.C. has represented hundreds of clients in the Denver metropolitan area since 1997. As the lead Colorado prenuptial attorney, Bill Thode counsels fiancés on their wishes and unique circumstances to create a thorough, enforceable prenuptial agreement. He also is experienced in postnuptial agreements and family law matters.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

The new rule not only increases the amount of time that a trial court retains jurisdiction over domestic relations cases, but also institutes new case management procedures and mandatory affirmative disclosure duties.

“The new disclosure requirements shift the responsibility for omissions or misstatements from the party receiving the documents to the party submitting them,” according to the Colorado Supreme Court. “This provision embraces the principle that spouses are in a fiduciary relationship with each other.”

Denver family lawyer Bill Thode deals with many contested divorces and child custody cases.

“Unfortunately, some clients come to me with horror stories about how their ex-spouse misstated or omitted crucial facts,” said Thode, who has helped hundreds of clients in divorce and child custody proceedings. “This rule enables individuals to reopen their case for up to five years when they discover material omissions or misstatements by their former spouse or parent of their child.”

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

When parents agree on a reasonable parenting plan, children will be better off and the court will usually approve the agreement, said attorney Bill Thode, of Thode Law, P.C. in Denver, Colorado.

If parenting time is being ignored or abused, a parent will want to immediately start to document the wrongdoing. Document any time that is being violated, including how many hours, days or weekends are being compromised. If there are other witnesses, such as a teacher or friend’s parents, get their contact information or direct account of what occurred. If an ex is keeping the children away and surrounding them with questionable people during that time, keep records of what is happening. A parent should take notes regarding everything he or she does for the children when they are under his or her control. Every aspect of support that is provided to the children is important, so make note of all financial, educational, and emotional support you provide.

A Colorado child custody attorney will help a parent show the court how his or her parenting rights are being violated. The court may order the following relief:

– Modification of the original parenting agreement
– Additional parenting time to make up missed time to be honored within six months of the court order
– Fines, jail time, or both
– Attorney fees and court costs paid by the offender

“Highly-contested disputes relating to child custody or divorce sometimes bring retribution,” Thode said. “Parents should not lose focus and try to prevent their child from visiting the other parent. Hurting the other parent will not help your child in the long run.”

Two parents battling with each other cause no one to win. Divorce does end the marriage, but the parenting role continues. Both parents must cooperate to raise the child instead of simply being vindictive toward each other.

The Thode Law Firm has helped hundred of clients since 1997. As Denver’s premier family law firm, they specialize in contested child custody and divorce cases as well as mediation, relocation, child removal, and pre and postnuptial agreements.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Yet these services, which are almost always operated by individuals who are not licensed to practice law, are scams or apply a one-size-fits-all approach that is not appropriate. There is no watchdog organization to monitor their practices and many of the services have outdated, overly simplistic forms. Without an attorney’s advice, couples who use these services inevitably fail to address critical issues. Months or even years after the divorce, the same individuals must hire an attorney to fix a substandard separation agreements and parenting plans, for example.

Statistics show that the costs of fixing threadbare divorce decrees and parenting agreements are many times the cost of the document preparation service.

Even spouses in uncontested divorce need legal counsel. Filing clerks are not allowed to tell individuals how they should fill out the paperwork, or what errors their paperwork contains. The standard state forms also do not provide any information about each party’s legal rights or options. Only a lawyer can provide that kind of detailed information.

The Thode Law Firm, P.C., which has represented hundreds of clients in the Denver metropolitan area since 1997, has seen its share of bad divorces due to divorce prep services and kits. “In many cases, battles over child support, custody and visitation, maintenance, and other issues continue long after the divorce decree is issued,” said attorney William Thode. “The vast majority of these problems are the result of not thinking things through or agreements that don’t exactly say what the parties think they say.”

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Needless to say, their situation put everyone in an awkward spot. Although a divorce makes many people desire a new beginning, a parent must tread carefully when dating before a divorce is finalized and be mindful of how children can be affected even after the divorce decree is signed.

Do not make these mistakes just for love when a new person starts to pull at your heartstrings:

1)     Whom you date can impact child custody decisions. In the court’s eyes, the child’s best interests are the top priority. Whom you are dating and what behavior you are exhibiting in front of your child can make you and your home environment appear less stable.

2)     Overall, dating before the divorce is final or rushing into a new relationship the minute it is over can cause emotional complications. You need to understand what went wrong with the marriage and how to not fall into another bad relationship. Your child can also get confused and emotional about the new person in your life. Oftentimes, it is just better to take a breather from intense relationships.

An experienced divorce attorney will help you understand how your dating life and home environment will affect the outcome of the divorce. If you are considering a divorce in Denver, hire the Thode Law Firm to get the legal assistance you deserve.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

Virtual visitation can be a good tool to make it easier for divorced parents to be a part of their children’s lives. Skype, online games and other webcam programs are affordable and more interactive than just chatting on the telephone. While virtual visitation is not the substitute for in-person parenting or even the best way to get a relocation case won, it can be a great tool to deepen a child’s relationship to their other parent.

In this economy, outside influences such as a foreclosure, job relocation, physical illness, or out-of-state family members can force the need for a relocation. This is what occurred in Baker v. Baker.

“If you are involved in a custody dispute, you need a good family law attorney to help you determine if virtual visitation could be a winning strategy for the entire family,” said Bill Thode, of the Denver, Colo. Thode Law Firm. “A family law attorney will let you know your parental rights and legal options to stay in contact with your children.”

The key to defining virtual visitation rights in a divorce decree is including the name of the program name and any hardware, software and Internet connections that could be required. Also, it will have to list who will pay for the Internet service and equipment and what days and times these visits will happen.

“Relocations will have a big impact on children,” Thode said. “So the judge will want to know why the new location is a better fit for the child’s education, the quality of each parent’s relationship to the child and many other factors in the child’s best interest.”

And believe it or not, the majority parent does not often have an advantage when needing to relocate a child. Resolving child custody disputes and relocation matters ultimately depends on the parents’ ability to put their child’s interest before their own.

The Thode Law Firm is one of Denver’s premier family law firms and has represented hundreds of clients for more than a decade. Its experienced attorneys focus on divorce, child custody disputes, conflicts over parenting time and decision-making authority, maintenance/alimony disputes, child support actions, and child removal cases.

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.

For a divorce and child custody agreement to be a mutually beneficial process, it is best to consult a family law attorney early on to expedite the process with a soon-to-be ex and navigate the court system in the most proactive way.

“We strive to help individuals win an early settlement, but when that cannot happen, we will effectively represent family law cases in court,” said attorney Bill Thode of the Denver-based Thode Law Firm.

In a divorce, child custody, assets and property disputes can become extremely stressful topics, and if one spouse owns a business it can even become more complex. If one parent has more assets or earns more on the job, more research will need to be done to determine what is fair and equitable for all parties.

A good attorney will help each parent quantify how the children have been provided for financially, emotionally and physically by each spouse, and when possible create a marital settlement plan that defines custody and visitation rights.

The Thode Law Firm is one of Denver’s premier family law firms and has represented hundreds of clients since 1997 regarding divorce, child custody disputes, conflicts over parenting time and decision making authority, maintenance/alimony disputes, child support actions, child removal cases and a variety of other cases.

“Every case and individual is unique, but every spouse deserves to be confident that our legal expertise will leave you confident to begin the next chapter of your life in a positive way,” said Thode, who is also an active member of the Colorado Bar Association, the Denver Bar Association, the CBA Family Law Section, and Colorado Lawyers for the Arts. “After we evaluate your situation and answer all your questions, we’ll create a strategy that we want your input and approval on. Use January as a stepping stone to a better you.”

To contact Bill Thode, a Denver divorce lawyer, Denver child custody attorney, or family lawyer, visit http://www.thodelaw.com or call (303) 330-0425.