It’s normal to feel some guilt about your divorce when you have children in the mix. So states Christina Pesoli, Founder “Emotional Hard Body Divorce Boot Camp” has put together some tips to help with your guilt, while not becoming a pushover for your children.
Make things feel homey. Pelosi suggests you make the home you share with your children as cozy as possible. Your ex took the couch? Get another one, even if it’s second-hand, or put some big chairs in its place. But try to not move things around too much – you want to fill that gaping hole where the couch used to be without turning the entire house upside down. And if are the one who moved out, spend time to create a welcoming environment for you children. Unpack. Decorate. Make their new home a home for your children, too, while they are there.
Support Your Kid’s Other Parent. Yes, you don’t want your ex to be in your life any longer, but that person is still your child’s other parent. Regardless of how you feel about your ex acted as a spouse, or acts as an ex-spouse, if they are an attentive parent, good for them. Your child needs as much high-quality parenting as they can get.
Keep Your Boundaries. Sometimes, single parents inadvertently begin to look at their kids as confidants. Don’t. Your children are not counselors, or very short adult friends. They do not need to know about your loneliness, your dating woes, or your financial concerns. Speak to actual adults if you need a shoulder for support. Your children will only become anxious and confused if they have to play the role of emotional co-adult and your child.