What it means to go it alone

Choosing to ‘do your own thing’ during divorce mediation may seem like the civilized thing to do, but it can be quite the opposite if you aren’t careful. When things start out, you may feel you’re in control and know your spouse better than anyone else, which is why you’re best qualified to handle the mediation. While that may be true, there are times when an objective third party helps. While a divorce mediation specialist is all that, they don’t have your interests as their only focus – they are equally invested in the outcome for your spouse. A divorce attorney on the other hand, has one goal – getting the best deal for you.

Negotiating muscle power

Divorce mediation requires a lot of back and forth between both parties, and sometimes contentious issues may reach a stalemate. A good divorce attorney may be more skilled at negotiating a better deal for you and getting the buy-in of your soon to be ex as well, a step critical to the mediation process which requires a ‘mutually agreeable’ outcome.

Why legal help matters

When a divorce lawyer comes on board during the mediation, quite often, they may uncover common issues that may have slipped through the cracks. having worked on hundreds of cases they are aware of potential problem areas that may not even have crossed your mind. Little issues that could flare up like details of what happens if one parent gets a new job or relocates to a different state in the future.  They can also offer insight on legal ramifications or possible outcomes, should a specific issue be taken to court.

A divorce lawyer is well trained in the area of documentation and paperwork related to divorce, as well as the intricacies of divorce law. Even of you and your spouse are able to talk your way to an acceptable solution, you may not have the legal expertise to create a document that holds in court. A legal expert will find the flaws or loopholes if any, and ensure the final agreement is watertight. A divorce mediation specialist can take you towards that solution and help you find that common ground, but ultimately, you will need to consult a lawyer to get things in order and to be done with your divorce as swiftly as possible.

Ideally, reach out to a reviewing or consulting divorce attorney with a background in mediation to be able to arrive at the most optimal solution that’s also valid and covers all bases.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

All mediators are not the same

Different mediators may have different styles. There might be differences in how they conduct a session. You may not feel as comfortable with any mediator, and this is why it is advisable to meet and talk to different mediators first, and then choose the person you want to oversee your sessions according to how you feel about them.

You may still need an attorney after the mediation process is over

Even after you have reached a settlement, you may still need to hire a lawyer who can help you complete the divorce procedures through the legal system. Sometimes it is also wise to talk to your attorneys before making your divorce agreement official.

There are couples who seek mediators and tell them that they have already reached an agreement and would like to have them settled. These couples should just skip the mediation process altogether and go ahead with hiring an attorney to guide them with their settlement.

Mediators help in resolving any disputes during the session, but if a couple has already come to a mutual agreement then they don’t need to waste their money on divorce mediation and simply head to the court. If the mediator is also an attorney, he can help the participating couple with filling out the court documents.

Mediation can be less expensive

The attorney’s role in mediation is very limited, and hence their charges are also less when compared to litigation. Mediation can take around $7000 on an average, whereas battling it out in court may cost you anything from $20,000 to $35,000 or even more.

Your divorce mediation will remain confidential

Whatever happens during the session remains only between the mediator and the parties involved. Any sensitive information likely to be shared during the few hours of discussion, are never disclosed to anyone outside of the those included in the session. There are confidentiality agreements that one has to sign before taking part in this.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

What does a temporary restraining order achieve?

For a victim of domestic abuse, the temporary restraining order can mean the difference between life and death. In spite of filing for a divorce,  the abusive spouse may not let up on the harassment of their soon to be ex. In fact, the very act of serving divorce papers to the abusive party may trigger another fit of rage. And there’s nothing more dangerous than a spurned lover, or in this case – spouse.

Physical abuse or emotional abuse and the TRO

A TRO applies not just to cases involving physical abuse, but also for emotional or mental abuse. Courts recognize that this can be just as damaging, and is usually sympathetic, especially when there are children involved. While it may be easier to prove instances of physical abuse by having a medical doctor or neighbor provide testimony or providing photographic evidence, you can have a similar testimony also provided by similar upstanding community members that know you and your spouse well and may have witnessed such instances of mental or emotional abuse.

How do you get a temporary restraining order?

To get a TRO, you will need to file a motion in court for approval by a judge. Once he or she signs off on the temporary restraining order, you are protected by law from being approached by your abusive partner. A TRO goes by various names including an order of protection, or an injunction.

It helps you by forcing your abusive ex to stay away from you once they are notified of the TRO. Usually, this will mean they are excluded from contacting you, your kids and other members of your immediate family, or otherwise as dictated by the terms of the TRO. It will also list out locations that are deemed taboo for the person against whom the TRO is issued. This may include your home, your place of work, the kids schools, your car, the day care facility your kids go to and so on. Violation of such an order can result in the abuser being put behind bars, should you approach the court or the cops to enforce the TRO.  Remember, if you are a victim of abuse in your marriage, you don’t necessarily have to have a separate domestic violence case in court to get a TRO.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Alternative to court trial

While there are some ways in which collaborative divorces and divorce mediation are starkly different, there are a few basics which remains the same in both cases. For one thing, they offer an alternative to a long drawn out and often expensive and messy battle in divorce court. Both offer a greater measure of control to you and your ex and don’t leave things to the discretion of a third party – the judge and your attorneys. However, there are some differences that could make one preferable over the other for you.

If the mediation or collaboration doesn’t work

In the event a divorce mediation doesn’t work out, you simply take your case to court to work it out before a judge. Your attorney presents your case and is already well-versed with the details so will be better equipped to represent you. However, if a collaborative divorce process falls through, your attorney is bound by a ‘no-court’ agreement. This is a document signed by you and your attorney and your spouse and theirs, stipulating that if the case heads to court, they must necessarily withdraw as your attorney. You will then both need to hire new lawyers who will want to do their own research ground up, resulting in some additional expenses and time.

Who’s involved?

In the case of a divorce mediation, an independent neutral third party is brought in to mediate. The operative being ‘neutral’. In other words, neither of your divorce attorneys can mediate. Instead, you and your spouse meet with the mediator (and attorneys when required), to work through your differences in a neutral environment. A mediator does not push you towards a settlement or agreement, but simply helps diffuse the situation and encourages conversation and conflict resolution so critical things like custody, alimony and division of assets can be worked out.

In the case of a collaborative divorce, both spouses and their respective divorce attorneys work together to arrive at a mutually acceptable solution through four-way meetings. The benefit here is you have legal counsel to support you throughout. It is a more effective and less expensive alternative to litigation but gives room for lawyers to negotiate and present arguments for you.

Confidentiality issues

In many states, the discussions during divorce mediation are protected by mediation confidentiality laws. Collaborative divorce discussion are typically not. You can however, overcome this hurdle by getting everyone to sign confidentiality agreements before you begin the collaborative process.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Divorce mediators just want to end the mediation fast

While it might seem like the primary goal of a mediator is to simply close out the discussion and help you arrive at a seemingly acceptable solution fast, the reality is that a mediator simply helps you to discuss your issues more amicably so that your chances of closing the matter are better. That could take just as long as any other process, it is just that a mediator gives you a platform that’s neutral where you and your spouse feel like you are on equal footing and have a voice.

Mediation is not an option for an estranged couple

While it is true that mediation will not be easy for a estranged couple, it is certainly not impossible. Divorce mediators are specially trained professionals whose very skill is to get couples who are not willing to talk to one another, to open up about their issues and work together towards a settlement or agreement that is acceptable. Mediation is actually a huge help and bridges the gap for couples who find themselves unable to speak to each other, and gets them to open up and engage in dialogue.

A court settled divorce may be more ‘fair’

In fact, both parties have a better chance of actually getting their point across in front of the mediator than they would in court where everything is left to the discretion of the judge and your attorney’s abilities. The judge will have to make their ruling based on the facts presented and the strength of the argument and evidence and testimony presented before them in family court. This may not swing in your favor, and may sometimes not even be ideal for both of you. A divorce mediation may end up giving you a more ‘fair’ closure to your divorce because it is something you will be convinced of, or will negotiate during the mediation.

A mediator is just going to try and save the marriage

A divorce mediator, even with a background in counseling, is not there to save your marriage. Mediators work with the assumption that you have done what you can and have approached them to help with the process of moving on. Their focus will be on helping you and your spouse come to some decisions on finances, children and other critical aspects of the divorce, so that you may get on with your life after divorce.

The court is the best place to win a child custody battle if your case is strong

No matter how strong or watertight your case might seem, a skillful divorce attorney could make an equally compelling case for your spouse to get sole custody. Because a court based decision is by its very nature confrontational it could even push an otherwise neutral spouse into getting aggressive and unreasonable. To make matters worse, your children may have to witness all this unpleasantness or even be called to give their testimony or be subjected to questioning as part of the court’s process. Instead, divorce mediation can help you and your partner come up with a parenting plan that is best for the kids and doesn’t leave either of you out in the cold.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Articulating what you both think your child’s abilities and needs are

The best place to start is to be clear that you both agree on what the child can and cannot do for themselves and the degree of assistance or care they will need. This will cover the additional help needed at home, school or with counselors.

Choosing who the child will live with

Deciding on who gets custody of the child, and whether it will be sole custody or joint custody, are hard decisions to make even with kids who don’t have special needs. When you factor in the unique needs of a special needs child, this decision becomes even more critical to the well being of the child. it will be important to put your child first when you decide on where he or she will stay. For a child with autism for instance, pulling them out of a familiar environment will make an already difficult situation harder. Try and work it out so that the parent who will be responsible for the child stays on in the family home. Don’t shift neighborhoods if you can avoid it, so they continue going to the same school and are not uprooted from a familiar social circle.

Working out a plan for adulthood

With special needs kids, the need for parental support may last well into their adult years. Provisions must be made for the emotional and financial well being of the child and decisions made on what happens once the child becomes an adult. Insurance plans may also be needed to offer them additional protection in the event of the death of the primary caregiving parent.

Alimony, child support, and public benefits

While working out alimony and child support, keep in mind that your child may need financial support even as an adult, in some cases this is a lifelong need. You will also have costs related to additional care, counseling or special medical treatment. However, you may also be eligible for public benefits.

Estate planning

Work through what happens in the event you or your ex pass away.  How will the estate be handled? Will there be someone appointed to oversee managing the estate? Work out these details to ensure you secure future for your child who may need to live off their inheritance from you and your ex. Detail what happens should either of you remarry and have kids.

Wherever possible try and consult with a divorce attorney familiar with special needs cases. They will be able to guide you on the role of Medicaid or SSI, special needs trusts and other benefits that apply to your situation, to ensure the best outcome for you, your spouse and your special needs child.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

What is an automatic restraining order?

This kind of restraining order is one that comes automatically into force once divorce papers are filed and served to the other partner. The scope of this kind of order limits certain types of actions from being taken after the divorce is initiated and is prevalent in some states and doesn’t exist at all in others.

Automatic restraining orders apply to everyone

The terms apply to both the spouses, regardless of which of them filed for the divorce, provided they are in a state that has the system of applying these restraining orders automatically to all divorces.

Specifically, such restraining orders relate to things like putting liens against marital property, modifying insurance beneficiaries, sale of property, as well as withdrawal of funds from bank accounts.

How Automatic restraining orders impact child custody

If there are children involved, then the scope of the order also typically covers the process to be followed if a child is to be taken out of state during the divorce process – usually requiring the written consent of the other parent.  This is done to prevent foul play or one parent taking the child away during the interim to potentially build a stronger case for their need to get full custody once the divorce is final. This way, a child still has access to both parents and the flight risk is also minimized.

Modifying an automatic restraining order

Even if you are in a state that has an automatic restraining order you can approach the court to make a change if needed, depending on the situation. For instance, if there is a dire need to make the sale of marital property in the interim for either or both of the spouses to eke out a living, or if one parent is unable to get hold of the other to sign off on approval to take the child out of state, the court can intervene and override the automatic restraining order.

Temporary restraining orders or permanent?

It is important to note that automatic restraining orders cease to be valid once the divorce is finalized. If some aspects of the restraining order need to be carried forward after the divorce, these will need to be explicitly mentioned in the final divorce agreement. Because automatic restraining orders are linked to certain stages of the divorce process, they end when the divorce ends. In that sense, they are not unlike a temporary restraining order. Just remember to be sure you have all your bases covered when the divorce does finally come through.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Lay ground rules

Use your first few sessions to work out the details of how you will manage things durign the divorce process itself. Decide on who will take care of various expenses on running the home and servicing any shared marital debt during this time. Make this official by drawing up an agreement that holds for the duration of the mediation or until the divorce is final. That way you hold them to their word with the law on your side. If you have children, then decide on a temporary parenting plan and visitation schedule as well.

Meet only during mediation

Avoid any kind of contact with your spouse other than during mediation. In the neutral environment of the mediation, you will have the safety of another adult present to prevent things from getting out of hand. It will also ensure you are protected by confidentiality law that applies to the mediation process. In case you have children together and need to interact, keep that to the bare minimum. Do not engage in discussions outside of the divorce mediation meetings. Ensure any communication with a difficult spouse is only done in writing to avoid any misrepresentation of facts later. Consult your divorce attorney before putting anything down on paper or on an email.

Take a deep breath and avoid direct confrontation

A difficult spouse knows exactly what pushes your buttons and then goes ahead and does just that. Avoiding falling into their trap, even if it means holding back a bit. Losing your cool will be detrimental to the divorce process and could cause the mediation to fall through or might see you making some rash decisions in the heat of the moment to get them off your back. It may be exactly what your estranged spouse wants and you will be walking right into their carefully laid trap.  As hard as it may be, you will need to be the calm one in all of this. Remember, they may be acting up because they feel threatened and insecure. So stay confident and use the help of your divorce lawyer and work with the mediation expert to get through to a solution that’s acceptable.

Ask your mediator for a caucus 

If things get especially heated or you are failing to make any progress on a particular issue, the mediator can have separate private discussions with each of you to move things along. This can help if your spouse is refusing the budge on an issue, and you are firm on your stance too.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The price of going to court

If you go the route of a trial to decide the outcome of issues related to our divorce, whether it is a child custody battle, alimony discussions, or the divisions of marital assets and debt, things can get expensive. Unlike a collaborative divorce or a divorce settled via mediation, a divorce that is presented in court before a judge needs to run a longer course. Your divorce attorneys will need to spend considerable time building a case for you, gathering witnesses, testimony and more, and that’s an expense you will have to bear.

Running the course

During the divorce process, there are some stages that have very clear guidelines on a last date by which a certain document or response must be given. Your attorney must track this and rush to ensure everything is in order by the date given. This might mean prioritizing your requirements over others and also putting in a fair bit of legwork to get things done. And that’s what you need to pay for. It is worth it to ensure you meet deadlines and don’t let tardiness work as a negative against you if the case goes to trial.

Fighting your spouse

Many divorces end up being very expensive simply because of the number of hours, weeks and months spent with two attorneys facing off to get their client the best deal possible. Fighting your spouse through the legal system is very expensive and in many cases, avoidable.

Conflict resolution

Divorce attorneys often end up acting as facilitators for their clients. If you rely entirely on them to iron out every single detail of your divorce it is going to cost you. Remember, your attorney will bill you on the time they are spending on your divorce. It doesn’t matter whether the scope of discussions that day were on insignificant details or big ones. So pick when and where you do need them involved, and figure out if some areas can be settled between you and your spouse.  This is actually an area where there could some avoidable expenses during divorce, so here are some pointers to see if you could cut the billable hours.

• Tackle smaller issues independently: While it may feel better to have a lawyer around, if you and your soon-to-be-ex are on talking terms, try and resolve the less contentious issues on your own or have preliminary discussions. This will help save precious attorney hours to deal with more pressing issues, and save you some money.
• Deal with the contested aspects: If you have a preliminary discussion with your spouse on areas where you have differing views, you will be able to better brief your attorney as well. It will give you a good sense of where your spouse stands on a certain issue and help arm them better before you schedule you a four-way meeting or before you head into mediation.
• Use mediation: Divorce mediation can help you resolve your issues out of court and has the distinct advantage of allowing you to have greater control on the final outcome. By pre-empting the need to go to court, you potentially save thousands.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Time taken for pre-divorce spousal support judgments vs. modifications

Spousal support modification needs you to go through a similar set of processes and steps as the procedure followed for the initial support order/judgment during the divorce. And the reason behind the need to follow the same procedure, is that by suggesting there is a need for changes to the judgment already in place, you or your ex believe that something has changed. In other words, the financial situation or circumstances have deviated quite drastically from the time the divorce came through. Which means that you will need provide proof of the new economic situation on either side, the need for the change, and urgency for such a change.

Unlike the original process which may have taken anywhere from six months to a year, the modification can be a little quicker in some cases. Especially if there was a clause in the original order that required say ‘$1000 to be paid with a review in 5 years’, then the process is smoother and therefore, faster.

Why it takes time

A spousal support modification doesn’t happen overnight. Hard though it might seem, having jumped through hoops the first time around, you can bypass any of the steps for the change. In fact, you will need to ensure you provide adequate cause for modification of the terms, a ‘material change in circumstances’. Even if the initial agreement did not prevent modifications, a judge may show some reluctance to make a change if the spousal support payments had bearing on how the other aspects of the agreement were settled.

In addition, if your ex disputes their income status or expenses, or contests the change, you will need to first make a case or settle the dispute or let a judge decide as your attorneys battle it out in court.

Changing spousal support in emergencies

There are two scenarios where the spousal support modifications may need to be dealt with more urgently. If you are in a tight spot, having lost your job and have alimony payments that are due shortly, be sure to raise this with your attorney so that they do not accumulate as huge arrears due to your ex when you do get a job. If you are the spouse receiving the support, and have a huge change in your situation, medical emergencies or other reasons for needing a fast change to the amount you get, again, you will need to be sure to flag this off upfront, although courts often find financial issues to be non-emergencies if an ex parte request for relief is sought.  Be sure to consult your divorce attorney to fully understand your options.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

In the case of divorce, there are various types of settlements possible, however, the more the options, the more confusing it could get. For instance there is a difference between divorce litigation and divorce mediation. Here are some of the major differences that could make your life easier.

Cost-effectiveness

In divorce litigation, the average cost could run up to anywhere between $10,000-25,000+.  However, the mediation oost is a fraction of that amount in most cases.

Convenience for the kids

In the case of litigation, the courts will probably appoint a court lawyer to represent the children as well. This could be a harrowing ordeal for the children who may be pulled into the case unwillingly, which could hamper their early child development and growth. In the case of a divorce mediation, the trouble is minimal, and everything could be settled outside of court without weighing down on the kids as much.

The decision

In a divorce litigation, due to the incompatibility of the two parties, the court and the judge would have the final say in the judgement as to what the final settlement is, however, in the case of a divorce mediation, the two parties can have an amiable and consensual settlement over any finances or any other disparity that may arise.

Privacy

When it comes to a divorce litigation, the matter of privacy is always an issue. If any divorce litigation is filed, it is an official case, and every single detail of the case is made public knowledge that is very easily accessible. However, when it comes to divorce mediation, the case is kept behind closed doors, and none of the differences that arise due to any disputes need to be made public.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

First try mediation

Use courts as your option of last resort. Unlike the divorce mediation process where you have a measure of control on the way things go, and the final outcome, in courts it works a little differently. Once a divorce case reaches a court, it is up to the divorce attorneys to negotiate on your behalf and make a strong case for you on whatever the issues under debate are. When it comes to things like child custody, spousal support or child support, leaving it to the courts may not always go in your favor even if it seems like you have water tight case.

Understanding the process

To kick off the process, you will need to file divorce papers at the court. The Petitioner will then need to ‘serve’ the papers, usually at home. Discovery requests and temporary spousal support or child support requests as well as the date on which the court will hear the initial motion, as well a deposition notice might be sent. Be sure to meet these deadlines because not showing up or not responding will be seen by the court as your ‘admitting’ to whatever is under question.

You may be called on for a deposition under oath in the presence of a court reporter. Close friends and family as well as neighbors may also be called upon. In addition, the court will factor in expert testimony. For instance, the judge may consider views of an expert in deciding whether or not you are fit to look after your children.

Documentary evidence will play an important role. Financials of both parties, details of assets, children and other critical factors that could impact the terms of the final judgment will be reviewed.

Lastly, the ability of your attorney will again come into play on the actual day in court. Witnesses including expert witnesses and you and your spouse may be called to testify and submit to cross-examination. Both sides will present closing arguments that could again sway things.

It’s not just about the facts, but how they are presented

A judge tries to treat the individuals involved in the case as fairly as possible. This means things like equitably dividing the income. Besides the actual documentary evidence, there is a fair measure of skill needed by attorneys when presenting their case for you. It is about how well reality is presented to the judge to work in your favor.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Divorce petition

If a divorce petition must be filed, it must be done so by you or your spouse in the resident county of you or your spouse. The additional stipulation is to also have a minimum of six months of residency. There must be a domicile certificate that indicates that the plaintiffs are both residents and citizens of the area. A temporary restraining order could be filed if either of the party is not consenting with the general decorum and rules of consent.

Serving the petition

When a divorce petition is filed, it must also be served with due notice to the other party. If a petition is not acknowledged, and is not provided with enough notice period, it could be a null and void agreement. The reception must also be served with a witness for the notice. The minimum notice period for any petition may vary from region to region depending upon the state laws and regulations.

Temporary orders

After the petition is served and delivered, either parties may have a certain set of restraining demands allowing or disallowing the other party from certain privileges. This order is of temporary nature until the dispute is finally settled in court.

Discovery

Once the basic foundation is in place, it is important that both parties know their best interests and file for the pre-requisite documentation that will come in useful during the court case.

Divorce mediation

Even though an official petition is filed, the law allows both parties to try to work out situations amicably by finding common ground and reasonable settlements. This could be considered to be one last chance to settle matters out of court.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Retirement Savings

Worries about your 401(k) and other retirement plans become more immediate when you go through a divorce after retirement.  Be sure that your divorce attorney is familiar with working on QDROs or Qualified Domestic Relations Orders. This separate court order deals with how retirement benefits are split during a divorce.

Be sure to involve your retirement plan administrator so you fully understand the terms of your plan. Learn about tax penalties as well as breaks on these penalties, check on survivor benefits and whether those hold even post divorce, find out if you can take a hardship withdrawal when needed, whether you have entitlements on contributions made post divorce, and get clarity on other specific concerns you might have.  For civilians that had a spouse who served in the military, also find out if the military retirements benefits you had been getting when you were married will continue as part of the Survivor Benefit Plan.

Don’t forget to check if your spouse has loans on the 401(k) that will need to be paid off before the funds can be split.

Social Security

With things like Social Security, the rules are fairly clear cut, with details available on the SSA website. For marriages that are 10 years or over, where the surviving spouse is 60 plus, and the survivor’s own retirement benefits are lower than their spouse’s, they become eligible to receive survivor benefits of 100% against their ex’s Social Security benefit. While both partners are alive, for those aged 62 and up, you are eligible to get as much as 50% of your ex-spouse’s benefit without impacting their benefits.

Your Home

Divvying up proceeds from the sale of the family home or deciding which spouse gets to keep it can play out differently when you’re 50-plus. As you grow older, you get certain tax breaks from the government which could be a game changer. Exclusions from gains when you sell the home, as well as deductions on mortgage interest will also be critical factors when you’re a senior.

You also could potentially earn rental income by letting out your home, if you choose to move into a smaller place or a nursing home. After 62, you become eligible for a reverse mortgage that can get you an additional income stream. For anyone qualifying for receiving public benefits like Medicaid, having a primary residence works in your favor.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

The misconception

Even though litigation is arduous and time consuming, it could be useful in some scenarios. This is how and when a divorce litigation could be your best option. The biggest misunderstanding that people have is that all divorce litigation ends up in court with all affairs made public. However, there are many ways and means through which it could be more cordial. In the process of litigation itself, there always is an option of mediation which is a settlement option outside of court which is rarely explored due to the unilateral need for divorce. It is only when the need for a divorce is not mutual that the litigation is the last resort.

Ideally, if any divorce is mutual, over 90 percent of the cases always end up in settlements instead of litigation. As this phenomenon is growing, out of court settlements are more common and convenient. A collaborative or mediated divorce is always a desired procedure when there is no form or sort of violence or domestic threat involved. However, if there is a danger to one of the party’s life or the children’s life, an expedited divorce litigation would be the best manner to go about any of the problems.

The best time for litigation

In the case of domestic violence, child abuse or drug abuse, the marriage can become a very tough and trying endeavor. In this case it is always best to file for divorce petition and try to get into protective custody as soon as possible to avoid harm to you and your loved ones. In this case a divorce litigation is also handy because it allows you to get absolute jurisdiction of the child or children from an abusive parent. Even though litigation is a contentious process since it isn’t mutual you have to ensure to get yourself an expert negotiator as an attorney who would ensure your physical and financial safety.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Amicable solution

At California Divorce Mediators, it’s not about trying to hoodwink and cheat your spouse out of the relationship by trying to take or to lose the fair share of the deal.  It is important that you get your fair share of the bargain without needing to stress on the financial situation and emotional trauma. California Divorce Mediators are licensed professionals who will enable an amicable solution so that no party may be left feeling deceived, which could give rise to further lawsuits and disputes. This could traumatize the children.

Avoidance of court dealings

The dealings of the court could be brutally trying on the children and the family on a while. If any divorce case had to go to court, it could be time consuming, and will leave you stressed out over battles that could enervate your life. Instead of draining yourself with the troubles, it is better to mediate divorce cases by settling the financial aspects in a pleasant amicable manner outside of court. The point of mediation is to allow the best and sound advice and result without the iron fist of the court that could leave everyone unhappy. Studies have shown that divorce mediation is more effective wherein people are willing and more content with the end result. Additionally it also shows that people are more willing to give in to their financial settlements without any financial hassles.

Cost-effective

When it comes to divorce lawyers and mediators, especially in the State of California, it could be a tricky ordeal. The price of any lawyer must be taken into consideration. Divorce mediators allow you to have an amiable settlement without the added disadvantage of lawyer and court fees, which could allow you to comfortably transition from a troubled relation to a separate and cordial separation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

If you decide to sell

During the divorce process, the property is divided equitably, but more than anything else, it is usually the family home that becomes a central focus for both sides. Sometimes, both partners may want to relocate and ‘get away’ from the home, and are happy to sell. If there is a mortgage involved, then this is a way to do away with any shared debt obligations.

Just remember, all the money you get from the sale of your property isn’t yours to keep. Before it can be divided between you and your spouse, the broker fee will need to be paid, the mortgage cleared, any second mortgages if applicable as well, and lastly the capital gains tax if it applies.

If you are solely responsible for making mortgage payments after your separation, then the amount contributed during this period by you towards the joint equity, should also be considered. Equally, your partner could make a similar claim if they made the payments.

If you (or your spouse) decide to keep the home

In case both spouses agree that one of them, usually the parent with primary responsibility for the children, gets to keep the family home, the attorneys and the judge will factor this in when dividing the rest of the assets or working out spousal support or child support.

Even in this case, though no sale of property is involved, the property will be valued at a certain amount. If you and your spouse are unable to fix on a value, the court might itself appoint a real estate agent or a surveyor to assess the home. Once the market valuation is ascertained, it can be modified if there are major changes – both upward or downward – in prices in the market.

Community property vs. separate property

If the property was acquired during the course of your marriage or was registered in both your names, sale proceeds will be equitably divided. Even if the property is registered in just one person’s name, as a result of marital obligations, the other spouse will still have a right to their fair share of the proceeds. Property owned by one of the spouse’s before they got married, or received by way of inheritance, qualifies as separate property and will not be divided.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

The thing about a narcissist spouse that makes them one of the worst adversaries to have in a divorce case is that they can make use of any and all tricks in the book to get what they want.

How they can try to damage you

There are a number of different ways that a narcissist can damage you in a legal battle. Considering that they have the custody of the child momentarily they will make use of the child as a weapon to get leverage over you.  This could mean a number of things on their part. They can either interfere in your custody or visitation rights, deliberately use the child as a messenger against you or worst brainwash the child about how bad or irresponsible you have been.

Not only will that, sometimes a low-earning narcissistic spouse in a divorce case can level false allegations against you. While use of false allegations is looked down upon in the courts, to a narcissist nothing matters more than the feeling of victory they want to have over you.

How to deal with them

Here are some ways to deal with a narcissistic spouse:

·         Making Use of Contempt of Court

The use of contempt of court proceedings is often one of the last resorts for spouses. But if you are fed up of constant meddling in your custody rights and usurpation of any functions that you have been granted with respect to the child such as not letting you meet the child on you visitations can if proven in court be used against the other spouse and they fined and asked to comply.

·         Using the Attorney Fee and Sanctions

Any spouse that is behaving irrationally or causing undue delay or causing any hindrance can be penalized using this sanction in a divorce case under Family Code section 271.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

The importance of a family home cannot be understated. Financially, the property where you live is probably the largest asset. Emotionally, it is the place you started a family, the place you lived a significant portion of your life and so you will have a number of memories attached to it.

Dividing the Home

There are a number of different ways you can treat a house. If, however, neither of the spouses is willing to give up their interest in their family home, the courts will have to decide how to divide equity of the home between the two warring parties.

Determining Equity

For the family law courts to be able to divide the equity of the home between the two parties, it is important that there is an accurate figure of equity that has been determined. Equity of a home is found out by the formula of subtracting the debt of the home from the market value of the house and the costs that it would take to divest the home.

The value of the property will often also be disputed upon by both parties. In such a case, the parties need to agree to a joint professional real estate appraisal or get their own independent appraisal to determine what the market value of the property and thereby its equity is. At any point during this time, the parties can agree on the market value.

Dividing Equity

Once the amount of equity in a family home that has a mortgage loan has been determined, the equity for each spouse to receive can be determined. This process can be concluded before the actual time if the spouses agree to division of equity between themselves.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Question 1: Is It Better For Your Child To Stay In A Dysfunctional Strained Home Or In A Broken Home?

Once you have kids the ball game of a relationship changes. To both the parents the most important person in the relationship is then the child. So when you are deciding on whether or not to go for Orange County divorce mediation you should ask yourself what situation of the two mentioned above suits the child. Will they be better of living in a broken home with their parents divorced and separated or in a home where despite their parents being married there are fights, strains and arguments a plenty.

Question 2: Is There Someone Else In The Relationship?

This is one of the first things to ask. People who are dissatisfied from their marriage can sometimes venture into relationships outside of their marriage which could either be a flirtation, a romance, etc. The decisions you will take if you have already found someone special will be different to what you would if you were alone and only had the marriage partner you are dealing with to go back to.

Question 3: Do You Want A Better Marriage Or A Divorce?

It is important you realize that there is a difference between a better marriage and a divorce. Both of them are not similar in any way. A divorce is ending the relation and a better marriage is improving the marriage that you have. If you have an unhappy marriage, you can change that and work to make it better.  On the other hand, if you have an unsalvageable marriage, that is a prime example of a marriage that will lead to divorce.

Question 4: Have We Given It Our All?

Would you quit your job when you haven’t given your 100%? That would mean you are quitting wouldn’t it? That is the problem here. Once you have gotten an Orange County divorce there is very little you can do even if you regret it. The best way to avoid doing that is to give your all to salvaging your marriage. If, even if it doesn’t breathe a new life, you can then at the very least be content at having given the relation your all.

Whatever decision you take will largely depend on the amount of effort that you have put in. If you do end up deciding to divorce, it’s best that you choose a method that empowers you to solve your divorce yourself with your spouse. This can be best achieved through divorce mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

How are sole custody and joint custody different from one another?

This is a common question that nearly all clients will at some point ask their Orange County family law attorney. It is best that you do so before the custody hearing begin to ensure you go into the hearing with a clear head. As far as the difference goes, a sole custody is when one parent gets complete physical custody of the child as well as getting complete authority over the decision making of the child.

In joint custody both of these aspects will be divided. The physical custody will be divided and the important decisions will be taken by the spouses in consultation.

Is my going to court important?

The way case of child custody is approached is different from other issues of a divorce such as assets etc. Typically in these cases courts require the parents to go through mediation and then come to the court. However, coming to court is important since it highlights that you interested in the future of the child and you will need to do all you can to prove to the courts that you are good parent.

Can the order passed be changed later?

The child custody order that has been passed is important. But in no way is it the final authority until a formal judgment has been entered, at which point modification of custody will generally require a showing of a “substantial change of circumstances.” There are a number of situations where you can through your Orange County family lawyer file a request in court for the modification of the child support order. This can be done if circumstances have changed or new evidence have come to light which makes the other parent continuing as parent a violation of the rule of best interest of the child.

Are you experienced enough to handle this issue?

This is an important question to ask their family lawyer that is going to represent you in the child custody hearing. As mentioned above, this kind of a case works in a different way to other divorce related issues and the techniques used to win this case are different. The more experienced the lawyer in the field, the better the chance you have of getting the child custody you want.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Sometimes, Orange County divorce mediation cases that come into our offices include one spouse who is willing to end the relation, while the other one is not, which means that the other spouse is then dealing with an unwanted divorce.  So what do you do if you are getting into a divorce that you don’t want? Here is a low down.

Don’t Try Hanging On

If there one thing that you should realize is that if one of the spouse has decided to end a relation, it no point trying to hang on. Taking the decision to getting a divorce is not one that people take lightly and if your spouse has taken on, they must have deliberated. The first thing you can do to deal with an unwanted divorce is accepting the fact that your relationship has almost come to end. The faster you understand it the better it is for you.

Don’t Be An Ostrich

Accepting the fact that you are going to get divorced mentally without working for it practically will get you nowhere. Often spouses that don’t want to be a part of a divorce will start to act like ostriches. Trying to shy away from the situation and wanting to evade it as long as and as much as possible is not the way to go about things. Choosing to bury their head in the sand and ignore the details of their case is not a good thing, because it won’t change anything.

Often spouses like those individuals might initially refuse to go into divorce mediation, expecting that the divorce will be delayed, though this generally not what occurs.  If the spouse puts off mediation, the other spouse can easily go to court for a litigated divorce and then the divorce will be out of your hands.

You Shouldn’t Let Your Divorce Dictate Your Future

Yes, you didn’t want to go through a divorce.  Yes, it is likely to hurt when you leave a spouse that you wanted to spend your life with. But choosing divorce mediation is not the end of the road for your life. Learn from the experience and repair yourself for a long life ahead. Nothing starts or ends with a divorce except you relation and that shouldn’t change.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

What is a 730 child custody evaluation?  Essentially, it is a court-ordered child custody evaluation under California Evidence Code section 730 wherein a private forensic child custody evaluator conducts a detailed psychological evaluation of the parents and interviews with collateral third party witnesses (including teachers, physicians, therapists, family members, friends, etc.) which assists the court in determining the best interests of children with regard to disputed custody and visitation issues.  These evaluators are forensic psychologists generally chosen from a list of approved evaluators that each county in California has.  Although such evaluations are court-ordered, the court will not order one unless one of the parties have requested one, because such evaluations cost several thousand dollars and must be paid by one or both of the parties.

At the conclusion of 730 child custody evaluation, the evaluator prepares a very detailed report with his or her summations of the results of the psychological evaluation and interviews, and then generally provides recommendations regarding the contested custody and visitation issues.  Family law judges give considerable weight to the 730 evaluations, but they have the ultimate discretion to adopt some, all, or none of the recommendations.  The 730 reports are confidential and cannot be copied, so generally parties have to review them with their family law attorney in their office.

Given the seriousness of such evaluations, it is important that parties be prepared for the child custody evaluation ahead of time, which is the job of their family law attorney.  Such preparation will help alleviate some of the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty involved in the evaluation process.  Here are some tips on how to prepare for a 730 child custody evaluation:

• Know that parties cannot outsmart the psychological testing, so they should not bother trying.  It is better to be honest, because the testing can pick up on misrepresentations and defensiveness, etc.
• Nothing is black and white in life.  That goes for parenting, which means that one party’s parenting is not all perfect, while the other’s parenting is all bad.  So be prepared to provide the evaluator with what you believe the other parent’s faults are, but do not exaggerate those faults.  Moreover, be sure to point out what you believe the other parent’s good traits and what that parent does well in parenting.  When you find fault in everything that the other parent does, the evaluator is generally going to look to the parent pointing the finger at the other parent with a very skeptical eye.
• To further clarify what you believe that the other parent’s faults are, be specific with actual instances and examples of events that have occurred, rather than state generalities.  For instance, if your concern is a lack of supervision or allegations of neglect, be prepared with details of dates of the incidents and what occurred.
• If you are the party facing allegations made by the other party, treat your responses the same way, i.e. with specific facts and details on how the allegations made are false.  Be clear, be specific, and be to-to-point.
• Always think about the questions that the evaluator might ask you in terms of what is in the best interests of the children, not what you want.  For example, rather than simply stating that the children should be with you because you are the better parent, state the reasons why you really believe that the children are better served with what you are seeking in terms of custody.
• Whenever you refer to the children, always refer to them as “our children, not “my children.”  The children have 2 parents, not one.
• At some point during the evaluation, you and your children will meet with the evaluator, where the evaluator will observe the interactions between you and the children.  Remain relaxed despite the ackwardness of the situation, and be responsive to what your children are wanting and saying during that time.  It’s about them, not you.
• For better or worse, you and the other parent must learn to co-parent the children until they are adults.  You do not want to be the parent that is considered to be difficult and unwilling to co-parent.  You also do not want to be considered the parent who tries to frustrate the other parent’s relationship with the children.  If you have tried to facilitate a good parent-child relationship between the other parent and the children by encouraging it, tell the evaluator how you have done so.

It is highly advisable to talk with your family law attorney prior to the start of the 730 child custody evaluation for further advise.  That attorney will likely know the evaluator from prior cases and likely had some hand in the selection of that evaluator in your case, so he or she will have additional advice and information.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Asking for more

At the time of your divorce settlement, you made certain assumptions on likely expenses and how much help you would need from your ex by way of child support. The reality of life after divorce can often be far removed from what you had imagined and you may well find yourself hit with bigger bills and more expenses, especially if you are the primary caregiver for your child. Whether you simply discover that expenses are higher, or whether rising costs or a change of school or after-school activities have seen the cost of bringing up your child go up, you may need to reach out for some help. In some cases, you might find yourself out of work or facing a dip in your business as a consultant or freelancer and need your child support payments to go up.

Dealing with unexpected layoffs or pay cuts

With an economy that’s less than perfect, a lot of businesses are cutting back on raises and promotions. If you’re divorced and find yourself in the unfortunate position of having your pay cut, or are unlucky and find yourself laid off, then there may be an immediate need to modify your child support payments. Failure to do so will result in your missed payments as being marked as arrears that you will need to pay up at a future date. Child support orders cannot be modified retroactively beyond the date that you file for your modification with the court.

How to make changes to the payments

First off, you will need to provide proof of the changed circumstances. If you have lost your job or are drawing a lower income, this is easily proven with necessary documentation. If you have had to cut back on work due to health issues, medical documents backing this up will be needed. For additional expenses, you will need to prove that the added costs are unavoidable or absolutely necessary for the good of your child.

Once you are sure you have the supporting documents ready, file a Request for Order (RFO) with an Income and Expense Declaration (needs vary by state).  Remember, exceptions to this are lump sum alimony payments or property division. These cannot be modified or added to once they are agreed upon.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Legal advice

You may want independent legal advice from a divorce attorney to determine what your legal rights are and if a proposed resolution is in your best interests.

To finalize the paperwork

Both you and your partner need to come to certain agreements before the finalization of the divorce deal, which need to be incorporated into a final stipulated judgment.  Unless the divorce mediator is also a family law attorney versed on the law and capable of drafting a solid, enforceable judgment, either you or your spouse need to have legal counsel prepare the final Judgment based on the agreements of the parties.

To intervene when appropriate

Sometimes it is helpful for a party’s attorney to contact the mediator to clarify their client’s desires in the mediation or terms of settlement, or to sit in on divorce mediation sessions to help the party understand terms and rights.

It remains a fact that the employment of mediation in divorces could significantly enhance the speed of the process and consequently reduce the hardships. So, appointing a lawyer as a mediator is much better than appointing a lawyer for proceeding on a litigated divorce case.

Ultimately, it is up to the preference of each party in a divorce mediation as to whether they want their own divorce attorney on the case to advise them, although it is not mandatory to do so under any circumstance.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

QDROs: The earlier the better

A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) must often be drawn up to divide key retirement assets and avoid tax implications in the division of such assets.  In case your divorce is finalized before this has been agreed to, you may later discover that something you had banked on in is not implementable and you have no recourse since the divorce is now final. For instance, if you hope to get a lump sum payment from their pension plan, but discover that the plan won’t make a single big payout and will instead draw out payments across several years, you may find yourself stuck without the money when you need it. And you won’t be able to rework the plan to get other assets in lieu of this either.

The devil is in the details

One common error is to look at the account at current market conditions and define a set dollar value that a partner gets without mention of market or earnings/losses impact. Later, if the account is worth much less (or more) at the time of maturity, it could result in one of the two getting more (or less) than their fair share. For instance, an account with $250,000 dollars today with the wife due to get $125,000 might seem fair. However, if the account is suddenly down due to the volatility in the economy, the entire account may only be worth $150,000 and she will end up with $125,000 and her partner with a paltry $25,000.

Consider tax implications

It is important to look at the tax implications of whatever agreement you finally come to. Work with a financial consultant if need be, or better yet, hire an attorney with expertise in this area.  An IRA division for example, will have to be specifically labelled in the agreement as a transfer incident to divorce, to avoid tax on the transaction. If you don’t you and your ex may end up owing taxes in addition to an early withdrawal penalty in some cases. And all to fund your ex’s share of the money.

Hire the right divorce attorney

Not all divorce attorneys have the time to focus on retirement assets, because much of their attention will be geared towards handling what they see as bigger issues like child custody or spousal support negotiations. For instance, they will need to be well versed with QDRO law.  This will mean they need to have expertise in drawing up agreements on things like pensions and 401 (k) as well as other retirement assets. They should be able to distinguish between the nuances of both. While the former will involve looking at things like what pension they will draw as a surviving spouse, the latter may have to factor in market losses and earnings.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

1. Complex financial property: Divorce could be particularly taxing on a couple when large and complex financial property is involved. In order to decipher the exact division of such property, financial experts need to be employed. Also, a large amount of negotiation and mediation might be required to find out a tenable and viable division of the property. This happens especially when a certain property is indivisible. Also, dividing the property might result in increased taxes.
2. Absence of unanimity on decisions concerning child custody: When both the parties become hostile on the issue of child custody, the procedure for divorce becomes automatically more expensive. Educational and medical decisions pertaining to the child also become apples of discord between the warring parties. Since, the parties might be justified in their demands, a decision might be all that difficult for the court to take and consequently the process might turn out to be rather expensive.
3. One of the parties harp on making everything hard: While you and your attorney might be all too reasonable with your provisions, there is very little you could do to check your spouse from turning everything into a difficult exercise. Your partner might want to take advantages of the all the existing laws and thus the process might turn out to be an expensive one for you.
4. Fighting over property that hardly matters: If you or your spouse decides to fight on a property that hardly matters, you could be doling out a lot of disservice to yourself. The cost to fight for the property might be more than the cost of the property itself. Remember, you might be complicating the process and might end up spending a lot more than what you were actually supposed to spend.
5. A conviction that a procedural delay might resurrect the marriage: It is important to let go when filing for a divorce. Merely delaying the process to make the other partner understand the value of the marriage is simply a waste of time and money. At the end, you would grow poorer and the divorce would invariably take place anyways.

Therefore, parties going through a divorce should consider divorce mediation as a much more cost-effective method of resolving their issues more quickly and out of the court system.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Why division of debt is so important

Debt has the potential to be as debilitating as not being able to negotiate a reasonable alimony. Just as a dependent partner can struggle if the spousal support or child support agreed to is not adequate, not having clarity or not paying adequate attention to how debt is divided can be dangerous. Even if you do earn an income of your own, after a divorce the money you need to run a separate household on a single income does go up.

Taking on too much of the debt burden, or making assumptions that your spouse will continue to make the payments as they did before is risky. Even the most amicable of divorces can deteriorate into less than attractive arguments that might see your estranged spouse refusing to make any payments on debt that’s in your name, even if it was for a joint asset.

Know your options

The ability to manage debt after the divorce depends on numerous factors, and this must be taken into consideration while working out an agreement. What most experts on divorce and your  attorneys will suggest is that you try and settle all marital debt before heading into a divorce. The other option is to leave it to negotiations and discussions with your attorneys and soon to be ex during the mediation process. The other route is to leave it to the divorce court to decide. In case a prenuptial agreement is in play, this will direct the course of events in a very definitive manner.

Divorce mediation for debt division

If settling all debt before you divorce your spouse isn’t a possibility, know this – courts will only take decisions on joint debt. Anything that is taken out on only one of your names is left to you to negotiate out of court.

How divorce courts divide up debt

Depending on which state you are in, the system varies. For instances, in some states the debt as well as assets you had going into the marriage will be factored in. Others might divide the debt equally between both partners. Alternatively, if one spouse gets more of the property they may also be given more of the debt to handle.

In community property states, everything is divided equally – even debt. And this is true even if you were unaware of debt racked up by your spouse. Prevent nasty altercations with creditors by ensuring full financial disclosure during the mediation and negotiation phase. Request copies of credit reports and list out all accounts and credit cards and any debt with clear instructions on who will service which debt and how much.

If any property like a car or home, which is held jointly and was bought with a loan in both your names, is being moved to only your partner’s name, be sure the debt also reflects the change. If you don’t own the property, you shouldn’t own the burden of having your name on the debt even if you have agreed he/she will pay for it.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Whereas a divorce ends the arrangement of marriage between parties, the parties still remain married under the provisions of a legal separation. In clear and concise terms, a legal separation is orchestrated under a definite order of the court under which the responsibilities and rights of the couple are dictated while they are still legally married but living separately.

While, the parties can remarry following a divorce, remarriage is not an option when the parties are legally separated. Legal separations haven’t become too common yet. The provision could be substantially helpful if the couple decide to take a hiatus before they formally decide to annul their marriage. It is important to understand that legal separation also necessitates court proceedings and the court, akin to divorce proceedings, makes a decision on the following factors:

1. The maintenance for separation: The court decides on the support required for the spouse and children, if applicable. However, the terminology might at times be different in order to differentiate it from that of a divorce. The requisite documents for getting separation maintenance are filed in the court by a legal practitioner through a process known as ‘motion pending litigation’. This decision affects the outcome of any divorce petition that might follow the legal separation.
2. The decision for awarding the custody of the child.
3. The provisions for visitation of the child.
4. The provisions for dividing the property.

The decision to divide the property is taken by the court based on the financial situation of the partners and how the partners are related to the property.

The agreement to get a separation could play an instrumental role in safeguarding your interests till the point a decision is taken to file for a formal divorce. An increasing number of couples are resorting to legal separation as a viable option against a divorce.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The basics

When you develop a plan you will need to plan living arrangements and decide on parenting schedules. Who will the child live with? Primarily with one parent, or between two homes equally? List out holidays, vacation time and weekends. Consider how parental time was spent with the child before the divorce. Look at how schedules may change going forward. Chalk in office trips that might see you leave town and will require the other parent to step in.

Consider your children’s needs

Think of which home environment would be better for them at this stage of their lives. Do they need more time and attention from a particular parent? Will they benefit more from the facilities your ex-partner’s home can offer. For instance, a child who is young may need access to a good safe park and playground where they can meet other kids too.

Factor in any developmental needs of your children. A child with hyperactive traits or one with special needs might be better off with a calmer more patient parent, or one who has more time at hand to spend with them on their special learning requirements.

Work out a feasible plan

While you might want to spend all your free time with your child it may not be the most practical plan. Consider the limitations of living on your own. Will you be able to take time off from all your social engagements to be there at all times? If you’re not free do you have access to childcare or can you afford a nanny as a backup? While you might want your child to spend as much time with you as he/she does with your spouse, if your homes are far apart it might put undue stress on your child with a longer commute to school or result in separating them from their friends.

Take time on the details

If you and your partner agree that the child is better off with one parent full-time with visitation rights to the other parent, until the child is older, then have this stated clearly. For instance, you may say that the child will live with their mother until they are six years old after which a new plan will kick in.

If you are concerned about your child’s safety or the environment your child will be exposed to with your soon-to-be ex, then state the terms of the parenting plan clearly. If the agreement is subject to their conforming to certain rules like not bringing home anyone of the opposite sex, or not drinking or abusing drugs, this must necessarily be put in writing to be legally binding and to make it easier to take your child out of a potentially dangerous situation quickly.

In general, the more volatile your relationship with your spouse, the more care you will need to take with careful phrasing and detailing.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Mediation is a collaborative process through which your spouse and you would arrive at an agreement that needs to be decided for the execution of the divorce procedure with the help of a third party who would be neutral. The arrangement might include the custody for the child, the schedule of parenting, the distribution of property, the decision to award maintenance to the spouse, the support for children and similar other factors. It needs to be mentioned here that the mediation in this case is not a court-mandated one. The mediation here has been agreed to by both the parties on a voluntary and free basis. The mediator needs to have a substantial divorce and family mediation training and could help you through the completion of the process.

Some of the obvious advantages of mediated divorces as compared to litigated divorces could be listed as follows:

1. Economical: The process involved in mediated divorces is much less expensive than adversarial divorces affected in the courts. In fact, the cost could be only about 25 to 40 percent of the process involved in the courts.
2. Time effective: The mediated divorce procedure takes a lot less time than the process involved in the courts. While the former might take anything between four and eight weeks to come to a settlement, the later might take months and even years to solve the imbroglio.
3. Less economically draining: While you have the leeway to go hammer and tongue against your partner in the courts, it might have a disastrous effect on the relationship in the future as regards caring for the child. Also, the process might affect you emotionally. Thus, the best possible way is to resolve the crisis through a mediated process so that a productive relationship could be maintained in the future as well.
4. A lot more dignified: Mediation focuses on the areas of agreement and not on the areas of dispute. Thus, the process doesn’t have a telling effect on the psyche of an individual. Also, the confidentiality factor is maintained during the completion of the process leading to it being more dignified.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Legal rights of an adopted child

When parents decide to adopt a child during their marriage, they are agreeing to fulfilling each and every obligation of the child same as that of one born out of a wedlock. They have a duty to provide for the child and give them reasonable care. They also have the right to make all the important decisions in the child’s life such as school, hospitals to go to, education and extracurricular activities.

In some cases, the child is adopted by both parents while in some one parent adopts the child while the other is biologically their parent. In such cases, the courts take issues such as biological links and time spent in their child custody decisions form custody of adopted children.

Responsibilities and rights after divorce

Even when the two spouses get a divorce their responsibilities to the adopted child doesn’t change. Both the parents can vie for the custody of the child. The final decision in this regard is upon the courts. The courts can either award one of the parents a primary custody of the child and the other visitation or award both the parents joint custody. However, even where there is joint custody order one of the spouses will typically have a greater share of physical custody.

Adoption during divorce

Sometimes couples can decide to get a divorce even in between the adoption process. When this happens it complicates the situation. In such a case, the birth parents will be given a right to stop the process is they deem the household unstable to take care of their child since they have parted ways. However the final decision in this regard rests largely with the court. They can decide on whether or not the adoption you should go ahead and if it does which of the spouse will be awarded the custody. The decisions in this regard will be done keeping in mind the best interest of the child.

Looking to get a divorce

It is not just the act of getting a divorce that can affect an adoption. Sometimes the mere intent of getting an Orange County divorce will be enough. Similarly if the courts are able to find that there is some degree of fraud, they can choose to nullify the adoption even if the couples wanted to care for the child despite their divorce.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Here is a list of some of the most recent misconceptions about divorce mediation.

1.     Negotiating with a spouse who is unreasonable is impossible

As the divorce time approaches, emotions start to boil and spouses generally hate each other. There is anger, anguish and resentment at the situation, especially for a spouse who has been cheated or lied upon. This can result in tense, unreasonable demands by spouses to one another during the mediation resolution talks.

While it may be tricky to handle, it is certainly not impossible to mediate. At the heart of all the anger and the anguish for both spouses, is almost always a fear of the unknown future. That is what divorce mediators are trained to cater to and suppress. They will talk to the two spouses and ensure that they come to a peaceful, simple and quick end to their marriage.

2.     Once the divorce is done, so is my interaction with the other spouse

As great a proposition as it may be, to most spouses going through a divorce right now, this is unfortunately, not the case. You might have negotiated a divorce agreement with the other spouse but you will have to interact with them post divorce in matters that concern the children and even down the line, if you feel that the divorce agreement needs to be re-examined.

3.     You can’t use an attorney in divorce mediation

There is a common misconception that the use of an attorney is barred in divorce mediation. Yet, that is far from reality. In reality, there is no such ban on the use of an attorney, yet it is seen that most people tend to go through it alone, largely because it’s cheaper and the mediators help the spouses with the complex issues.

4.     Arbitration, mediation and collaborative divorce are all the same thing

This though, is largely a myth. The fact that they are named differently is reason enough to understand that they aren’t the same thing. In a collaborative divorce, both spouses hire an attorney to negotiate, while it is done out of court. Arbitration is different as there, an arbitrator much like the judge, will give the ruling. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, is a process where the two spouses will decide their future themselves.

5.     Litigated divorce gets you a better outcome

This is something that most people believe when they go for a litigated divorce. Instead, quite the contrary is true. Not only is mediation a cheaper method to divorce, it is also one where you are best placed to make a deal that suits you, instead of hoping for the judge to rule in your favor.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Typically, there are three different types of custody orders that a court makes.  This blog will take a look at the three different types of custody that the family law judge can award.

Sole custody

This is the by far the easiest custody arrangement to understand. As the word itself suggests this is a custody that is restricted to the one parent only. Hence the courts will choose either of the two parents as being the person who can take care of the child best and give sole custody of the child to them. A sole custody generally means that the spouse who has been awarded the custody will have the authority to take all important decisions in the child’s life on their own.

Not only that, the child will exclusively live with that parent, although the other parent may be given some visitation rights. This kind of custody is often given in situations where the other parent is involved in any kind of drug, alcohol, sexual or physical abuse with or without the child.

Joint custody

Joint custody is the most common custody order in divorce cases. This as the name suggests requires both the spouses have custody of the child jointly. This though in no way means that the two spouses will need to live together. Instead, this means that the physical custody of the child will be shared amongst both parents.

In addition to physical custody, important decisions that are taken about the child such as the school that they will study in, the religion that they will practice, the hospital they will go to, etc. are taken by both parents in consultation. This is known as joint legal custody, and it is common because the courts believe the presence of both the children at some point during the week is in the best interest of the child. However for such a custody arrangement to work, both parents need to have frank communications.

Third party custody

There are some situations where neither of the parents is deemed by the family law court to be fit to take care of the child. Remember being a parent doesn’t guarantee custody of the child. In the Orange County the most important thing is best interest of the child. In such situations the court can grant the custody of the child to third parties such as grandparents of the child, etc., although generally only temporarily.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Even then, when you are getting divorced, your choices need to be mindful of the fact that your decisions will have a lasting impression. Hence, it is best that you go for divorce mediation, which is a peaceful method of ending a relation instead of litigation.

However, as a divorce is an option of last resort, first off, you should try to save your relation. Here are a few resolutions that will help you do just that.

1.     Talk finances

The root cause of most marital problems is money. It is also the first thing that couples fight for in a divorce. Hence, it is important for spouses to talk about their finances at the start of each year. This way, you can separate the expenses for each spouse and ensure that fights on finances are avoided.

2.     Be realistic about your relationship

Expecting too much out of something is never a good thing. The same goes for your relationship. The biggest mistake that a person can make to ruin a relationship is looking for more than what their partner can give. This creates friction, loss of love and eventually, a bitterness that leads to the end of the relation.

3.     If you fight, stay on topic

Fighting is natural for two people that live under the same roof, especially when both of them are married to one another and have a stake in the other’s life. Yet, sometimes, how the fight is fought dictates what will unfold. Often, during the heat of the battle, spouses can leave the topic of the discussion behind and direct the fight personally. This is wrong and needs to be avoided.

4.     Forget you had a past

Keeping a memory of the fights, problems, issues and bitterness will only lead to more of the same. The best way to move on and strengthen a relationship is starting afresh from a clean slate always. If you keep living in the past, you might ruin your future.

5.     Ensure communication

This aspect cannot be stressed enough. Silence breeds insecurities, false thoughts and fears. The only way to avoid all that is to have a clear communication with your spouse always. Only when you are unable to communicate with your spouse will your marriage tether on the brink of an Orange County divorce.

6.     Compromise even if you are right

At the start of your relationship, you should ask yourself if you want this. When you want a marriage, you should do everything to keep it, even if it requires you to compromise on something that you knew you were right about. Anything that will avoid conflict should be opted for.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The misconception

Even though litigation is arduous and time consuming, it could be useful in some scenarios. This is how and when a divorce litigation could be your best option. The biggest misunderstanding that people have is that all divorce litigation ends up in court with all affairs made public. However, there are many ways and means through which it could be more cordial. In the process of litigation itself, there always is an option of mediation which is a settlement option outside of court which is rarely explored due to the unilateral need for divorce. It is only when the need for a divorce is not mutual that the litigation is the last resort.

Ideally, if any divorce is mutual, over 90 percent of the cases always end up in settlements instead of litigation. As this phenomenon is growing, out of court settlements are more common and convenient. A collaborative or mediated divorce is always a desired procedure when there is no form or sort of violence or domestic threat involved. However, if there is a danger to one of the party’s life or the children’s life, an expedited divorce litigation would be the best manner to go about any of the problems.

The best time for litigation

In the case of domestic violence, child abuse or drug abuse, the marriage can become a very tough and trying endeavor. In this case it is always best to file for divorce petition and try to get into protective custody as soon as possible to avoid harm to you and your loved ones. In this case a divorce litigation is also handy because it allows you to get absolute jurisdiction of the child or children from an abusive parent. Even though litigation is a contentious process since it isn’t mutual you have to ensure to get yourself an expert negotiator as an attorney who would ensure your physical and financial safety.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

This though, is not a fair reflection of a divorce. With time, the process of divorce has evolved and today, there are methods other than litigation, such as Orange County divorce mediation, which are new and improved ways of getting divorced. Another enhancement that can and should come in this regard is the advent of virtual divorce mediation. But why? The benefits of virtual mediation and how it can be a game changer are highlighted below.

It is Very Convenient

Divorce mediation is a simple process that can be smooth for most people. On top of that, if you add the virtual element to it, it would mean that the spouses wouldn’t have to be in the same vicinity, or even country, to mediate with one another in the presence of a mediator. It can all be done online as each of the spouses continues to go their own separate ways.

Readily Available

The primary difference that exists between divorce mediation and a litigated divorce is the fact that mediation is typically best for spouses that are cooperating. However, the use of virtual mediation can change that. Here, even two warring spouses that hate each other to bits will be able to work with one another for a better future, knowing that they are not in each other’s dreaded company.

Enhanced Comfort Level

If people tell you going through a divorce is easy; never believe them. No matter what type the divorce is, you will always feel a sense of regret, pain and guilt at the relationship’s ending. Yet, the use of virtual mediation can help you become comfortable with the mediation proceedings. You can take part in Orange County divorce mediation from your own home, a place where you are at your most comfortable.

It’s Tech Savvy

The world is fast changing, and every few months or so, the top mobile companies produce the latest of mobile phones that sends the rest of the stock in the market spiraling down in demand. The same case applies here with divorce. Earlier, there was only litigation, but as time passed and people wanted something more, divorce mediation came into the picture. If mediation is to keep its place as the go to option for couples looking to divorce, it needs to add something extra and the best way to do that, is by making it tech savvy.

California Divorce Mediators offers the option of “virtual” divorce mediation for the convenience of the parties.  For more information, please contact us at info@cadivorcemediators.com or through our website.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Filing the divorce petition

In California, if a divorce petition must be filed, it must be done so by you or your spouse in the resident county of you or your spouse. The additional stipulation is to also have a minimum of six months of residency in the state. There must be a domicile certificate that indicates that the plaintiffs are both residents and citizens of the area. A temporary restraining order could be filed if either of the party is not consenting with the general decorum and rules of consent and appropriate behavior.

Serving the divorce petition

When a divorce petition is filed, it must also be served with due notice to the other party.  Thereafter, the other party must file their Response within 30 days after service of the Summons and Petition.  Consent for the divorce filing is not required in California.  Essentially, it is much like a regular lawsuit, and in this instance parties sue the other party for divorce.

Seeking temporary orders

After the petition is served and delivered, either party can seek temporary orders regarding custody, child support, spousal support, etc. while the divorce proceedings are pending.  These orders are of temporary nature until the case is finally settled in trial or by a negotiated marital settlement agreement as part of a Judgment.

Discovery

Once the basic foundation is in place, it is important that both parties know their best interests and request information and documentation from the other party through formal discovery requests that may come in useful during the court case.

Mediation

Even though an official petition is filed, the law allows both parties to try to work out situations amicably by finding common ground and reasonable settlements through divorce mediation. This could be considered to be one last chance to settle matters out of court.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Back in the school or college when practical life hadn’t dawned, a bad Valentine’s Day for most people was one where every one of their friends and colleagues had gotten a card or a flower, but they didn’t.

But as we grow up and get out of your colleges to the more practical side of things, attending university and so on, the worst Valentine’s Day is one where you and your partner grow apart or break up. None of this though compares to the worst Valentine’s Day in reality.

A Day in Court

This is a divorce blog and you guessed it right, the worst Valentine’s Day for a person will be when their Orange County divorce case is scheduled for the 14^th of February. Imagine the pain and the flood of negative emotions that one would face when they have to go to court to finalize the process of the end of their marital relation on the day that is touted as a day of love and appreciation.

The impact of emotions in our life is paramount and more so, when you are going through an Orange County divorce. This is one point in your life when you are at your most vulnerable, licking your wounds and looking back at what could have been, and what should have been.

It is amazing how people can muster the strength to come up to court on the 14^th of February with their lawyers and engage in a bitter fight for assets, children and other things in your divorce case. A stark opposite of what this day represents in reality. Instead of the couple looking towards the future, the couple will find themselves bickering about the past and how each would want to go their separate way in the future.

Avoiding a Bad Valentine’s Day

What can you do if your Orange County divorce case is scheduled to be heard on the 14^th of February except going and attending your divorce proceedings? You can do nothing; you will have to attend the proceedings. Yet, this awkward encounter could be avoided if you go for Orange County divorce mediation instead of litigated divorce.

The thing about divorce mediation is that it empowers the spouse to take the decisions. This means that you will decide the date of the proceedings, the course of the proceedings and the decision of the mediation proceedings between yourself and your spouse. This means that such dreadful dates of having to go through a divorce hearing on the day of togetherness and love can and will be avoided.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

• Alimony or spousal support.
• Child custody.
• Child visitation rights.
• Child support.
• Property division.
• Debt division.

Property division

Following the separation of a married couple, their assets are split between them. This division is carried out in agreement or via a judicial decree. The spouses are entitled to split the property acquired during the course of their marriage following the dissolution of their union.

The marital property is jointly owned by the spouses until a final order has been issued by a judge. The spouses are advised to divide their property and debt equally to avoid altercations; however, most cases do not end so peacefully.

How to split your property

If you are in the process of a divorce and need to split your assets, the first thing you should do is create a list of all that you own. This will help you understand which items qualify as marital property and separate property. If you are living in Orange County, California, and are looking to get a divorce, you will need to fill out a Schedule of Assets and Debts form as part of a “Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure,” where you will list out their assets. This form must be shared with your spouse while you are disclosing financial declarations. This is a mandatory issue for legal separations and divorces.

You are advised to remain honest while you list out your assets and while categorizing them as separate and matrimonial property. The penalties for withholding information regarding your assets can be serious.

Once your spouse and you have filled out your respective forms, you can compare details to learn if – your spouse and you disagree on what has been categorized as matrimonial or separate property or there is a large difference in how you have valued the matrimonial property. If you are in agreement, then you can settle the case with your spouse easily enough, but in case you disagree, you will have to go to trial. The judge will then make a decision and issue a final order.

You are also allowed to buy out your spouse’s share of the marital property if you have the financial capabilities. Spouses are also allowed to jointly own a property together even after they have legally separated, but this will need for the couple to maintain a financial relationship, which can make it a very unattractive option.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

This blog will take a look at how you can get child custody from a spouse that is outside of the U.S.

Foreign Reciprocating Countries

It is not necessary that the importance that the U.S. pays to child support payments is reciprocated in other countries. However, there are some countries with which the U.S. has pre-existing agreements with to get child support from the spouse living in their country. Currently the U.S. has such agreements with 26 foreign countries.

An international divorce and/or custody case where one of the spouses/parents is outside of the country will usually require the filing of a child support order with the local child support office. Once this has been done, that country will assign an agency to deal with the issue, contact the spouse in their country and to make them comply with the issue.

State Agreements

The above scenario is one where the federal government has an agreement with the other government. This can also be done down at the state levels. For example, if the State of California has an agreement  with another country, the courts can then order the state to make use of that agreement to make the spouse in the other country comply with the order.

Treaties

There are a number of countries around the world that are a party to a number of child custody treaties. One of the most important treaties for the protection of a child is the International Hague Convention treaty. Countries that are signatories of this treaty for example follow the uniform international child abduction and custody laws and ensure that even if a spouse is not in the U.S. he or she should be made to pay the expenses of their child.

State Employers

The fact that the U.S. is the hub of most business around the world is an encouraging fact as far as child support case is concerned. If you are able to get the child support order in your favor in your divorce case and the company in which your spouse works has an office in the U.S. then you can move the court to start a wage garnishment service against the other spouse. What this would do is that the company of the spouse will deduct the child support amount from his salary monthly and transfer it on their own in your bank account.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Why divorce mediation?

Mediation is not necessarily a new idea, but it has become a frequently used method, especially in Orange County, while negotiating the terms of a divorce. The mediator facilitates your discussions with your spouse and aids you in amicably reaching an understanding with your spouse on what is best for both of you and your family.

The mediator helps you in resolving issues involved with the distribution of property, child custody and visitation rights, spousal support and child support as well as divorce settlements.

Mediator’s role

Before a mediator agrees to work with you, he or she will need basic information about your family, your marriage and the divorce itself. The mediator will then sit with you, either together with your spouse or individually in separate sessions, where he will take your views, opinions and positions regarding the divorce. Your lawyers are also sometimes allowed to be present during your sessions with the mediator.

After screening the initial information, the mediator will give you his opinion and suggestions on how your spouse and you can work together to reach an agreement. He will then chalk out a plan to help you accomplish it. If your divorce is entangled with property issues and child custody, your mediator will require more information to be able to accurately assess your situation.

When negotiations start, the mediator will start with simpler issues and encourage you to build trust and make compromises on larger issues. The mediator will guide you to staying on track and provide you with different options. He will encourage you to listen to each other, asserting that communication is a key factor in resolving issues. To make the mediation a success, you will have to be more open to compromise and listen to your spouse’s ideas and positions.

While reaching an agreement, the mediator will help create a plan, including a parenting plan, which will later become part of your divorce settlement.

Benefits of a mediator

Mediation is cheaper than a trial in court and most of them have high success rates. They are confidential and your lawyer can be present to offer you legal advice. While at mediation, it is your spouse and you who control the process, not the judge. Finally, the entire process enables you and spouse to improve communication and work together, making it easier for you to resolve future conflicts.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Kinds of spousal support 

If you seek spousal support while your case is in process, it will be known as a “temporary spousal support order.” It will be called “permanent spousal support” if the court case and divorce has been finalized.

Calculating spousal support

In the courts of Orange County, judges refer to the factors listed in the California Family Code to determine how much spousal support is required as they decide the final spousal support order. The factors mentioned include:

• The duration of the marriage.
• The standard of living each person maintained while being married and the needs based on that.
• The amount of money each person can afford to pay to maintain the standard of living while they were married.
• Property and debts, if any.
• If there were any instances of domestic violence during the marriage.
• If one spouse had to quit their career to care for the children or the household.
• The impact spousal support would have on the payer’s taxes.

The long-term spousal support depends on the duration of the marriage and the goal of the idea is to ensure that the spouse will be able to support themselves after a reasonable amount of time. The judge need not fix an end-date for the spousal support if the duration of the marriage was “long-term,” which is 10 years or longer.

Domestic violence and its impact on spousal support 

If there has been any recorded evidence of domestic violence, the judge will take into consideration these details before the final decision has been made. If the abusive spouse is paying the spousal support, the judge will declare that any distress that was faced by the other spouse due to the violence must also be supported.

Once the court order has been published, the spouse must continue paying the alimony until a change has been declared by the court or until the end-date mentioned in the order. In Orange County and California in general, if you fall behind on your spousal support payments, you will have to pay 10% interest per year on the due balance which is known as “arrearages.” You can also be held “in contempt of court” if you are found to be willfully not paying the alimony.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Mediation in child custody battles 

Mediation involves a neutral third-party member that helps resolve issues without having to go to court. If the parents cannot agree on a parent plan in mediation, they are requested to go to court, where the judge will issue an order.

Mediation in child custody cases helps parents resolve their disagreements regarding a plan for their children. The parents seek consul from an expert, who helps them create a plan that may potentially become a custody and visitation agreement if it gets signed off by a judge.

The local superior courts have free mediation programs to help parents with child custody issues.

Benefits of mediation in child custody battles

The advantages of involving mediation in a child custody case are as follows:

• When you seek mediation, your spouse and you will have to work together, focusing on a common goal, which is doing the right thing for your children. With mediation, you can create a parenting plan that will enable both of you to be actively involved in your children’s lives.
• Divorces have a very negative impact on children and they find it difficult to accept their parents’ separation. Your children are usually caught in the crossfire between your spouse and you. Mediation will teach you to separate your interests from your children’s and focus on what is best for them.
• Mediators are neutral and well-trained professionals. They will not pick a side and will only focus on a good future for your children.
• A divorce causes spouses to blame each other and become enemies, but mediation will help you focus on developing skills to creating a parenting plan and working together.
• Mediation will help reduce conflict and stress and also help you improve your communication skills with your spouse.
• Creating an effective working partnership with your spouse is the mediator’s primary focus. This allows them to help you with a plan to raise your children together.
• Mediation is cheaper than lawsuits and will always create good results.

Conflicted divorces are very frustrating, for you and your children. Focus on building a working relationship with your ex and creating the right parenting plan to raise your children together.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Despite it being a fast, empowered, stress free and conflict free way of getting divorced, sometimes, even divorce mediation can fail. This blog outlines the 3 reasons why it can fail, so that you can avoid them and make your divorce mediation a success.

Expectations Not Matching Reality

People to people contact, the internet and other online resources have a number of different advantages, but one disadvantage of the process can be the spreading of misinformation. Some of the spouses that come for Orange County divorce mediation have a belief that everything that their spouse has is theirs. When spouses have such unrealistic expectations, it is hard to negotiate with them because they want the other spouse to merely accept what is being offered or risk losing all of it in a litigated divorce.

Despite the fact that their belief is wrong, these spouses and their sky high expectations can decrease the chances of a meaningful conversation and a resolution.

Engaging in Good Faith Negotiation

The key to success in Orange County divorce mediation is having good faith during negotiations. This is not a game of chess or a game of hearts where you keep your cards and your moves close to your chest. For mediation to work, the spouses need to trust one another and should outline all of their options on the table. Inability to do so can result in a breakdown of negotiations.

A good faith negotiation is where both of the spouses feel willing to negotiate and provide true, relevant information beforehand. Lying, keeping information and assets hidden can be taken in bad faith and might ultimately lead to a failure of the mediation process.

Trying to Use Mediation as a Way of Mending Broken Bridges

There are some spouses who enter mediation, not with the goal of having a peaceful resolution to their divorce process, but instead to salvage their marriage. These spouses believe that unlike a litigated divorce, the pace of this divorce can be dictated. Hence, they try and slow the pace down only to buy time to salvage a relation.

This is often the wrong approach to take, since once another spouse has decided to take such a big step of ending the relation, there is a minute chance if any, of them going back on their word and the only thing delaying mediation achieves, is getting the two embroiled in a bitter litigated divorce.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Once a couple decides to go their separate ways, there are two paths to choose: they could either get a litigated divorce or opt for divorce mediation. The choice of which path to walk on and which one to leave alone will typically determine the kind of future that they experience.

Divorce is a Stressful Process

Getting a divorce is a stressful process. The thought of leaving your partner of many years even if you have developed irreconcilable differences with them can often take its toll. It is natural for a spouse to feel sad at the ending of something that was started to last a life time.

On top of sorrow, what spouses feel the most is stress. The stress of what will happen to their children and how will they be brought up, the stress of the financial outcome of the divorce, the stress of an uncertain financial future and the stress that comes from a bitter litigated battle with the other spouse.

But did you know that stress can lead to a number of major health issues for a person? This includes the recurrence of diseases that have only recently subsided.

Moreover, the uncertainty that surrounds a divorce can also be too much for spouses to handle, affecting their view of the case and their state of mind in some situations.

Mediation to Relieve Stress

Remember that at the start of the blog, we highlighted that there are two paths to a divorce that you can choose? The second one, i.e. divorce mediation is the one designed to help you deal with your stress and uncertainties. People often talk about a number of advantages that mediation holds over litigated divorce, such as:

• Being faster
• Creative
• Cheaper
• Confidential

Yet, the fact that mediation is a process that gives spouses a peace of mind and acts as a stress reliever is often understated. Orange County divorce mediation is different to litigation in many ways. Primarily, it gives the decision making powers to the spouses themselves. Often, spouses having a divorce are stressed about what the future holds for them and what portion of the assets they will get. In mediation, the powers to determine the financial future of the spouses, custody and upbringing of the child etc, are all bestowed upon the spouses themselves.  When they know they are in charge, spouses are less likely to stress out about the outcome since they are the ones drafting it.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

“F” stands for Financial

The first thing to consider when deciding on which method of divorce suits you is the financial side of things. How much do you think the financial side is likely to cost you in each method? In a litigated divorce, there are a number of different costs involved, such as the cost of having to register the case, the cost of having to hire a lawyer, paying the costs of the lawyer when the divorce proceedings start etc. Good lawyers will typically take a considerable amount of your finances to hire and fight your case.

On the other hand, if you take a look at divorce mediation, the process is far cheaper. The only cost that you have to pay is the total cost of the mediation process in a lump sum amount which is to be shared amongst the two spouses and won’t only be your cost to bear.

“E” is for Emotions

This is one of the most important things to note. When a couple decides to get a divorce, the method that they choose will determine the level of and type of emotions that they experience. Litigation for example, is a method where the two spouses will have to fight with one another through their lawyers. This can cause emotions of hate and bitterness in the spouses.

On the other hand, in divorce mediation, the primary theme is cooperation and communication. Here, while there may be no love lost between the spouses, an emotion of mutual cooperation and respect will be developed.

“A” is for Analytical

In a litigated divorce, you have hired a lawyer and they are the ones that will ultimately make the strategy. Your role will be limited. In divorce mediation, on the other hand, you are your own spokesman, negotiator and decision maker. This means that you are free to make decisions, analyze the situation and act according to your wishes.

“R” is for Rational

Having looked at all of the factors mentioned above, the ability to make a rational decision as to which method you are going to opt for, will determine the course of your future. On the face of it, for a speedy, easy and empowered divorce, Orange County divorce mediation is the best way.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

California Residency Requirements – How Do You Show Domicile?

The most important word to highlight whether you fulfill the California residency requirement is domicile. This can be broken down into two parts, one is intent to stay in the state and the other is physical residence in the State of California.

The most important thing to know when showing domicile is that it is at the very least not a black and white rule at all. There are a number of issues that the court will look at such as:

• Voter Registration
• Organizations, mail receipts and memberships
• Registration of vehicle and your driver’s license
• Residency or home ownership
• Filing of tax returns
• What banks hold your money and where

What You Should Ask Yourself Before Filing

A lot of the times you will find yourself unsure regarding the correct domicile to file for your divorce case. However, if you are unsure, it’s best that you ask yourself the following questions:

• How likely is it that your spouse will file for a divorce in another state?
• How well do you think you match up to the residency requirements to file for an Orange County divorce?
• Where are the children, financial documents and witnesses that back up your claims located? This is an important question because their presence in the county will help you establish domicile.
• Is it feasible in line with a cost benefit analysis for you to file in this jurisdiction and have the jurisdiction challenged, or for you to challenge jurisdiction in another state?

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

“L” is for Listening

When couples fight and argue, they can shout, belt out words, sentences and phrases at the top of their voices. This means that while both the spouses are shouting their lungs out, neither is being heard. All their screams, threats, and reasoning are falling onto deaf ears. This is where the Orange County divorce mediator comes in.

As you come for mediation, the mediator will make you feel heard. They listen to your fears, your aspirations and what you would want the resolution to look like. This helps calm the spouses down for a meaningful discussion.

“O” is to Observe

No matter how long you and your spouse have been married for, the time you have spent with one another is more than the time the divorce mediator has spent with either of you. For them to help you in this case, they will need to make use of their powers of observation. Observing how the spouses act is an important tool of the mediators, which helps them learn the dynamics of the relationship between the two spouses.

“V “is to Validate/Verify

There are times when couples ride on the merry go round of accusations against one another. This can damage the spirit of mediation and the spouses that they have been made against. Hence, it is the job of the divorce mediator to listen closely to what has been said and make sure the accusations are repeated to the spouse that made them and their validity verified. Typically, spouses that make accusations in rage can realize their mistake when they are mellow and retract their statement. This can heal the wounds of the other spouse.

“E” is for Emotional Healing

When people end a long-standing relationship, no matter the hurt and anger they have for the other spouse, there is bound to be some regret and underlying feelings of guilt. In such a bad emotional state, for the spouse to be able to play a meaningful part in an Orange County divorce mediation, the mediator needs to help them along the way to move beyond and try to heal those emotions.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

How the Positions In A Divorce Case Affect Future Co-Parenting

One of the most common science quotes is, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. This applies perfectly well in cases of a divorce. Simply put, what you do in your Orange County divorce case will come back to bite you if you are not careful as far as co-parenting goes.

Sometime for example, the threat to a child from one of their parents may be so great that they will have to be kept away from them for their own safety. Yet, these are often rare cases and typically this won’t be the case. So even if there is a high conflict between the parents, the custody of the child can carry on as usual.

The positions you take over co-parenting in a divorce case will go on to dictate the way you act in co-parenting with or without conflict. Hence it is best that any position taken must be taken with care and a strict sense of the future in mind. The one things that can often create conflict in co-parenting after divorce is placing emphasis on something too much, more than it warrants.

How Parental Conflict Can Sometimes End In Better Co-Parenting

When you get into a conflict with the other spouse, emotions of hatred and bitterness are in play. Keeping tabs over these emotions is  a great test of character and integrity of a person. The best way to do is by practicing logic and making sure you handle everything with courage.

Yes, conflicts can become ugly most of the times and for a child to see their parents have a conflict even during or after they have gone through a divorce can be testing to say the least. But, on the brighter side, going through conflict actually teaches the divorced parents how to handle their emotions. How to ensure that logic triumphs and how to make sure difficult moments can always be overcome if you have the best interest of the child at heart.

Most parents love their children and would do anything to get their custody, conflict in co parenting teaches the other spouse how they may have love and emotions for the child, but the other parent has the same feelings.

The key to co-parenting is trust and allowing the other parent to enjoy as much space as you do with you child, and once you have had conflict with the other spouse, you will know that the other spouse is as eager as you to spend time with the child.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

One of the landmark cases that has come to define the approach that the court must take when dealing with Orange County divorce cases with child custody issues involving military personnel is called the Marriage of E.U. and J.E. The greater emphasis of the court’s decision was with regard to parental rights enjoyed by members of service that are deployed for active duty.

This blog will outline what the courts decided and most importantly observed in this case.

A Brief Low Down on the Facts

The child between the married couple was born in the year 2000. A year after the birth of the child the parents filed for an Orange County divorce. The primary custody of the child was given to the father and the parental arrangements were formalized back in the year 2006 July. It was reaffirmed by the trial court as being in the best interest of the child.

However, there was a clause in the 2006 order which highlighted that in case a spouse was to be called for military duty, the other spouse would assume primary responsibility of the child. This would end when the deployed parent came back home and things would go back to the status quo decided.

The father was deployed from 2009 to 2012 in Afghanistan. Once the father returned, the mother refused to hand the primary custody back to the father arguing that it would damage the stability that the child had become accustomed to over the past few years.

What the Judges Thought

As a result of this development, the judge had to have a hearing on the 2006 order and ordered an Evidence Code section 730 child custody evaluation. The judge of the case accepted that there was to be a delay as a result of Family Code section 3047 being used, but placed some responsibility of the situation on the father. This was because the father had failed to provide information of his prospective deployment to the court back in October 2010 when they asked.

Once the 730 report came out, it suggested that the child should be left in the care of the mother because the age of the child was now 6 and he had become accustomed to the care and stability of his mother.  However, the parties couldn’t come to agreement on this fact. The father argued that Family Code section 3047 was designed to protect the parental rights of people that were deployed in service.

Importantly, the Court of Appeal on hearing the appeal, accepted the use of Family Code section 3047 and ordered for the custody to be returned to the father now that he was back from his service and that his deployment should not be used against him.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

These are questions that need to be answered and will be answered in this two part blog. This is the first part of the blog.

An Art Learned

The most important thing to note here is that co-parenting is an art that people are not born with. This is something that needs to be learned over time and with experience. The first and most important thing needed to learn this art is hard work and determination. You need to know in your mind that you are doing this for the betterment of your child. Once you know that the end goal is the betterment of your child, it is likely that you will be able to overcome obstacles that may have put you off earlier.

The Start of Conflict

When you have gone through an Orange County divorce, there is bound to be bitterness in between spouses. But this bitterness seldom transforms itself into conflict without initiation from either side. There are a number of different ways where this initiation can start. Some examples of how a conflict between parents starts after a divorce are highlighted below.

·         Making Use of the Child as Leverage

When two spouses go into a divorce, more often than not they perceive it as a fight which needs to be one at any cost. It is a fight alright but what the weapons? Unfortunately, for some parents children are weapons of attacking and gaining leverage over the other spouse. Using children as leverage will include instances such as:

• Parental Alienation
• Violation of the joint legal custody rights
• Parental gate-keeping
• Use of false child abuse allegations etc.

The goal of all the actions highlighted above is simple, to frustrate and anger the other spouse into either submission or making a mistake.

·         A lack of Trust is a Lack of Respect

The use of children is not the sole way a parental conflict exists. Sometimes the fact that there is a growing lack of trust between the spouses can give rise to conflict. This conflict can in most cases take a hostile turn, most commonly in cases where there is a lack of respect. The most common issues that can come up are:

• Lack of financial support
• Perception of the other parent being broken up
• Infidelity which has broken trust beyond repair
• Perception that the other parent lacks the requisite parenting skill

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Temporary Support

Temporary alimony is usually given during the time the divorce proceedings are underway.  It is created to help a non-working spouse or someone who needs the financial support of their partner, to get through the months leading up to the actual divorce when a more permanent solution will be decided upon.

When is temporary support granted?

This kind of alimony or spousal support is typical of the period of separation or in cases where the marriage annulment has been applied for, besides the more conventional divorce proceedings stage. A document called the Request for Order is to be filed at the local family court, after which both spouses must then submit Income and Expense Declarations. This declaration contains all financial information on each of them and is used to determine the financial status and needs of each spouse. While there are specific guidelines in place in each state, the exact case is dealt with at the discretion of the court where the financial motions are filed. The court may choose to not grant temporary support or temporary alimony at all, and in cases where alimony is granted temporarily, the terms are decided by the court.

Permanent Alimony

Once a divorce proceeding heads to its final stages of closure, the court will decide whether the particular case requires conditional/short-term alimony to be granted or if a more permanent solution is required. The latter is usually chosen if one spouse has no income and the duration of the marriage is suitably long. It is also up to the divorce attorney of the spouse seeking alimony to ensure all necessary documentation is presented to support a case for this kind of permanent alimony. If one partner has given up their career to support the marriage and bring up the kids and will find it near impossible to get back into the workforce, it could make a case for permanent alimony. Ultimately however, whether or not permanent spousal support depends on the negotiation powers and prowess of your divorce attorney and the discretion of the judge.

The connection between temporary and permanent alimony

No matter how extensive the background work was in determining the temporary alimony, this is not used to ascertain the terms of the permanent spousal support. In essence, permanent and temporary alimony are two completely separate court mandated orders. One does not have bearing on the other.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Do go in with an open mind

Being flexible and keeping an open mind is underrated when it comes to divorce mediation. If you approach the process as something that you must succeed at together, as a team then you will get the job done. Head in like it is a battle and no one will win.

Do go to a counselor together before divorce mediation begins

Use the divorce mediation to work out legal and financial intricacies. A counselor can help you work through the negativity and emotions so that you can approach the mediation more clinically.

Do treat the mediation differently than a court battle

A mediation is meant to be just that – a discussion of two opposing views, to find some common ground so a mutually acceptable solution can be arrived at. In this case, an agreement on child custody, the division of property and other assets as well as alimony payments or spousal support if any. It is neither the right time nor the right platform for a full scale mudslinging battle with your spouse, even if you are the wronged party. Focus on the goal – getting to a solution – rather than on the person across the table from you.

Don’t expect too much of your spouse

Equally dangerous is erring on the side of too much faith. Your lingering love for your soon to be ex, could be dangerous as you second guess your decision. However, remember, your spouse might not be in the same headspace as you, and may not share your feelings. Don’t be blindsided because you failed to do your own homework and relied on their goodness to do the best for you. No one else has your best interests at heart at this time, barring your divorce attorney (if you hired right).

Don’t expect miracles to happen in court

While the divorce mediation process may seem futile at times, keep at it. It is a much more level playing field where you have a say in the final decision and agreement. Once a case goes to court, you will need to rely on the discretion of the judge and the ability of your divorce attorney against your spouse’s legal team. And once the court has made their decision you will have to live with it. Remember, things may not always go your way even if you think you have a watertight case.

Don’t resort to ranting on social media

Social media is a great place to vent, but hold back until the divorce proceedings are complete. Things you say there are visible for the world and your spouse’s friends and family to see. Something you say in the heat of the moment could come back to hurt your case in mediation or court. It is best to have these discussions offline, one-to-one in confidence with your divorce attorney or trusted friends and family only.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Alimony payments are dictated by need not income

You might believe that you are owed a certain amount by your spouse because they are earning far more than you are, or because you have invested a lot of time and lost out on career opportunities for the sake of your marriage. The reality however, is that the judge will make a decision on what amount you get as spousal support based on a dozen or so factors, depending on which state you are in. And one of the key factors that will come into play will be the perceived need of the spouse who is to receive the payment. Even if your spouse works, you may still have to pay alimony.

Payment of alimony may not be forever

There are a number of different kinds of spousal support, including something called short-term or rehabilitative alimony. This is designed to help one spouse tide over the initial phase after a divorce, where they need the help while they get their finances and life in order. Other kinds of alimony may also cease to be due, if the recipient moves in with a new partner or remarries.

The duration of your marriage matters

When it comes to alimony, the duration of the relationship also comes into play. The same couple going through a divorce after just 2 years of marriage will see a very different outcome and quantum of alimony being payable, compared to a couple that has been together for a couple of decades or more. That’s because the investment in the marriage and the opportunity cost for the spouse earning a lower income as a result of decisions taken to support the marriage, is greater.

You can take legal action if your spouse doesn’t pay up alimony

Once you have an alimony order, your spouse is required by law to give you the required payments as dictated. However, if they fail to do so, you could choose between undertaking an ‘earnings assignment order’ or a take out a ‘contempt’ proceeding. In extreme cases, if no payments are made in spite of a court order, the court could even put your ex in prison to get them to fall in line.

The role kids play in determining alimony

If your soon to be ex is the one with the primary care-giving responsibility for your kids and will continue to look after them after your divorce, the court will, in addition to the child support payments, also likely mandate a longer duration of spousal support. This is done so that he/she can find help and return to a full-time or regular job which they may not have had to do within the marriage. The extra time helps gives them the flexibility to re-qualify and hunt for a job.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Given the importance of this mediation process, if you’re hoping to come to a favorable agreement during child custody mediation, there are some areas to watch out for. Here are some of the most common mistakes people make during child custody mediation.

Not having your facts straight

During early interactions with the mediator, you will need to share information about your case. This might include an in-depth discussion on things like your relationship, how it began, when the troubles began, how many separations there have been, dates of the most recent separation and family history as well. If you are unclear or unsure on dates and details, you will come across as disinterested and disconnected from your family and the situation, a red flag for most mediators.

Not being completely honest

As part of the process, the child custody mediator will ask you some tough questions. It may not be easy having to own up to cases of drug or alcohol addiction, physical or mental abuse. If domestic abuse has reared its head, you will most definitely be asked about it. As the offending party, listening to all this can be difficult at the very least and it can be tempting to gloss over or try to justify your actions. Whatever your line of defense, always be honest. Clarify but do not justify. Accept and show repentance in your words and actions.

Pinning the blame on your partner

A marriage is a two way street and trying to paint your spouse as the wrong-doer and showing yourself up as the wronged party may not go down well. Accept your fair share of the blame and be mature about the situation. While being dismissive of the past is not good, nor is dwelling on it too much.

Being too rigid about your stance

It is important to know what you want out of the child custody mediation process, but at the same time, it is crucial that you come across as flexible. When you are open to listening to the other side and their needs, it will help you understand the overall situation better and will enable a joint decision that works out better for the kids too. Know that there will always be some things you or your spouse may not know that the other does. This mediation is an opportunity for you to learn and understand so you can build a stronger relationship with your children as they grow up.

Not picking what battles to fight

If you have a certain outcome you want from the process, the worst thing you could do is stand steadfastly by it even when things that don’t matter as much come up for negotiation. Be prepared to give in on some counts so that you can get what you want in other areas.

Stay positive and always remember that ultimately this is about your children, and both you and your estranged spouse want the same thing for them – the best life possible given the circumstances they are faced with.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

This may seem simple. What is uncertain in division of a property? First up, who gets what will depend on the opinion of the judge and second, uncertainty in this regard is with respect to what assets are on the table to be divided and which ones are off the table.

Knowing exactly what the marital estate comprises off and what is not included can help decrease the uncertainty surrounding the asset division part of a divorce.

There are different kinds of assets that are kept away from the divorce case. Some of these types are highlighted below.

Inheritance and Gifts

In family law, it is understood that the property which has been gifted to a person by another or the property that has come down through inheritance is often kept separate from the property to be divided in a divorce case. However, if the other spouse contends that the property should be divided, the onus is on the owner of the property to prove that it was either from inheritance or from a gift given to them by someone.

Properties Kept Out by Way of an Agreement

There are instances when a couple may decide to come to terms on an agreement as to the division of some of the property during the marriage, in the event of a divorce. If that is the case and the agreement exists and is accepted by both the parties, then the assets mentioned in the agreement will be kept away from the divorce process and once the rest of the assets have been divided, the judge may incorporate the agreement in their decision.

Pre-Marital Properties

The concept of asset division is based on the fact that whatever was accumulated during the time of marriage was a result of the relationship of marriage between the two spouses and hence, both equally contributed to it. Based on that logic, any asset brought in before the marriage will remain strictly off limits. Even assets that are bought using money that was stored in a separate bank account pre marriage will stay off limits. Yet, care must be taken not to use community funds for any separate property’s maintenance, etc.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

To ensure that doesn’t happen to them, some people are now turning to private investigators to collect the requisite evidence. While typically, spouses in a marriage will know what goes on, in the other’s life, there are some situations where this is not the case. Sometimes, the spouse is kept in dark in terms of finances and the other spouse’s activities out of the house. In such cases, litigating a divorce case and backing their claims up with adequate evidence can most certainly be a challenge.

To avoid all this, a private investigator can be used. Here is a look at some situations where a private investigator could come in handy.

Asset Search

When couples come into divorce court, they are required to disclose all of their assets before the court. Yet, some spouses who are ill advised by their lawyers may look to hide their assets. In such a case, if the other spouse has a mere suspicion or even an idea that the spouse might have more assets that they are showing, he or she may turn to a private investigator to find out the real situation. If a private investigator is able to find evidence of the assets being hidden, the other spouse can use it to their advantage in a divorce case. The courts are very tough towards spouses that lie to the court.

Marital Misconduct

Often, spouses that have a prenuptial agreement may find it hard to get a greater share of spousal support or asset division than the one laid down in the agreement. However, some prenuptial agreement can have penalty clauses, where for instance, if an act of adultery has been committed by one of the spouse or any other such marital misconduct, then the pre nuptial agreement can be set aside by the court and the spouse being wronged will be given a greater share of the assets and a higher amount of spousal support.

Child Custody

This is an aspect of a divorce where neither of the spouses leaves a stone unturned to get the order in their favor. Some may even hire a private investigator to dig up some dirt against the other spouse that can be used in their case’s favor. The courts will take any evidence against either of the parent very seriously, since it functions on the principle of the best interest of the child.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Hiring a professional

DIY divorces may seem like a good idea at the time, saving you any outflow on lawyers. A caveat here is that while you could navigate the complicated filing yourself, the next steps aren’t as easy as you would imagine. negotiations are something experienced divorce attorneys are well trained in and extremely good at. They will serve your best interests at the negotiating table and will not let emotions derail the process. Without their counsel and skill, you may actually end up paying more in spousal support the long run and wipe out any savings you might have made during the divorce process.

Get a divorce attorney you can trust

Soldiering on with a divorce attorney or team you don’t think is good enough is not a good idea. If you feel your attorney is not what you expected or is incompetent – switch. Fail to do that and you may end up with a raw deal on spousal support and find yourself bogged down with huge payments. A divorce attorney who doesn’t have your best interests at heart will happily stand by and watch divorce mediation deteriorate waiting for the case to head to courts to rack up big legal bills for you.

Work with a divorce mediator

A divorce mediator will help you work out the gray areas. While basics like rent, food and clothing will be taken care off, it is the ‘extras’ like out of pocket medical expenses that you will need to negotiate on. By deciding on these areas out of court, you are much more in control and have a say in the final agreement. Not to mention the saved legal expenses. If you take your case to court, you will need to leave the decision on alimony to the discretion of the judge and lose that control you have.

Don’t forget about the taxman

There’s a third person in this divorce who is often ignored when working through financials. Be sure to consider all tax implications of whatever arrangement you come to on spousal support.  If you don’t you may find yourself paying crippling amounts of taxes and living off very little even though the actual spousal support amount was what you had agreed on to begin with..

Discuss a time limit or other alimony options

Explore the option of temporary alimony to help you spouse get back into the workforce or stabilize financially. In some cases, a lump sum alimony may be what works better for you – discuss this option with your divorce attorney and financial adviser. Agree on a timeframe for alimony payment even if it is not court mandated.

Think of alternatives

You don’t always need to pay out huge sums in spousal support if you can come to some other agreement,. For instance, your spouse may be okay to accept a lower or temporary alimony if they get to keep the family home.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Do your homework

If you choose to engage the services of a child custody divorce mediation attorney or counselor, you should do your homework. Have in place details on the kids school holidays, exams, major events. Print a copy of your work, business and personal commitments as well.

Meet a counselor before you begin the process

Many divorce attorneys suggest that their clients meet with a counselor well versed with dealing with individuals going through a divorce. A counselor will help you get in touch with your emotions and help you work through the challenges. He or she can also help guide you on how to conduct yourself during child custody mediation as well as in court. This will make the mediation itself a more fruitful exercise. You need to ensure you come across as articulate and reasonable during mediation, but most importantly as someone who is flexible.

Chalk up options for the parenting plan

As part of divorce mediation, you may choose to opt for child custody mediation to work through the details and arrive at a mutually agreeable arrangement. Having a structured parenting plan in place with details on the sharing of time with the children on a day to day basis helps bring perspective. By clarifying how holidays and trips/vacations away will be handled, as well as openly discussing other routine arrangements for the kids, you can come up with a comprehensive solution. This transforms what could be a difficult time into a team effort where you both work to decide what’s best for the kids. At the same time not everything you want will go down well with your soon to be ex. Have a plan B in place and other acceptable solutions which may not be ideal, but are good enough.

Bring an open mind to the discussions

You will want to air your views and ensure your agenda is carried forward, but child custody mediation is as much a time for listening. Listen to what your spouse and the mediator have to say. Understand their perspective and be willing to adjust a little. If you come with preconceived notions and are not open to suggestion, your route to a court battle is all but cast in stone.

Always remember this is about the children and not you

It helps to bring perspective every now and then during a divorce mediation process. And nothing is more sobering than the knowledge that getting into petty squabbles with your husband or wife, and resorting to mudslinging will shatter your children. Remember this and keep your head and humor through the mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Not being honest about financial information

For the divorce process to move along smoothly, do not cover up or try and hide information on assets, income and marital debt. Be sure your estimates for expenses accurately reflect your expected life after divorce. Remember, as part of divorce litigation you may be requested to share some information in the discovery stage of the process. Should this occur you will be obliged, by law, to disclose all information. If you try and hide some information which your spouse’s divorce lawyer discovers later, it could be used against you in court.

Working from the heart

As much as marriage and love are affairs of the heart, divorces need to be worked out with the mind. Emotions can – and will – get the better of you even if you had hoped for the most amicable parting of ways ever. It is ideal to work through the details of questions likely to be discusses, including contentious issues, with your attorney or a counselor before you sit down to work out an agreement with your spouse and their divorce attorney.

Expecting too much

Be realistic in your expectations. The truth is that the benefits you had by combining both your incomes or even managing one household on a single income will go away when you try and split up the funds. Both sides will need to accept that some degree of financial cut back on lifestyle will need to happen.

Not knowing what you have

Doing your groundwork in preparation for the divorce proceedings is important. Keep an inventory of assets – be sure to include all valuable possessions, not just the obvious big ones like property and cars. If you go in uninformed, an estranged spouse and their attorney could well give you a deal with less than your fair share and you will be none the wiser. Equally important is estimating accurately your future expenses, and keeping in mind the tax implications of all these decisions.

Not putting things in writing

During a divorce, verbal agreements are not enough. If your spouse and you come to an agreement on any issue, in a personal conversation, be sure to have to recorded or drawn up into an agreement or a legal document. For instance, you might have decided that you would accept lower spousal support in exchange for getting the proceeds or ownership of a shared property. Later, you could wind up with lower alimony and just half your share of property if you haven’t drawn it up formally.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Mandated Divorce Mediation

When a couple decides that the best way to end their relation is going through a divorce, the courts will still, irrespective of the predicament and mutual feelings, require the spouses to attend mediation. This type of mediation is known as mandated mediation. The mandate to this mediation is given to them by the courts.

This type of mediation is unlike a private Orange County divorce mediation which will be discussed later in this blog. In this mediation, first up, there is a review of the divorce file by the mediator. The mediator in this case, is appointed by the court. Once they have gone through the file, the mediator will then have a short question and answer session with the spouses to identify the primary issues. Once that is done and the mediator is aware of the situation, they will give time to the spouses to come to a mutual agreement between themselves before a formal trial.

The agreement in a mandated divorce need not be on all the core issues and be a comprehensive document. Instead, even agreement on one of the core issues such as child custody, property, etc, is welcomed. This kind of mediation is often left wanting because of its constraints of time.

Private Divorce Mediation

Private divorce mediation on the other hand, is considerably different to mandated divorce. First up, this kind of divorce mediation is not enforced on the spouses by the courts. Instead, this kind of mediation is chosen by the spouses themselves to solve their issues related to divorce. Secondly, unlike a mandated divorce, the mediator will often take a back seat in such proceedings. Instead, they like to let the spouses take center stage.

In a private mediation, the spouses have the utmost authority whether it’s related to the timing of the divorce, the length of the proceedings, the resolution of issues, etc. They get to dictate the speed with which the mediation will go and in most cases, also the schedule of mediation. On top of that, most importantly, a private divorce mediation is not a step or a stage in a divorce proceeding. It is a divorce process, stand alone on its own.

Hence, the spouses will have to come up with a comprehensive resolution in this case which is mutually successful for the mediation to end.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Commonly, it is said that divorce mediation is like a jigsaw puzzle, largely because much like a jigsaw puzzle, a number of the pieces seem unable to fit together at first glance. Hence, spouses approach their mediation one piece at a time, paying close attention to the little pieces that they hold, while never truly letting the entire puzzle out of sight.

On the other hand, much to our surprise, divorce litigation is often considered a game of chess. But why? It’s because in a game of chess, there are two warring parties that make use of every means necessary to meet their expectations. Most importantly chess is a game where one party wins and the other loses. This highlights how mediation can never be chess, since chess is not played alone. Even the king and the queen are flanked on either side by loyalists, just as you have your lawyers by your side in a divorce case.

Hence, drawing this parallel between the two highlights how mediation and litigation are different.

Another Round of Explanations

If you are uncomfortable with the jigsaw puzzle analogy for Orange County divorce mediation, the process can also be referred to as dentistry. Since much like a dentistry procedure, the patients i.e. the spouses come to mediation to either relieve themselves of pain or to make sure that they don’t have to experience further pain and suffering.  On that note, perhaps parallels can be drawn.

Yet, despite the analogies being drawn, what is divorce mediation? Mediation is a procedure that empowers the spouses. It decreases the conflict between them. These are all the common statements made about mediation and all of them are correct. Yet the question of what mediation is remains unanswered.

What is Mediation?

Simply put, Orange County divorce mediation is a process whereby both the spouses agree to discuss their differences and reach a resolution about them instead of fighting over them through their lawyers in front of a judge.

The thing about mediation is the authority and autonomy that it gives to the spouses. The process of mediation is designed to ensure that spouses, people whose futures are at stake, get to take hold of and make decisions in their own divorce case.

Hence, in a mediated divorce, the job of the mediator is to keep the spouses on the right track, advise them regarding the law and to make sure their tensions don’t boil over. Everything else, such as discussing and coming to a mutually acceptable resolution on the issues, is up to the spouses themselves.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Both a mother and a father can be the one earning the cash before the couple got a divorce and hence it is entirely possible for a father to get child support from a mother.

Who Is Entitled To Child Support?

Neither a mother nor a father is guaranteed to receive child support at the outset. Who receives the child support will largely depend on the parent who has the primary custody of the child and the income of the parties. So for a father to be in a position to get child support order in their favor from the family law court, they may need to have primary custody of the child and likely also earn less than the mother.

Getting Primary Custody

The first step in getting child support for a father will need them to get primary custody of the child.  The family law court will decide on the parent who gets to keep the custody of the child and make the important decisions based on the best interest of the child.

Proving That You Lack The Requisite Finances

It is one thing having the ability to give the child the life that is in their best interest and quite another actually providing it. If you were financially dependent on the child’s mother for the running of the household during the time you were married. You will need to prove that to the court. Once the court is satisfied with this notion they will look to an estimate of the child’s expense, your earning if any and the earning of your spouse and their expenses before passing the child support order based on that.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Here are some pointers to help you zero in on the right divorce mediator for your needs.

Check their credentials

It is important that your divorce mediator be suitably trained to handle mediations of this nature. Check where they took their basic mediation course and whether they have any specialization in family mediation. Do a little digging to understand the reputation and rigor of the body that conducted the course. Check if they had a co-mediation stint or apprenticeship of some kind as part of their mediation training. It is perfectly acceptable to request to see their mediation certificate (a copy should be alright).

But don’t rely on qualifications alone

Simply hiring someone with an LLM or a PhD doesn’t mean you’ve got an expert mediator. Find out about their background and expertise. How long have they been mediating divorce cases? How many cases have they handled in total? See if they have had success with cases similar to your own. Check if they are actively involved in the activities of the mediation community and are genuinely committed to their field of work.

Go with someone you will be confident in and comfortable around

The softer side of things, and one that’s hard to define, is the vibe you get when you are talking to the divorce mediator. If he/she inspires confidence and makes you feel relaxed and at ease to open up, then they may be a good choice. You need to feel free to speak without fear of judgement, and to someone who will listen with an open mind.

Ask for references

When it comes to divorce mediation, it is a good idea to go to someone tried and tested. If you have the option, use someone referred to you by a friend or family member or someone known to them. It is more likely you will find them easier to work with.

Know your personal preferences

With divorce mediation being relatively less regulated, there are no hard and fast rules on who can be a divorce mediator. You could go the route of choosing a therapist as a mediator, someone who can help you deal with the emotional challenges that come with the divorce, as they guide you and your spouse towards an agreement. Alternatively, you could pick a legal expert – a divorce mediator with a legal background, someone who can help structure a legally valid and fair agreement.

Use a specialized firm

A firm more specialized in divorce mediation comes with the added expertise of understanding financial ramifications of a divorce. They also tend to be more neutral and fair when it comes to meditation on areas like parenting, ensuring both sides get a fair deal and the family walks away stronger. The teams at such firms are well trained at helping estranged couples find some common ground so they can move forward towards a settlement without resorting to a trial.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Divorce Mediation

During divorce mediation, a neutral third party who is a mediation expert is called upon to work with the couple and their attorneys. He/she guides the pair towards an agreement and has the final divorce settlement agreement signed off. This makes things a lot less sticky for you and your spouse as things are handled without much mud slinging – vital if you foresee having to interact with your spouse in future as well, especially if you have kids together. The process is discreet and isn’t as expensive as going to trial. You also have a say in the final agreement, unlike when the court decides based on the presented evidence in a divorce trial. Just have your divorce attorney go over it with a fine toothed comb to make sure it is drafted properly and is watertight as far as the law is concerned.

Collaborative Divorce

In a collaborative divorce, both husband and wife must sign agreements with attorneys, that also mentions that the attorneys must withdraw and new attorneys must be signed on if the litigation is jeopardized in any manner or a settlement is not reached. You will have discussions with your attorney, your spouse with theirs, and then you will meet with them and your spouse together. The idea is to arrive at a final agreement/settlement with the aid of your divorce attorneys. If a financial expert is needed, a divorce financial planner is called upon. When a final agreement is mutually agreed on, you are typically required to go before a judge in court where he/she will sign off, making the agreement legally binding. Not unlike mediation, disclosures are purely voluntary, so a spouse may try and conceal assets.

Divorce Litigation

Divorce litigation is not as unusual as the name might indicate. In fact, this is becoming the norm for most divorcing couples today. The bulk of such divorces are settled out of court without actually going to trial, so don’t be scared off by the word litigation. You will, as in the case of divorce mediation or a collaborative divorce, require the services of a divorce attorney. This is a safe route if you suspect your spouse of concealing assets, being domineering, or if you have been the victim of domestic violence or abuse. And that’s because there is a legal mechanism which your attorney will exercise to make it mandatory for your spouse to respond to specific lists, disclose assets and share information. It also allows you to make a case for yourself and with the help of an experienced divorce attorney who is skilled at negotiations, get a fair deal.

Going It Alone

Divorce is an alienating experience on its own, without adding the pressure of managing the paperwork and legal side of things by yourself. When it comes to things close to your heart, deciding the fate of things that were once part of your shared life, emotions can run high. The calm, balanced perspective of a third party – your divorce attorney can bring a measure of structure to things.

In addition, should you find yourself embroiled in heavy arguments and if you are unable to come to a mutually agreeable plan with your now estranged spouse, a divorce attorney who is well versed with divorce mediation and trial proceedings can help swing things your way. More than anything else, knowing you have a shoulder to lean on, and someone with the right legal expertise by your side, you will sleep easier.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Be prepared – mentally and emotionally

How effective the divorce mediation is for you to get what you want – whether it relates to finances, property, or even the custody of your children – hinges on how well prepared you are. Having a run through of sensitive topics before you actually get into a joint session will be crucial to how you conduct yourself during a face to face meeting with your estranged partner.

Your divorce attorney or a friend can help you go over this through some role play so you know how you will handle some of the tougher questions that come your way. It will also help you prepare valid logical points to support your stance, something you may find hard to do on the fly in the heat of the moment.

Make a list

Make a master list of all items you own both individually and jointly. Besides bigger items like property and vehicles and bank accounts, insurance policies and investments, you will also need to carefully list out high value household electronics, art and jewelry.

Set priorities, and prepare for a little give-and-take

Know what your must-haves are, which you will not compromise on no matter what. Have a secondary list of items which you may be willing to let go off, or trade for some accommodations made by your spouse. Also know the easy wins that you can give your spouse to secure some bigger wins for yourself.

Have all your documents ready

It is likely you will need to discuss finances and income details. Put together a dossier of all relevant information on anything that is likely to come up in the mediation. You will find yourself on stronger footing if you are armed with all the information to back you up.

Get the right help

Hiring a good divorce attorney can make all the difference, especially when it comes to divorce mediation. An experienced divorce lawyer will be able to guide you through the process, explaining where you may need to compromise and helping you push back when you need to, so that you arrive at a settlement that is largely what you wanted.

Equally important is the divorce mediator you hire. Find someone with a good track record on helping couples reach amicable and lasting solutions. Understand their background, experience handling similar cases and don’t just rely on looking at their qualifications on paper.

With the right team and adequate homework, you stand a good chance of achieving the goals you set for yourself before the mediation began.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

There are a number of different aspects to an Orange County divorce case, and typically, a judge will make a number of different decisions in this regard. Some of the common areas of law and the power that the judges wield are outlined below.

How to Divide Property

One of the most important aspects in a divorce are issues of asset division.  If two spouses are unable to reach an independent agreement, the judge will take a look at the facts, listen to the arguments of both sides, and then decide who is entitled to what.  This decision will take into account the California community property laws.  The judge will need to take into account whether the property is community property or separate property.

Parenting Plan

Part of custody determinations is making a parenting plan.  The judge, in matters of parenting plans, will decide on issues that the parents are unable to agree upon. This could either be how the child-related decisions are made, how holidays will be celebrated, and how a parental move might affect these guidelines.

Spousal Support

For the court to rule in matters of spousal support, one of the spouses needs to raise the issue in front of the court. Typically, financially dependent spouses will bring the plea before the judge. In taking the decision of how much spousal support to grant, a judge will take into account the incomes of the parties, the ages of the parties, their health, their potential to earn, etc.

Child Custody

Children are obviously important aspects involved in divorce cases.  Both of the spouses usually want to have their child live with them. Yet, the final decision will always be made by the judge if not made by the parties. This decision is often the mostly hotly contested and there are a number of things that a judge takes into account when deciding this issue. The most important consideration that they make is the child’s best interest. Wherever the best interests of the child lie, the custody will be awarded.

Child Support

Unlike spousal support, paying child support is often mandatory if sought. Yet, the rate of child support, the schedule of monthly payments and what would amount to a perfect monthly child support amount are all decisions that will be taken by an Orange County family law judge.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

The role of forensic accountants in an Orange County divorce case is often underestimated and few people recognize the importance that they have. Often the first question that is asked when an accountant is called in a divorce case is why you need a forensic accountant in a divorce case.

Why are Forensic Accountants Needed?

• There are often situations especially in terms of child support determinations where the amount that each of the spouse earns is hard to determine. Often in cases where both the spouses are self employed such a situation may arise. Here the use of forensic accountants will ensure that they do an income analysis to determine the correct amount of child support that needs to be paid.
• They can also be used by the parent who has been handed a high child support payment. Who can make sure they provide their income analysis to back their claim of an unfairly high child support amount that should be reduced.
• Similar to child support, even in issues of spousal support it can be hard to determine the correct spousal support payment. Here once again the use of income/cash flow analysis will be made by the forensic accountant to determine the correct amount.
• For self-employed spouses that own their own business entities, it will be hard for the courts to gauge the valuation of the business and its assets. A forensic accountant knows the appropriate methods used to determine the value of a company and will outline that value to the court.
• In a number of cases separate property and community property are not kept apart from one another and they are often either mixed together or used side by side. Here, tracing of what and what proportion originates from the community property and what originates from the separate property can require an expert determination from a forensic accountant.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

What Is Parental Gate Keeping?

Parental gate keeping is actually a term taken from psychology.  In the context of family law, it is basically defined as measures taken by the parents to protect their children from perceived, actual or manufactured harm. While the second category of gate-keeping can be justified, the last one is outright malicious by the practicing parent.

Combating Parental Gate-Keeping

•      Be Child Centered

As you have read above, the definition of parental gate keeping highlights the reasoning of its use. The use is to protect the child. When then talk is about a child in a divorce case, the judges will always look towards the best interest of the child. For that to go in your favor the strategy you adopt as well as your behavior needs to be child-centered, making sure that the child is kept at the center of your divorce case.

•      Keep a Watchful Eye on Court Order Violations

An order by the court is an important thing.  It needs to be followed and the judges expect nothing else. If you are able to see that the other parent under the guise of parental gate-keeping is violating the court orders, make note of those orders and put them in front of the court for them to decide.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Attempt to arrive at an agreement: If you are now facing the challenge of going through a divorce litigation, this means that other means to come to an amicable solution with your estranged partner have failed. However be sure that you have done all you can to come up with a reasonable or at the very least a realistic solution that the other party will likely agree too.

File a Petition for divorce: The first step is to file an Original Petition for Divorce identifying you and your spouse and naming any children who will be impacted by the divorce. The partner initiating the divorce is called the petitioner and the other the respondent. After the respondent is served the papers, they will need to respond within 30 days.

Get temporary orders: During this time you must find a good divorce attorney to represent you. If either party wants to get protective orders or restraining orders this is when it is to be done. Some couples may request a temporary order to permit or prevent access to funds or property as well as determine temporary possession of minor children, and provide for child support and spousal support.

Discovery: 

• This phase begins with disclosures – documentary requests sent by attorneys representing both parties, requesting specific items/response, to be closed out within 30 days.
• A ‘Request for Production’ will also be made, where documents are obtained by attorneys for their clients using this legal mechanism. This includes but is not limited to statements of income and bank statements among other things. Be prepared to encounter major delays at this phase as your spouse and his/her attorney do not produce the documents needed. Be patient and wait it out, this delay tactic is normal.
• You will also be called upon by the attorney of your spouse, to make a deposition and your lawyer will take a sworn testimony from your spouse as well. It is important to understand that anything said during this deposition is permissible for use in court, so choose your words carefully.

Divorce mediation

This process is used to help both parties arrive at an agreeable solution out of court. Failure to arrive at an agreement will result in the course going to court. It is important to engage the services of an experienced divorce mediation attorney to give yourself a shot at getting the best possible deal in this otherwise difficult time.

Trial

If you are among the relatively small number of people whose divorce goes to trial, work closely with your divorce attorney to understand how to conduct yourself in court. Prepare a strong case and handle yourself well to improve your chances of a favourable outcome. You will be called on to testify under oath, and after examining all the evidence, the judge will arrive at a decision and make both you and your spouse sign off on a decree of divorce. Details relating to division of property, custody of the kids, any child or spousal support that is to be paid, as well as other contested areas, will be stipulated.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

High conflict in this situation means not only the spouses that don’t like spending time with each other or quite simply don’t get along. High conflict here means situations where both spouses hold hostility against one another to a high level.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting a relatively new concept of parenting that is largely dependent on the older methods of parenting only that it is with very little communication between the spouses. As the name suggests parallel parenting allow the spouses to detach from one another after their divorce. How does decision making work? In this case, each parent is in charge of the decisions they take as long as they are in custody of the child and need not have any communication or consultation with other spouses.

A Parenting Plan with no Contact?

How can it be possible that there is a no contact parenting plan in place? It is impossible because that can practically not exist. In a parallel parenting plan there is a minimal level of direct contact with the other parent but these are usually short, cold and to the point.

A Coordinator for Parenting

Sometimes even the least bit of direct contact with other party post-divorce can lead to a conflict such is the level of hate between the two spouses. In cases like these the courts can appoint a parenting coordinator. These coordinators will typically be assigned with special duties to perform and will be given special privileges to do their tasks. One of the tasks of these coordinators is to help the spouses communicate with the other on child related matters using the coordinator as a medium.

Is it Any Good?

In high conflict cases where the court might one parent with primary custody and the other parent with the right to visitation, it makes co-parenting difficult. This ultimately affects the children involved in the divorce more than anyone else. Hence to counter that and to ensure that each of the parents are able to enjoy the custody of their child even if they can’t stand one another, there is the option of a parallel parenting plan.  however, this is never as good as a co-parenting arrangement where the parties can work together.  It should only be a last resort.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

When a person goes through divorce mediation there are a number of good changes that are felt on the person’s life.  This blog will talk about some of those good changes that mediation leaves on your life.

·         Cordial/Healthy Relationship with the Other Spouse

What sets divorce mediation apart from litigation proceedings is the fact that mediation is all about consultative decision making between the spouses. Irrespective of the extent of their differences, the spouses themselves will need to talk and agree on a mutually acceptable solution. The role of the divorce mediator in such a situation is simply to keep the spouses from fighting one another and to keep the mood of the mediation peaceful.

This when put in practice means that despite ending their relationship, spouses will have cordial and amicable relations post-divorce. They will be able to consult one another at numerous junctures if they want.

·         A Happy Childhood for Your child

All a parent wants is to make sure that their child is kept out of harm’s way and remains happy. If you are a parent you’ll understand that when going through a divorce, children can be exposed to a number of pains and emotional torments not least one where they see their parents battling out against the other.

On the other hand, Orange County divorce mediation allows the parents to sit on a table and resolve their issues, chief among which will almost always be the child’s future. The parents can mutually decide the best interest of the child and safeguard their future while keeping them away from the toxic atmosphere of divorce litigation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The stress from such a divorce that goes on and on and shows no sign of stopping can be immense. You may even be thinking how bad your decision to go into a litigated divorce was and whether there is anything that you can do to end this ordeal.

Being Careful Of A Legal Mess

When there is a legal mess, a financial mess is often nearby. The situation that you find yourself in can be categorized as a legal mess. There are divorce lawyers churning you for your cash, the case going no faster and the other spouse is feeling the exact same feeling as you of stress and angst at the litigation going out of hand.  In such situations, what you need to do is ensure that you take care in how your case proceeds and voice your concerns with your lawyer.

Getting Divorced Without Lawyers

If your spouse is going through the same ordeal as you are, it’s time you approach the other spouse and mutually decide to mediate the case. This process ensures that the two spouses are in charge of the procedure.  The format of this divorce is simple.  It involves you and your spouse to talk out the issues that you face with one another. Both of you have decide on the details of the divorce agreement such as property division, custody of the child, spousal support, etc. with the guidance of an Orange County divorce mediator. The mediator is a complete third party in this arrangement and is only tasked with keeping the situation during the mediation cordial and to guide you in terms of laws. They will have no bearing whatsoever on the decision that you take.  The mediator is there to help settle the case, not to keep it going indefinitely.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The choice of whether to out for divorce mediation or traditional litigation is an important one, since it concerns the procedure that you will opt to end your relation with your spouse. It has added significance because whatever decisions you take will have a significant effect on how your future will be.

The best way to choose between the two is to take a look at the 4 critical areas of a divorce and how each works and then decide for yourself.

Child Custody

When you hire a divorce lawyer and so do your spouse, the two will battle it out in court in front of the judge to prove each party’s worth and ability to have the child. This simply means that you are putting the future of your child in the hands of someone who does not really know you, your spouse, or your child.  Are you comfortable with that?

If you opt for divorce mediation on the other hand, you will be able to talk to your spouse under the guidance of a mediator about the child’s future. Children are the most important things in your life and mediation allows parents to amicably sort out mutually acceptable parenting plans to follow.

Alimony/Spousal Support

When you go through a divorce especially since you are a “work-at-home” mom who spent her time trying to run the household instead of earning money, you will be entitled to spousal support. This award that has to be paid by the other spouse is awarded in litigation as well as a right in mediation. In divorce mediation where both of parties decide it, the amount to be paid may be fairer to both parties.

Division of Assets

Litigation will involve the spouse fighting with one another to get the proper division of assets, which ultimately will be decided by a third party judge if not resolved by the parties.  Divorce mediation on the other hand allows the spouse to mutually decide their property affairs among themselves more quickly and cost-effectively.

In the end, divorce mediation can accomplish what divorce litigation usually works out, but at a quicker pace and lesser cost, which allows parties to move on with their lives more quickly and focus on the children rather than a lengthy divorce case that goes on for months or even years.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The two most important individuals in a divorce case in those two respective ways mentioned above after the parties and the judge are a lawyer and a divorce mediator. Both of them though similar in importance are poles apart from one another in all other aspects.

Here is a comparison of the two leading professionals in different types of divorces.

How many are needed in a divorce case?

• In a case of divorce mediation, there is a need for only one mediator.
• However, a case of litigated divorce will need at least 2 lawyers.

What roles do they play in the divorce process?

• The fact that there are two parties and two lawyers in a case of divorce highlight that each of the party is represented by a different lawyer. Their job quite simply put is to fight on behalf of their client in front of the judge using arguments to ensure that their party gets the best possible result.
• A mediator on the other hand is neutral. They are not tasked with taking sides of either party. Instead the word mediation comes from the word middle, i.e. they need to stay neutral throughout the conversation between the two spouses. They are tasked with keeping the spouse on track and working for the solution. However they cannot influence or dictate the solution in any way.

How do they approach their job?

• The task of a lawyer is to advise their clients as to the legal steps or actions that they should take and what they should do.
• The task of a mediator is simpler; they only have to provide the clients with information as to the rules of divorce and financial information about the parties to help the spouses reach a mutual decision.

Time period for completion

• A divorce that is fought by lawyer in the courts will typically type anywhere around 12 months to 36 months to complete.
• On the other hand, a mediated divorce is typically much faster and can usually conclude in 4 to 6 months depending on the issues before the parties and their level of disagreement.

Outcome Certainty

• When you go into a lawyer-driven divorce, there is absolutely no guarantee of which side will win and which side will lose, since the decision depends on one man only and he or she is the judge.
• In a divorce that has an Orange County divorce mediator, there is no one winner. Both the spouses are in charge of the final decision and hence both parties end up winning.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

• Giving the other party sufficient written notice of your intent to take the children on vacation.  At least 30 days prior notice is advisable, although the parties can agree on any time period.  Informing the other parent with sufficient advance notice allows the parties to address schedule changes ahead of time.

• Providing a written itinerary of when you will be leaving for vacation, when you will be returning, air flight information, and contact information for where you will be staying on vacation in the event of an emergency.

• Whether travel out of the state or out of the United States is permitted.  Once that is worked out, then any travel out of the state or out of the country with the children would require prior written consent of the other party or otherwise a court order.  Another issue to consider is whether travel outside the United States can be to a non-Hague Convention country.  The Hague Convention is basically a uniform international set of laws that address how child abduction in a country that formally recognizes the Hague Convention laws, which allows for a systematic way to deal with a child abduction based on one set of laws.  If a child abduction occurs in a non-Hague Convention country, a parent is beholden to the laws and legal system of that country which can be very difficult to deal with.  Therefore, look up the list of Hague Convention countries should you or your ex-spouse decide to travel out of the country with the children to determine whether such travel is agreeable.

• Determine the number of weeks each parent can vacation with the children, and whether the weeks can be consecutive (back-to-back) or one week at a time only.  If you are planning to travel out of the country, especially to visit family, one week will probably not be enough time for such a vacation.

• Determine if there are certain activities that will not be permitted during the vacation, such as para-sailing, offroad dirt biking, etc., that would be considered dangerous.

Remember that being reasonable and considerate of the other parent concerning these issues will go a long way in co-parenting with your ex-spouse. After all, if you are not willing to allow the other parent to travel out of the state with the children, then that parent is not going to be willing to work with you when you need some flexibility from them.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

A Long Wait

An English legal maxim says “Delay defeats Equity” which means that delay in the justice system hampers the rights of the individuals. Unfortunately the increasing number of people filing for divorce has increased the workload of the courts, causing undue delays. Imagine if you and your spouse have fights almost daily and living with them has proved to be an emotional burden for you. Would you want a faster divorce or one for which you have to wait?

You would of course want a divorce that is fast, allowing you to move on with your life as soon as possible. This is where Orange County divorce mediation comes into play. While courts have tons of procedures that take up time in addition to the delay. Orange County divorce mediation is a fast procedure where the two spouses will talk their differences out and come to a mutually conclusive decision.

The Cost

A divorce is a jolt to your financial situation. Having your assets divided up and your income shared between the two spouses can in itself be a cost. People who go through a divorce face an uncertain economic future, since the state of their finances is in the hands of the judge. These judges will typically have rules and procedures laid down which they will use to divide finances between the two spouses.

Unless the situation is as ideal as the one mentioned in the statute these financial situations are almost always favoring one party and a disadvantage to the other. In Orange County divorce mediation on the other hand, you are able to decide your cases and state of finances between yourself. Remember in mediation, no decision can be taken unless both spouses agree on it. This means the disadvantages spouse will have the chance of making the situation even.

In addition to that, court cases of divorce can be particularly costly in comparison to mediation. For a court case to run, you need to pay the case registration fees, the lawyer’s fees and any other fees that may be required during the course. In mediation however, the costs are much lower and can save parties from incurring substantial debt funding legal fees.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Sometimes this emotional torment can be turned by the spouse on one another, leading to high conflict in divorce. These divorces where the spouses despise one another and fight against one another at every given outlet are known as high conflict divorces. Typically these divorce cases are dealt with in family law courts. But, they can also be peacefully solved through divorce mediation.

Here are a few steps on how a high conflict divorce can be peacefully settled through mediation.

The mediator should outline how the parties control the outcome of their case and life

In divorce mediation, the mediator keeps the atmosphere cordial and they need to talk to both of the spouses and tell them how they are in charge of their lives.

Knowing that their actions and coordination with one another will determine their future life will allow them to look towards setting aside their conflicts and ensuring that they are able to work with one another.

Let them vent their frustrations and then focus on moving forward

Another way that Orange County divorce mediators can use to calm the high conflict couple down and bring them to peaceful conversation is letting them vent their anger out. How much hate can a person express? Let each of the spouse say whatever they want, once they have said all that they can, they will have nothing inside left to say, making sure that they come to the table and talk with their spouse.

A little cooperation spares a future of problems

Lay down the time span it would take for them to get a divorce through traditional divorce litigation and how long will it take for them to get a divorce through Orange County divorce mediation. When you are dealing with couples in a high conflict divorce, to make spouses work towards an out-of-court divorce requires cooperation and motivation.  Mediators should point out that working with a purpose towards resolution will end their case more quickly and allow them to move forward without having to deal with the other spouse sooner.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Legal Custody

The word legal custody defines the authority to make the choices of behalf of a child that is a minor or has not yet reached an age where they can take such decisions.  The matters where legal custody can be exercised include a number of different aspects such as:

• Health
• Education
• Safety
• Decision on religion
• Welfare of the child, etc.

In most cases, the courts order joint legal custody, because both parents are seen to have the right to mutually make decisions regarding the health, education and welfare of their children.

Physical Custody

Whereas legal custody has to do with decision-making authority, physical custody actually involves the use of parenting time and being able to care for the children physically. In other words, which parent has the children when determines what the physical custody is.  Although there is no hard and fast rule, most judges label physical custody as “sole physical custody” where one parent has less than a 30% timeshare and “joint physical custody” if the other parent has at least 30% custodial timeshare.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Increasingly most people that have children involved in their divorces are looking to go into Orange County divorce mediation to end their relations instead of a litigated divorce. There are many reasons for this happening. One of the most important ones is because parents can make use of co- parenting to ensure that the child is taken care of at all times.

Despite the apparent importance of co parenting, it continues to be a subject that parents worry themselves about. This blog however gives parents who have gone through a divorce a few tips to help them unravel the mysteries of co-parenting.

1.     Communication

This is the most important thing needed in a healthy activity and a relationship at any time. The term co-parenting means that the two parents will have to work together in mutual consultation and agreement to ensure that the child is not made to feel the fact that their parents have gone through an Orange County divorce.  For all of these activities to work well, there will need to be sound communication between the two parents.

2.     Keep your Emotions to Yourself

Yes you have gone through an Orange County divorce, yes you may have issues with the spouse which is why you opted to end the relation however, do you think those emotions need to be regularly expressed day in and day out? Do you think when your spouse comes over or talks to you about the benefits of your child those emotions should come to the fore and dictate proceedings? The answer is no.  Bringing your emotions into the co parenting will only ruin the cordial atmosphere and prove a detriment to your children.

3.     Protecting Your Child from the Cross-Fire

There are often situations where the child can be caught up in between the cross fire of hate between their parents. This is the worst position for a child to find themselves in. One of the key’s to unlocking the mysteries of co parenting is putting the child head and shoulders above everyone and everything else. To take a leaf out of the family law in the State, there needs to be the “best interest of the child always at play.

Co-parenting is not one of the hardest things to succeed in life. In fact as far as reality is concerned it is one of the easiest. The thing about it though is that while it is designed to benefit the child, if the parents are unable to put their past behind it can haunt their children.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Is the court order at the time of divorce the final order, fixed for life and set in stone or are there some ways that a person can look to reduce the spousal support that is awarded to the other spouse? The answer is that yes, spousal support can be reduced.

The first step is to understand and analyze the spousal support order

If you are planning to go to court and apply for a modification request, you first need to read and understand the spousal support order. You cannot simply go to court with a modification request on the original spousal support order not knowing what it is and hope that the courts rule in your favor.  Take a look at the support order, analyze it and check what if any provisions for modification (or non-modifiability) are outlined in the order.

The second step is to analyze the change of circumstances of your spouse since the last order

One of the most important reasons for a modification or reduction in spousal support is largely dependent upon the changing circumstances of spousal support. Changing circumstances simply means how the current condition of the spouse is different from when the spousal support was ordered. There are many types of such changes. Some of the most common ones are:

• You income having fallen below the level that it was when the spousal support was ordered
• There has been a significant increase in the income of your ex-spouse who is receiving spousal support
• Your ex-spouse has started to cohabitate with another member of the opposite sex

The last step is proving your claim through evidence

The first and the second step come down to how well you perform in this step. Once you have identified having had a change of circumstances and analyzed what the order asked you to do and what not to do. What you need to see is whether your grounds of circumstances are actually true. This needs to be shown through proper documents which can include financial documents and testimony.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Bullying can make the already stressful circumstances of divorce even more difficult. It may manifest in several forms, whether subtle or more aggressive. Some examples are when one spouse threatens to take custody of the children, hires a lawyer with the intention to intimidate, exhibits extreme control or coerces their partner into making an agreement. Mediation can be effective in helping to cope when one spouse becomes a bully during divorce proceedings.

A skilled mediator can help navigate a divorcing couple through tense and emotional situations.  Mediation allows the opportunity to equalize the power and amount of control each spouse has. They can then have constructive discussions that focus on problem-solving in a neutral setting.

Divorce bullies may try to rush proceedings with the intention of forcing their spouse into a potentially disadvantageous arrangement. For example, they could claim the divorce needs to be finalized quickly for the sake of the children. In the highly publicized divorce case of actor Terrence Howard, the judge called him a bully for his behavior in court. However, he still ruled in Howard’s favor regarding a spousal support dispute with his ex-wife Michelle Ghent.

Unlike litigation in which couples battle in court using various tactics against each other, mediation promotes conflict management in a more peaceful setting.  The mediation process allows divorcing spouses to take the time to negotiate so that assets are divided fairly and decisions are made with everyone’s best interests in mind.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

December has historically had a lower number of divorce filings. Although couples may be thinking about divorce, they are often reluctant to break up during Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas or New Year, because they want to avoid additional stress during the already stressful holiday season. In addition, couples with children may choose to have one last holiday together as a family.

Divorce is painful and traumatic any time of the year that you file, but for divorcing parents it is generally a good idea not to disrupt the holiday season as children are likely to feel the impact of the split much more during that time.  Also, you do not want to create a memory for your children that you filed for divorce around Christmas-time, a sad reminder that they will recall for the rest of their lives.

The start of the New Year is generally considered the busiest time for divorces. However, research by FindLaw.com in 2012 indicated the overall divorce rate starts to surge starting in January until it peaks in late March. The legal information website collaborated with research service Westlaw to analyze divorce filings across the nation from 2008 to 2011. They also found that Internet searches for divorce-related information increased 50 percent from December through March.

Financial factors such as income tax and yearend bonuses can also affect the timing of a divorce. A person’s marital status as of the end of the year determines whether they will file joint taxes or an individual return for the past year. Separating couples also tend to decide their approach to the divorce — whether it is litigation or mediation — during the three-month period after December.

Besides family dynamics, finances also come into play in divorces. The holiday season can be an especially expensive time of year with Christmas shopping.  So it is important to note that in contrast to a traditional litigated divorce, mediation can drastically reduce costs for couples who can work through their issues together in a conflict-free setting.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Ending a relation is not the easiest thing to do in life, harder is ending a relationship that was pledged to last a life time. After a divorce irrespective of whether it was a divorce mediation or litigation, your life is at a stop.  You may have resources to help you live through the future but the life after divorce is much like walking in an unknown lane.

Yet, as with everything else in life, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Once you have gone through divorce and have started to live life, you will look back at your divorce and recall the lessons that you have learnt.

There are many lessons that you learn from the way you handled yourself in divorce and the life after it. Some of these are highlighted below.

·        Only your family and best friends stand by you when you are at the lowest point

When you go through a divorce there are many times when you will find yourself down and out, struggling in life. At those times the only people that are typically with you to give you solace and to comfort you are your family and true friends.

·        I can achieve so much in life without the other spouse knocking down my efforts

Sometimes in marriage, one of the spouses can be prevented from reaching their true potential because of the negativity of the other spouse that stops them from achieving all that they should. Once they have gone through a divorce, they may realize the potential that they have.

·        Realizing the value of your kids and the importance of parenting

When you go through a divorce and the thought of not being able to see your child each and every day comes to your mind you may feel empty inside. Living life post divorce can show you the amount of things that you took for granted during your married life need to be respected, admired and cherished.

·        Seeing how strong you really are

Going through a divorce is no easy task; the harder task is actually recovering from it, leaving it in the past and starting a new life. This is important since it shows you how powerful and emotionally and mentally strong you can be.

So it is important to reflect on the divorce, learn from it, and focus on what you have and what the future can hold.  Reflecting only on the failure of your marriage and thinking negatively will not let you move forward and live the best possible life you can.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

The decision about the method to choose and which one to ditch will typically depend on a number of different factors; one of which is the cost of the process. The fact that divorce mediation is cheaper than its litigated counterpart is a well publicized fact. But do you know what really makes up the costs of divorce mediation?

What Does the Cost of Mediation Depend on?

You’ll be surprised to know that the hourly rate of a divorce mediator only makes up a portion of this. Then what really makes up the cost of divorce mediation if not the hourly rate of the mediator alone? The list is as follows:

• The experience, skill level and the competence level of the mediator
• The thoroughness of the service provided

The experience, skill level and the competence level of the mediator

There are a number of divorce mediators available in each county.  While some of them are qualified and learned in the art of mediation others are almost laymen at the work and may not be able to give you the best service. Such people who lack in expertise and knowledge may try and make up for it in cheaper rates. Hence the type of expertise, skill and competence of the mediator will typically dictate the rate that they charge and affect the overall cost of mediation.

The thoroughness of the Service Provided

The depth of the service provided by the divorce mediator will truly dictate the expenses. Sometimes all a mediator will do is preside over the mediation and do nothing. They will let the spouse argue, quarrel, settle the case and fight against one another as long as they are able to get their payments on time. This is typically a dangerous approach. If you want a thorough divorce mediation it might cost you more than usual.

The factors mentioned above are some of the things that have an effect on the cost of Orange County divorce mediation. Mediation is important to ensure that you not only get a low cost divorce but as much as that, you are able to have a peaceful end to your divorce. Getting divorced is often the hardest decision you will make in your life, hence it is important that you ensure that you choose the right method.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The parents not having the primary custody of the child continue to have certain rights that can be enforced in the court if there is a violation. Parental alienation is one such way of interfering where the custodial spouse stops or hinders with the other spouses’ right of visitation.

Following the Law

California family law is simple and abundantly clear. Both the parents are legally given the right to enjoy frequent and continued association and contact with the child. This law needs to be followed until and unless the courts overrule it citing the best interest of the child.

The Common Types of Alienation

There are many types of parental alienation that you can go to court for. Some of them are highlighted below.

• Not staying in line with the agreed pick and drop timings and looking to waste time in the handover of the children to the non custodial spouse.
• Eating up the allocated time of the non-custodial parent’s visitation by planning activities and programs with the children without prior permission of the non custodial parent.
• Creating discontent and or a feeling of hatred inside the children to not see the other spouse after the divorce. This could even be in the case where the custodial spouse encourages the child to not want to meet with the other parent.
• Making false, bias and uncalled for allegations of neglect and abuse on the other spouse to demean them in front of the children.
• The other spouse taking the important decisions in the child’s life such as schooling, medical care etc. without the consultation of and the agreement of the other party.
• Refusing to share the parenting responsibilities with the other spouse.

What Can A Non-Custodial Spouse Do?

The family law has been highlighted above which clearly shows that it is the right of a parent irrespective of whether they have custody or not to keep in contact with the child. In this case, if you are a non-custodial spouse and your rights of visitation are being impeded, you can seek for the family law court to protect your rights.  The courts will then make sure that they rule against the other spouse and enforce your rights. In case of falsified accusations of abuse, the courts may change the custody order.  However, it is very important to understand that the issue of parental alienation is a complicated one and to expect a quick resolution to the issue is unrealistic.  It is highly likely that parental reunification counseling between the child and the parent who was the victim of parental alienation will need to occur over a period of time, and it is possible that a minor’s counsel for the child will need to be appointed too.  Unfortunately, this can take time to work and resolve, and patience and persistence are a necessity during the process.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

When you have been in a long-term marriage, you will know your spouse and even their family and friends inside out. A divorce that is litigated on the other hand will mean that each of the spouses will be using a divorce lawyer to fight against the opposing spouses lawyers. These will typically not end well since lawyers will go through each and every measure to ensure that their client has the upper hand even if it means demeaning of the other spouse.

Don’t leave it on a sour note

Having had a decade long relation of marriage means that you should ensure that you marriage does not end on a sour note. A long marriage means a number of memories, cherishable moments and a healthy relationship with your children. If you opt to go for litigation what you are doing is ultimately making sure that there are issues in your life with regards to your past life even once you have gone through divorce litigation.

This is primarily because a lawyer-led divorce can increase the amount of bitterness between the spouses; in some cases if the marriage has gone on long enough the children may be used to testify against the other spouse i.e. their parents. This will not hurt the family emotionally, but also leave a lasting impact on the children.

Choosing a Peaceful Way

If you are looking to end your marriage that has been going on for a long time, the best way to do that while ensuring the peace and integrity of both the spouses is maintained is going for Orange County divorce mediation. There many reasons why divorce mediation suits the divorce of your long standing relation. Here is a list of some of the many advantages that it offers.

• When you enter into divorce mediation, the power of decision making is with the spouses, which means that they can make decisions of their future themselves as long as it is mutually acceptable.
• What happens in mediation stays in mediation. This means that while the proceedings of the court and the court records are a matter open to the general public. In divorce mediation, whatever happens in the process stays between the two spouses and the mediator. Ensuring that modesty of the claimants as well as their self respect is maintained.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Typically when a client comes up to you and asks this question they are looking for a it will be quick answer. Whether that comes true or not will depend largely on how cooperative and conflict free your spouse is.

What happens in cases where you don’t have such a spouse? Well simply put, in such cases no lawyer can typically answer the question of how long your divorce case will take. Especially in cases where the other spouse is hell bent on stretching the divorce case. However, there are ways to combat these delays and make sure that your divorce case is resolved quickly.

Making Workable Settlement Offers

Before you start a divorce case, you need to figure out exactly what is it that you want. If you want to make sure that case resolves quickly, you need to be open to the possibility of making settlement offers. Settlement offers are attempts on your part to bring the other spouse on the table for discussion to try and agree a resolution to the case amongst them instead of it being decided by a judge.

Typically after the disclosures in the case have been made, you should look to engage the other spouse to settle the case. For that you should make sure that the settlement offer you make is enough to entice the other party top agree while not compromising on your own interests and prospects for the future. An amicable settlement agreement will usually result in the case being closed faster.

The Attorney Fee Motion

In some cases, attempts to try and settle the case fail because the other spouse is hell bent on trying to delay the case and churn out more and more attorney fees from you.  If the delays are unreasonable, it may be possible to seek sanctions and attorneys fees from that other spouse.  If successful, the amount of fees will be paid by the losing spouse in addition to their own attorney’s cost.

How long will the Case Take?

This is one of the hardest questions to answer. No divorce lawyer is able to accurately predict when the case would end. Yet, on an average if your divorce case is uncontested it will typically take 3-6 months, if it is contested it will take a year or two. Other complex cases with several disputes involved may takes years to end.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

In most situations once the first spouse has initiated the divorce proceedings the other spouse is able to tag along and go along with the idea of the relationship ending. Yet, there are some situations where despite one of the spouse looking to end the relation, the other spouse refuses to do so, instead opting to continue the relation.

The Dilemma

The dilemma in this regard arises when the couple is looking to go for divorce mediation. The process of mediation is one where the spouses have to converse with one another for the resolution of the disputes that they face. The solution and the ultimate breaking up of assets, children visitation and custody maters and even matters of spousal support are all decided mutually by the spouse with a mediator ensuring a smooth, cordial atmosphere.

The dilemma here is how do you do all that when there is a reluctant spouse who refused to get divorced? This dilemma is faced not so much so in divorce litigation faces because there the judge summons the other spouse to present their view point. In case of a no show, judges have the power to order in default. Is that fair? That is a discussion for another day.

The Solution

People don’t opt for litigation because while it may work in terms of the above mentioned scenario but it deprives the spouses of making decisions about matters that affect their lives. Hence, it is important in this regard to ensure that spouse opting for mediation as long as they want to keep some element of control over their lives.

But how do you make a reluctant spouse willing to participate in divorce mediation? There is no one way of doing so. Most of the steps outlined below can be used simultaneously or one after another.

• Show them that you understand their view point before putting your view point forward. This will help them understand that what you are saying may in fact be along the lines of their thought.
• Talk to them about the benefits of going through divorce mediation. Highlight how they will be able to control 50% of the decision and how nothing that they refuse to give assent will be made part of the resolution.
• If they insist on you giving the relationship another chance, respectfully outline to them how you think there is a no chance of the relationship mending and how you would want to end it on a cordial relation instead of a bitter one.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

These are some of the many questions that can come to mind of those persons going through a divorce.

Is my spouse entitled to half my business even when it’s a family business?

Some businesses are often predating the marriage and is a family business.  Typically in situations like this it can be difficult for the other spouse to be able to get half of that business since it was not made all by you in your marriage time. It predates your marriage and only the valuation of the time and effort and money you put into it will be halved and given to your spouse.  However, if you have a percentage interest in the business that was created during the marriage, the other spouse may in fact have an interest in half of that business.

What happens in situations where I have a business partner?

In situations where you own a company with others, the situation can become a little complicated in terms of the valuation and the characterization of the interests involved. In such situations, it will be necessary to determine your interest in the business and thereafter what that interest is worth, likely with the involvement of a forensic accountant.

Factors that the courts take into account when making the decision

There are several factors that the family law courts consider before deciding on whether the business should be divided up into half or not.

• Does the business predate the marriage? How long before it was the business started?
• How profitable was the business pre marriage and what assets did it have?
• Has the value of the business increased or decreased under the spouse?
• Did the value of the business increase because of the efforts of the spouse during marriage, or only because of market conditions?
• How long have the couples been married?

These are only some of the many factors that need to be considered if you are going through a divorce and you own a business.  It is advisable to seek legal advice in this situation to help you navigate through the process of dividing such a business.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Whatever decision you take in your Orange County divorce mediation will affect the way you live life. To ensure that you don’t end up ruining your financial future, here is low down on the 4 financial issues you need to take into account before going into a divorce.

1.     Are you able to make ends meet?

Most people are typically under the impression that divorce is a way to have more money at your disposal. That irrespective of it being an Orange County divorce mediation or litigation is not the case. I anything divorce creates an expense on you. Logically speaking, when you end up making one family life into two you are doubling the house rent, the utility bills and everything else. When you know the position you are financially in, you can make a better decision as to whether what you should bargain for in your mediation.

2.     If you want to stay in the house, how much will staying cost you?

People, especially kids are emotionally attached to homes. When you and your spouse decide to call it quits using Orange County divorce mediation, either of you, whoever the kids stay with longer will want to keep the home. Yet, keeping the home since it has sentimental value can cost you financially. Before you let your emotions overpower you, think about how much would the repairs and maintenance of the house would cost, how would the mortgage payments be made etc.

3.     Is your job stable?

Especially when you are considering payments of spousal and child support, this factor needs to be considered. The days when you could keep you job for life have long gone. Now, you can be terminated for the slightest of reasons. So before you and your spouse go one to make an Orange County divorce mediation resolution about spousal and child support. Think about the stability of your job.

4.     What will your divorce cost? And how much would it cost you to start a new life?

These are two financial aspects but since they are interconnected they have to be talked about together. When you choose an Orange County divorce mediation you are freeing yourself from the costly divorce concept. Mediations are cheap and affordable. With that out of the way, knowing how much your new life will cost you. Should help you negotiate the financial capabilities you want to take out of the Orange County divorce mediation resolution.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The decision of whether you should go for Orange County divorce or reconcile with your spouse is an important one since it will dictate the kind of future that you will have. But the fact that divorce has a social stigma attached to it means that even if a spouse is not willing to live with the other spouse it is not a decision that they can take willingly.  That however should not be the case. If you are not able to live with your spouse, divorce may seem a viable option.

Reasons to go for Reconciliation

·         Giving it another chance

Anybody can make a mistake. One mistake or even a few mistakes should not spell the end of anything, much less a marriage. If you think that things are not working between the two of you, you can always talk to your spouse and go for a therapy session where both of you can work on your marriage instead of opting for an Orange County divorce.

·         For the children’s welfare

For a child one of the worst possible things to experience in life is to have their parents go through an Orange County divorce and see to their family break apart. This will change the way life has been for them altogether.

Reasons to go for a divorce

·         Start afresh

If you feel that your life is stagnant and any and everything that you try between you and your spouse is not working, you need a fresh start that start will be given to you by an Orange County divorce. Getting a divorce will rid you of your spouse and the shackles of being married. Once you out you can start new and single, doing all things you wanted to do and achieve.

·         For the sake of the children

There is reason in the reconciliation section that is for the children. In most cases an Orange County divorce is also for the best interest of the children. The worst thing for the child to witness and one that can ruin their life forever is witnessing their parents fight out against one another, leveling allegations and displaying open hate. The only way to put a stop on it is to go for a divorce.

·         For safety and security

If you can prove that your spouse is an illegal drug addict or that they abuse you or the children or both mentally, physically and emotionally either or all, you can and should opt for a divorce. No relation is bigger than human life and well being. If you and your children fear for your safety with your spouse, an Orange County divorce is your protection from all such problems.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Researchers at the Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio, found that although overall divorce rates in the United States are falling, people aged 50 and over are now twice as likely to undergo divorce in comparison to 1990. The study also indicated that one out of four divorces in 2010 occurred in that age group.

Divorce is a difficult process at any age. Although seniors who choose to divorce may not face the same stressful child custody and support issues that younger couples may have, they will likely have to deal with major financial considerations.

During divorce proceedings, senior couples need to consider how to split retirement assets that are present in the marriage. Such assets continue to grow even after the divorce, and careful planning can help ensure that individuals receive their share of the payments. The rules governing the division of retirement accounts in California are complex and ever-changing.

With studies showing that remarriages have higher divorce rates, individuals would also benefit from getting a prenuptial agreement to protect assets. Without one, a second divorce can drain retirement savings that have already been divided once. A prenuptial agreement is a tool that enables an even post-marital distribution of assets to avoid conflict.

No matter the age of the divorcing spouses, they should try to keep conversations about finances as neutral and amicable as possible. There is no benefit in having a contentious divorce. Instead, mediation can offer the opportunity for both parties to reach a satisfying outcome on common ground.

For more information, see:

• http://money.usnews.com/money/retirement/articles/2015/04/24/7-things-to-know-about-divorcing-during-your-senior-years
• http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/31/your-money/after-full-lives-together-more-older-couples-are-divorcing.html?_r=0

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

The holiday season is a major, emotional period of the year, but it is important to remember that co-parenting should sustain beyond Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Communication between both parents is the key to successful co-parenting. Just like during Christmas or New Year’s, children should regularly have the opportunity to spend quality time with both parents. For example, working together to set a schedule with consistent drop off and pick up times will help kids feel more secure.

Divorce is a stressful process that can make it challenging for even well-meaning parents to cooperate. However, divorced spouses must set aside any feelings of bitterness or anger in order to develop a co-parenting plan that meets the needs of their children. Modeling respect, cooperation and polite behavior sets a positive tone for co-parenting. When children see their parents getting along, they are more likely to adjust easily to divorce.

Additionally, co-parenting plans should be geared toward the age of the child. Younger children need reassurance that they have two parents who love them no matter what. On the other hand, teens might require more flexibility and freedom in their schedules to accommodate their many activities.  For some divorced spouses, even thinking of their co-parent might be painful. However, it is important to compartmentalize such feelings and commit to communicating with your ex for the benefit of your child. Co-parenting ensures that children share a close bond with both parents.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

A New Way

The fact that people are having to wait for their cases to be heard and because the court procedure of getting a divorce can often lead to parties contesting against one another leading to bitterness, more and more people in California and elsewhere are looking towards a different way to get divorced, one that offers them more comfort and functionality than the court system.

California divorce mediation has thus started to become a popular method for spouses to use and end their relations. There are many reasons for the growing popularity of mediation over divorce litigation. One of them is the pace of their proceedings. Most people who come to court are looking for a speedy remedy. Imagine you hate your spouse for their extramarital affair but the delay in your case coming in front of the judge means you’ll have to stay with him/her to maintain the strength in your case.

Greater Comfort and Peace

The comfort argument is often used to describe divorce mediation and in reality that is one of the reason why it is growing in popularity. Divorce is a personal matter arising out of issues between two parties and more often than not they would like to keep that private. The stigma attached to divorce is enough to deal with and no spouse would want themselves to have to deal with people in and around them talking about the personal issues that led to their divorce.

In courts that is hard to manage, but as far a mediation is concerned your mediator will make sure to keep your reasons for divorce private. Since mediation is a process that is decided between the two spouses with no authority interfering in their decision making. The two spouses tend to stay away from bitterness and instead use mutual collaboration to solve their issues. This helps ensure that the process is done smoothly, without many fights or arguments with the divorce mediator making sure the atmosphere is kept peaceful.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.

Determining spousal support in divorce can be complicated as there are various techniques that judges use to determine the amount of spousal support. Generally people who through a litigated divorce will be given out formulaic approach for support orders that have a stark disregard of the situation of the couple, and instead focus on black and white procedural rules.

A Comfortable Way Out

While the courts must stick with the rules and set precedents in deciding a spousal support order, people who go to divorce mediation will have the chance to getting their spousal support decided rationally.

The rational approach is a popular approach that most spouse uses with one another when deciding their post-divorce alimony payments. Use of this approach typically leads to a more just settlement that is closely modeled on the current economic situation of the parties.

The Rational Approach

The rational approach derives its concept from the word rational which loosely translated means reasonable. If you are considering divorce mediation in Orange County with your spouse, looking to make use of this approach, here is a lowdown on how it works.

The process starts with a detailed analysis of the living expenses that can be reasonably associated with each party. It is important at this stage that the two parties don’t get into a futile argument as to what expense to keep and what to leave.

If you think that you have a legitimate claim to some expense that needs to be added in your reasonable expense list and your spouse should accept it. It is advisable that you carry a credit card, a monthly bank bill of the withdrawals of cash made each month and the monthly receipts of items you regularly need in your life. If you are able to show all of the evidences your case in front of the other party will strengthen, more often than not compelling them to agree to your assertions.

The rational approach will usually divide the spousal payments into multiple schedule lines, easier for the spouses to divide amongst each other. The common factors that need to be taken into account before deciding on the rational approach spousal maintenance are:

• Monthly payment of spousal maintenance
• Gross monthly income covering all sources
• Total expenses that incurred monthly
• The total monthly income with respect to adding of spousal maintenance received and subtraction of spousal maintenance paid.
• The total number of taxes that have been paid by each party off their incomes
• Net income that is left remaining post payment of taxes and deduction of expenses.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Unlike litigation where spouses are accompanied by their team of high powered lawyers who battle it out in court, using all kinds of tactics against the other spouse. In mediation, the two spouses have to negotiate with one another.

Here is a list of few steps in negotiation that lead to a conflict-free divorce mediation.

Laying Down the Issues

The best way to go about Orange County divorce mediation is laying down the issues first and foremost before your emotions take over. Defining and outlining the issues in front of your spouse will give you both a clear demarcation of subjects that you will have to talk about. At this stage if there are other issues that need to be addressed, your spouse will add them to the discussion to make sure you know exactly what the negotiations will base around.

Identifying concerns and underlying interests

Once you have laid down what has to be discussed, the next step is to find out what is important for each of the spouse. Typically in an Orange County divorce mediation one of the spouse can want the custody of the child while the other may have an inclination towards the monetary side of things. This will make sure that the two parties know which topic needs to be touched briefly and which one needs to be discussed deeply to allay the concerns of the other party.

Developing Options that will help Address the Solution

Both the spouses will typically have designs on how they want the issues to be resolved. You need to put your solutions to the problems forwards and ask the other party to do the same. This will make sure that a number of ideas are put on table instead of one.

Bringing the Options together for a resolution

Once the options for the resolution have been laid down, the emphasis is then on the making sure that these options are chopped and changed. Deliberated upon and accepted for a final resolution. This phase of the negotiation will involve bargaining between the two spouses when both the spouse will need to give the other spouse something in return for what they want. For example if you want the custody of the child in the holiday season, you may have to give up the right of taking him with you on the weekends, etc.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

How should you get a divorce after your short term marriage? The answer to the question can be given in a number of different ways. You could either go for divorce mediation or a litigated divorce. Both of these methods are completely different to one another and the method you choose will dictate the way you live life in your future as well as relations you have with your kids and your ex spouse.

Litigated Divorce

A litigated divorce which is dictated by the family law court is one of the most common way couples have opted to end their marriages. These cases are typically heard by the judge and the two spouses are each represented in the court by their counsels who will look to make sure that they leave no stone unturned to demean the other spouse and give advantage to their client.

However these divorces despite being the typical way that people have divorced over the years have started to face a number of administrative issues which has meant that they are unable to handle the bulk of cases causing undue delays, etc.

Divorce Mediation

Typically this is one area that has continued to increase in popularity as litigation starts to lose the confidence of the people. Orange County divorce mediation is one of the easiest ways to get divorced. Here, unlike litigation, the decision-making authority is in the hands of the spouses.  In a mediated divorce, the two spouses are asked to sit together and talk with one another to ensure that the they are able to agree on resolutions to their divorce.

When you have had a short term marriage, it can almost be equated with a breakup. For people that have gone through long marriages, marriage may have become part of their life. The people going through a short term marriage are luckier in way that they might not have become as entrenched in their married life. Irrespective of the fact that they have been in a short or a long term marriage, having healthy relations with your spouse and your kids even after you have had an Orange County divorce. For that to happen you will need to go through a peaceful divorce settlement, free from bitterness, and that means divorce mediation.

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.

Different Yet Similar

This highlights how Orange County divorce is increasingly being used by couples to make sure they rid themselves from a number of issues. Not just one. What then is the primary issue or reason that is resulting in divorce? The answer is simple, there is no one reason. The reasons for opting out of marriage can vary from illicit spousal behavior to aggression and abuse and from that to extra marital or financial affairs.

While the issues pertaining to why a couple is looking for a divorce can vary, so can the methods. Despite being the oldest divorce method, litigation is fast losing its appeal in the masses, with people looking for a quieter, peaceful divorce achieved through Orange County divorce mediation.

So while the conclusions at the end of the mediation process, the results, the reason for the divorce and the impact the divorce is having on a particular person can vary. One thing that is nearly the same in all cases of Orange County divorce mediation is the subject matter. This blog will highlight the kinds of issues that almost always come up in Orange county divorce mediation.

Parenting Arrangements for Minor Children

Children are one of the most important assets for their parents and in any divorce settlement; they have an important role to play, especially in cases where the child is a minor.

• Decision-making for significant issues
• Child care arrangements
• Residential arrangements and time-sharing
• Tutoring
• Pick-up and drop-off
• Extra-curricular activities

Property and Debt Division

Division of assets and liabilities is another area where spouses are bound to have issues and careful deliberations are often needed to solve these issues amicably.

• Ownership of business
• Vehicles
• Life insurance policies
• Household goods
• Stocks, bonds and other securities.
• Real estate
• Checking and savings accounts
• Attorney or Mediation fees
• Income tax issues
• Retirement type accounts

Spousal Maintenance

Paying the dependent spouse an amount to keep them away from financial hardships is often one of the primary issues to think about for both spouses.

• Cash settlement
• Periodic payments or lump sum
• Tax deductible or not
• Modifiable or non-modifiable
• Duration of payments

Child Support for Minor Children

The custody arrangement will determine which parent the child lives with, determining their monthly maintenance amount will also have some difficulties.

• Post-secondary education tuition for children.
• Wage assignment
• Medical insurance for minor children
• Child Support Guidelines
• Periodic exchange of income information related to child support

Are you looking for a peaceful and fast divorce? If you are then contact us at California Divorce Mediators today!

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.