Geronimo Jones believed that he\u2019d been abducted by aliens, but his delusions didn\u2019t end there. He went so far as to call a California Health Insurance<\/a> agent to see if he\u2019d be charged for their \u201cvery thorough\u201d probes.<\/p>\n Thirty-four year old Geronimo Jones, hypochondriac and confirmed cheapskate, was lying in bed painfully pondering. He\u2019d been plagued by headaches and this one was a \u201cdoozy.\u201d Tylenol hadn\u2019t helped. Geronimo\u2019s split-level ranch in Modesto recently had an alarm installed; he\u2019d gotten a deal. Drifting off to an anguished sleep, Geronimo possibly awakened; he wasn\u2019t sure, instead of a clanging alarm he heard only silence, and was taken, by what appeared to be silver-throated aliens, at least several \u2013 one wearing a funny extraterrestrial baker\u2019s hat. Up to the mother ship he possibly went, he wasn\u2019t sure exactly how, it didn\u2019t involve diesel. He lay on a metallic table unable to move anything but his (more…)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Geronimo Jones believed that he\u2019d been abducted by aliens, but his delusions didn\u2019t end there. He went so far as to call a California Health Insurance agent to see if he\u2019d be charged for their \u201cvery thorough\u201d probes. Thirty-four year…<\/span><\/p>\n