Do some sleuthing. Though it may sound a little too nosy, some people do a basic search engine run on their new friend to see what comes up. You can also look them up on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter. A simple “about” check, if he has his profile set to “public,” can tell you more than enough about the person you just agreed to meet for coffee. Keep in mind that there may be a number of people with the same name, and that not everything you read on the internet is true. But, you know what they say: photos (most often) do not lie.

Though “Googling” someone is acceptable, and looking at their vacation photos publically posted on Facebook is done more often than people admit, running an actual background check on someone, unless he or she has asked you for your bank account number or has otherwise done something questionable is generally considered a “no no.”

Take your time. Recognize that you are rusty at this. If someone seems too good to be true, your first impulse may be to jump into the relationship with both feet. It is scary to get back out there, and finding someone with whom you connect so quickly is a relief. But keep in mind that people tend to be on their best behavior when they first meet. You are likely not getting a good sense of that other person’s true feelings about everything from where he wants to go for dinner to the movie she wants to see, just as you may not be sharing every true thing about you. Slow down. Get to know him — and get to know the newly single you, too. How you want to behave and what needs you want met in a relationship have probably changed quite a bit since you last dated, too.

Do not step backwards. If you are lucky enough to be on good terms with your ex, watch for boundary violations. A newly divorced couple, dating each other again solely out of loneliness and in an attempt to stave off “going out there,” has happened more than once. Sure, recognize what you once liked about each other. Stay respectful of each other. But keep your “dates” with your ex to phone calls or the occasional face-to-face at the occasional coffee shop. If you have to, make a list of why you broke up in the first place, and keep it on your fridge.

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However, for both wealthy and non-wealthy women alike, divorce can be financially ruinous; the separation of assets and alimony or child support can decimate a bank account. While there are no set steps someone can take to lessen the financial impact on their own bank accounts and secure a more solid financial future, there are several approaches they should take, according to Fairfax divorce lawyer Lisa McDevitt.

“Divorce can be so emotionally upsetting and financially chaotic, even when it is the desired outcome,” advises McDevitt of McDevitt Law Firm. “It is always prudent to take stock and assess resources before making any large decisions.”

McDevitt offers some tips on how to manage the first few weeks and months after initiating a divorce. If looking for work, add more work such as contracting or part-time, or changing jobs, suggests McDevitt, reach out to friends, family members, community and coworkers for both moral and financial support. Many churches, temples and communities offer support groups for divorce and for financial guidance. Tap into those resources.

McDevitt advises for individuals to sit down and assess finances. Take the time to map out a strict budget, and work with a financial advisor to ensure what assets that are available will stay protected.

McDevitt also suggests not making any impulse-buy large purchases. Purchasing large-ticket items can be an emotional response and, like many emotional responses, only helps in the short-term. If you need to go out for a lavish dinner or take a weekend trip, and your budget shows you have that available, go for it. But if you do not have the money, you need to stay smart.

“Work with your lawyer to deal with separation issues as they come up, rather than making rash decisions based on emotion,” says McDevitt. “Buying that flat screen TV now that your spouse is not there to say ‘no’ is satisfying for a few days, but then you have to pay the bill.”

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According to Daniel Quinn, in 2006, he was dating a woman who told him she was divorced. She became pregnant, and the two moved in together. After their child was born, Quinn says, he was unable to have his name on the baby’s birth certificate. The hostile administrator told Quinn that the woman was married. According to Michigan law at the time, the husband is the presumed father of his wife’s children born during the marriage.

Quinn and the woman continued to live together during two and a half years, as the baby became a toddler. The pair then split and the woman went back to hr husband. The husband allegedly told the judge that he was, for all intents and purposes, the child’s father.

Quinn lobbied to change the law, and this past June, Michigan updated parental rights to include allowing biological fathers the right to petition for parental rights of their biological child.

Now Quinn is slated to appear in front of a judge to ask that he be recognized as his daughter’s father, and reunite with the child he has not seen since 20008. Meanwhile, the husband of the child’s mother is in prison on drug trafficking charges. Quinn alleges that the steps the couple used to keep custody of the child was not kidnapping, but in fact conspiracy and collusion, using the law to manipulate and defraud the courts.

The Michigan case is an example of how the two-legal-parent limit can be stifling, a situation, one which some states are attempting to rectify. California Governor Jerry Brown vetoed Senate Bill 1476 which would allow a child to have more than two legal parents. Introduced by State Senator Mark Leno, Bill 1476 proposed that there may be more than two legal parents as recognized by a judge when a biological or previous custodial parent met the best interests of the child. Brown vetoed the law not due to a lack of sympathy toward the intent of the bill, but due to potential Social Security and other issues not covered by the bill. Multiple states, including Pennsylvania and Maine, have similar laws in place for custody cases.

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