The media in California was full of the news this past summer that actors Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were looking to divorce and that their preferred method for their divorce was divorce mediation. Back in the day when couples opted to divorce, most of them went straight to court for resolution of their divorce. They would be flanked by lawyers and would battle it out against one another in front of the Judge leaving the decision of their fates in the hand of the Judge.
The choice of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to peacefully end their relationship using divorce mediation shows a shift from litigation to mediation.
Divorce mediation is often being used by celebrities one because it allows them to maintain their privacy and reach a resolution. One of the responsibilities of a divorce mediator is to keep whatever is being discussed between the spouses private unless it is a matter of threat to the national security or other such extrapolated reasons.
One of the reasons why most spouses opted for litigation was because it allowed them to battle it out with their spouse, slandering them and destroying their future using their high powered lawyers. This is often a reasoning used by spouses who are angry at the conduct of their spouses and want to teach them a lesson.
A Better Alternative
While you may want to teach your spouse a lesson using litigation, have you ever thought what kind of a message that would give to your children? When children are involved in a divorce the type of divorce needs to change for their benefit. Using litigation where both the spouses are fighting against one another will damage the children mentally as much as emotionally.
Divorce in itself can be a hard task for children to go through; the fact that they will be unable to have the love of one of their parent at a time will take some getting used to. Over burdening those in the knowledge that their parents hate each other and are not able to stand on another will only add to their torment.
One of the reasons why divorce mediation is more of a preferred option over litigation as the first choice not only for celebrities but also the general public is because it not only helps soothe the process at this point of time, it also sets up for a amicable future between the two spouses.
The whole process of divorce mediation is run by two spouses themselves. They will have to mutually talk about the issues they face and agree on a solution that leaves both of them satisfied. When the spouses are able to do that, it will harness a healthy communicative relationship between them, where they can continue to communicate for the betterment of their children.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.