Going through a divorce can be nothing short of uncertainty and pain to say the least. All of this can multiply in case your divorce involves children. Divorce is not easy on any one, neither the spouse that initiates it nor the spouse that willingly or unwillingly become a part of it.
Yet the people most affected by a divorce are the children who have no role to play in what is happening between their parents and yet they continue to suffer as a result. In order to make post-divorce easier for the kids, the divorced couple needs to sit down and collaborate to make visitations as positive an experience as possible.
Here are a few tips that parents who have gone through a divorce can use for effective, peaceful visitations:
Ensure Positivity
When your ex spouse’s visit is coming up, try to stay positive and make sure it can be seen clearly by your children. Always remember that while you may have countless differences with your spouses, divorce or not he or she is still a parent to your children. You can even talk to your ex spouses about the activities they’ll be doing with the kids to show a happy, collaborative mood between the two ex spouse to your kids.
Be Punctual
If you were a child how would you feel spending time with a parent who came to pick you up late from your visitation handover? Children value the importance that they are given by their parents. As a parent you need to make sure that you reach there right on time to take your kids and while you are with them give them all of your time. Your TV, messages and tweets can wait, what can’t is the need to be loved in your children.
Beware of Getting into an Argument
You had differences with your spouse that is pretty clear since both of you ended up getting yourselves an Orange County divorce. But your kids don’t know that their parents hate each other and if you want them to grow up happy, they shouldn’t. Arguing is never a good thing to do in front of your child, not least when two parents argue against each other. The more careful you are refraining yourself from arguing the more pleasant your visitation transitions will be.
Don’t Chastise Them for Missing the Other Parent
Missing someone is never a problem; it is something that comes naturally to most people. For all we know, you may sometimes visit your ex spouse. Hence it is only natural that you children may miss the other parent too even when they are in your company. This is not a sign of disapproval for you, rather shows the love they have for the other parent in addition to the love they have for you. Tell them it’s okay to miss the other parent and it’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.
