When a person is going through an Orange County divorce, we realize that there are some events that have a crossover of sorts between the best choices made emotionally and the best choices made legally. One of those issues is how to break the news of divorce to your spouse. While there may be a variety of opinions around you that range from blunt admittance of a divorce initiation to an utter silence letting the divorce notice speak for itself, there is no one right or wrong way to tell your spouse about your decision to end the relationship.
The Timing
The how of breaking the news will often depend on the when of breaking the news. In other words, how to tell your spouse about your desire for divorce will depend on the timing of the relationship. For example, if you are someone who has been subjected to physical violence and abuse, telling your spouse about the Orange County divorce proceedings early will leave you vulnerable for more. If you are in such a predicament, you should time your divorce news break after taking necessary legal protections such as restraining orders.
This situation will again be true if you replace the physical marital violence with financial dependence, lack of financial asset evidence, etc.
Tips on How to Break the News of Divorce to Your Spouse
Here are a few tips on how you should act when you are looking to break the news of your Orange County divorce to your spouse.
- First things first, when you are telling your spouse you are getting a divorce, you need to stay steadfast. Be firm and assert that you have already made the decision and going ahead with it or not isn’t up for discussion anymore.
- You should avoid running rings around the topic before actually coming onto the jest of it. This is no time to look for suspense; it is news that needs to be broken and should be with minimal fuss. Be clear, honest and brief.
- You should be ready to face a backlash from your spouse. There will be a range of emotions on display once you break the news and you should be compassionate about it. Remember though, compassion and concessions are two different things, stay away from the latter and from being coerced into changing your decision.
- Be ready to listen to their rants, it is natural for your spouse to rant and speak out when you tell him/her about your plans to get an Orange County divorce.
- Once your spouse is calmer, you should act sensibly and look to talk some sense into them. Talk to them about how they should keep a cordial healthy relationship intact for the kids.
Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.
