Divorce has always been one subject that to some is a taboo subject that needs not be discussed openly, and yet the number of people with such thoughts seems to be shrinking quickly. The number of divorces in Orange County and the United States has increased with couples now ready to jump ship rather than having to live through a relationship that they don’t think is fit to continue. In addition to the obvious circumstances of marital infidelity, here is a list of the leading causes of divorce:
Getting Married For The Wrong Reasons
Everybody gets married for the marriage to last and the love that they are able to experience, correct? Wrong! People get married for a whole host of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with a happily ever after. One of the leading reasons such as this is marrying for money. Marrying for money means you marry for the estate, the monetary benefits etc. and when you can get this through a divorce, why stay in the marriage?
The Disappearance Of Intimacy
One wrong step, a wrong night, and a few misplaced words of disinterest, and one of the most important aspects of a relationship can disappear in a flash. Intimacy is the glue that tends to hold a relationship together. If a spouse starts to believe the other isn’t romantically interested or sexually attracted to them, things can turn sour really quickly. Men can often want sex in order to be romantic while women can often want romance first as a precursor to sexual activity. Miscues and growing apart in the intimacy department can often led to the decline of a relationship and give way to divorce.
The Lack Of Financial Compatibility
Lack of finances is very seldom the reason for the downfall of a relationship, it is more the lack of compatibility in finances that can hurt the relationship and bring the couples to the brink of divorce. One of the leading examples is the conflict of financial interest between a spouse that’s likes to spend and other spouse that wants to save for a rainy day.
Lack Of Communication and Conflict Management
No relationship in the world can be conflict-free, yet what differentiates the long committed ones from the short endings is the level of conflict management. Couples who are unable to solve their differences and conflicts will build on their frustrations and issues until they finally explode, taking the relationship to divorce. This building of frustrations can also stem from a lack of communication. No doubt you know someone who is going through a divorce or is divorced but prior to the divorce filing, the couple supposedly never fought or argued over anything. A real relationship means that people argue at least occasionally, clear the air so to speak, get their feelings and frustrations heard, and move forward. Never arguing or expressing feelings of frustration or of unfulfilled needs to your spouse means that over time, those feelings only build up inside you and cause you to grow apart from your spouse. Whose fault is that? Yours, and it is not fair to your spouse that he or she never had any real idea of what you were feeling or what you needed until it was too late because your feelings of love eroded over time, like your marriage subsequently did.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.