Divorce is difficult on both parents and children. Parents going through a divorce will find breaking the news of them parting ways to their children very difficult whereas kids will go through a multitude of emotions when their parents tell them of their decision. In order to make this easier on kids and parents, parents can choose to break the news in more subtle ways. Ways that will ensure that no one will get hurt in the process. Divorcing partners with kids should announce the news of their separation in the following ways:
1. Do It Together
People choose to separate for many reasons such as losing the spark in their relationship, cheating, and various other reasons for dissolving the marriage. Those reasons can create a rift between parents leading to animosity in the house.
When this conflict reaches a boiling point, going their separate ways is the best solution. However, breaking this news to the kids is the real challenge. To overcome the challenge, parents can do it together telling the kids a reason they both agree on. Keep in mind that when telling the kids, speak in terms they can understand.
2. Don’t Use Complex Language
Young children especially have a tough time understanding why their parents won’t be living together anymore. They will have many questions for you, which you should be prepared to answer. Before they ask, explain it to them earlier. The earlier you explain, the better they will be able to cope with the news, but how will you explain it?
Don’t beat around the bush. Start with sentences such as “Recently, mom and dad have done a lot of thinking,” then start explaining what those thoughts are. Gradually, tell them that they are not responsible for mommy and daddy parting ways.
3. Tell Your Children that It’s Not Their Fault
Children often hold themselves responsible for their parents parting ways. Younger children may think they are at fault. As parents, you need to sit them down and reassure them that their decision for getting a divorce wasn’t because of them. During your conversation with your child, try never to blame the other partner directly.
4. Act Civil with Each Other
Down the line, things might have changed between you and your partner. Now, those things may have become the reason to file for divorce as well. Never disclose the reasons in front of your children, but keep them between you two. The last thing children want to see are their parents throwing vile remarks at each other. To avoid creating such a situation in the first place, try to part ways amicably by choosing divorce mediation, a more peaceful way to end things on a good note.
Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.
