Earlier this year, Huffington Post contributor Ashley Davis Bush posted a piece entitled “6 Steps to a Peaceful Divorce.” The notion that such an emotionally-fraught and legally-nuanced event like a divorce could, at best, be “uneventful,” but “peaceful?” Although it seems a bit ambitious, it can be achieved.
Divorce isn’t merely a legal procedure to dissolve a marriage – it’s the result of a myriad of emotional interpersonal matters that affect your family members in every generation. If it were easy, trust us, there would be less divorce attorneys in Denver and more ski instructors. However, with a little “interpersonal due diligence,” a couple seeking a divorce in Denver or elsewhere can work to remain as friendly as possible throughout the proceedings. Think of divorce not as a war to be won but rather a carefully negotiated truce.
As Bush, a licensed therapist, suggests in her piece, “Set an intention every single morning to commit yourself to peace. What does this look like? It means you don’t badmouth your ex; you don’t speak aggressively; you don’t send sarcastic/violent emails, texts or phone messages.”
All of the above is sage advice, but what do you do if you’re the recipient of unwanted, negative communication from your soon-to-be-former spouse? Don’t take the bait. Save the messages, and present them to your divorce attorney. It’s an unfortunate fact that, when matrimony turns to acrimony, former lovers can turn violent and even lethal. Even though divorce attorneys are not marriage counselors, they are attuned to what constitutes a legitimate threat to their client’s well-being and safety and how to manage such situation within the framework of the law. So, if you can’t have a peaceful divorce, you can at least have some peace of mind.