Parenting can vastly change after divorce proceedings. When both parents are given equal parenting time, it creates an on/off parenting schedule that defines when the child will be in your household. At the beginning of the new schedule, some parents feel loneliness or anger because they were used to the children being around. But as the weeks go by, if individuals can focus on how the new schedule bonds them to their kids in new ways, they can feel a sense of empowerment.
“Being the one to cook the meals, prepare the lunches, help with the homework, buy the birthday presents for your children’s friends, make play dates, drop them off at school, take them to the doctor – without an outlet or someone else to fall back on if you’re tired – is part of building a deeper connection with your children,” said Jonathan Weiler and Anne J. Menkens in a recent article about the benefits gained in a child-parent relationship after divorce. “…A newfound sense of capability might make you less overwhelmed by the challenges of dealing with your kids, thereby freeing you up to enjoy the experience more.”
As a single parent, chances are that you will be more heavily involved than before in your children’s health and education decisions as well as social activities. The custody and parenting agreement will define the mutual decisions you and your ex have for these aspects of your child’s life. As time goes on, the decisions and child support might need to be modified. Getting legal advice to see about these possibilities or making a move to change them is highly advised.
Throughout it all, it is recommended to focus on the best interests of the child. Child advocates say to never make your kids messengers to the other spouse. Do not put a child in the center of dispute you have with the ex. Do not say negative things about your ex in front of the child.
“Kids are impressionable and you can make your child hate your ex-spouse if you want to, but it won’t bring you closer to your child,” said Weiler and Menkens. “If, on the other hand, if you know your ex-spouse is a good parent (even if a bad spouse) and that your child loves him or her, try praising that parent. Building your child’s esteem for her other parent will be one of the best gifts you can give to your child.”
In California, Irvine child custody attorney Gerald Maggio is skilled in helping a parent achieve the best child custody outcome and has resources in the area for parents to work on their parenting skills. The Maggio Law Firm is experienced in maintaining and preserving the crucial parent-child relationship. They are well versed in child support and modifications, divorce, and alternative conflict resolution.
For more information:
The Maggio Law Firm, Inc.
Orange County Office
8105 Irvine Center Drive, Suite 600
Irvine, CA 92618
(949) 553-0346 Fax
3750 University Avenue, Suite 670
Riverside, CA 92501