California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard saved the Maxwell family’s son Dandy from financial disaster when Dandy’s parents became ill from the celebratory dinner he’d prepared.
Dandy Maxwell fancied himself a chef, but he should have been licensed as a poisoner. Still, he was quite passive-aggressive, and when he coerced his two frail and elderly parents, Dinah and Divine, to a celebratory supper for Parent’s Day on July 25th, they felt obligated to attend, although approached the obscure holiday with a sense of dread. The only precaution that the parents in question had taken was a Medigap policy, a prudent raft of supplemental insurance from California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard, who knew Dandy all too well – as he was a client too. “If they’d stuck to drinking coffee when visiting their son’s Maxwell house, they’d have been better off,” Matt opined in retrospect.
Dinah and Divine were also on a fixed income, a condition that being hospitalized even briefly can wreak havoc with. At least “food poisoning” was something that was covered insurance-wise – which unfortunately came to be pertinent.
To make a long story briefer, after all, its roots were anchored in both spite and an unrequited bite – Dinah and Divine had neglected to purchase braces many years before when Dandy had been a mere lad — but these were unconscious underpinnings, more like underpine-ings – Dandy prepared a concoction, some sort of East Indian curry with raw fish, and for their Parent’s Day feast, Dinah and Divine dutifully gulped it down. Immediately, a sense of nausea appeared, a bit like the Dickensonian ghost of Christmas Past, and this led to vomiting, and stomach cramps, and near-delirium.
Although passive-aggressive in the extreme, Dandy had the sense to ferry his forebears to the nearest ER, and after having their elderly stomachs pumped, a few days later Dinah and Divine were resting comfortably at home.
When the phone rang, it was their son, Dandy. “I just cooked a meal to make up for what happened,” he chirped sweetly, “It’s chicken divan, your favorite,” he said to his mother.
“Why don’t you invite Matt Lockard?” she suggested, not wanting to bruise her only son’s feelings,
“He loves chicken divan.”
When the invitation came, Matt had his excuse at the ready. “I was bitten by a termite,” he said, “and I don’t dare leave for fear of an infestation.”
Dandy sobbed into the phone, and Matt, unsure what to do next, quietly hung up.
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