When Motorola’s Android-Powered Devour Gets Eaten

Motorola’s new Android-powered Devour is its answer to Google’s Nexus. But what happens when calamity or mishap devours it? The answer will soon be CPR.

Motorola had been developing its new Devour for awhile, as a marketplace competitor to Google’s Nexus. Before the Ides of March, yea Brutus, it will be out. While nobody knows what the little beast will cost, it will have a touchscreen and slide-out keyboard; facilitate Facebook and Twitter exchanges, and stream content to the phone in real time. It’s way more advanced than Motorola’s Cliq, distributed through T-Mobile, which came out last year.

Motorola isn’t resting on their laurels, either. The company will be launching 20 Android smart phones in 2010, perhaps even a model called the “Sarah Palin” for those who have visited the state of Alaska and can prove it. But for now, it is just the Droid, and the Devour.

It’s all in a name sometimes. Droid is not much of a mystery, it’s just a brevity for Android, enough said. But why Devour? Because Americans eat, that’s why, and they eat quite a lot. There’s even an obesity epidemic, certainly among children, which is tragic enough, but perhaps even among centenarians, which would be infinitely more tragic for reasons as yet unexplained. That said, imagine the potential for accidents when American consumers, coincidentally while consuming food, perhaps even devouring food if they’re ravenously hungry, bring a cute little Devour smarty party phone into a restaurant where meatballs are on the menu. Imagine a tiny crack in the Devour’s touchscreen resulting when the consumer accidentally drops the Motorola device somewhere nasty. Imagine a little smidge of meatball lodged into the crevice created, I know, this is gross, but bear with me. Will Facebook still Twitter? Will content stream or scream? Will the keyboard slide out properly?

Maybe ‘no’ to all these pertinent queries. Enter CPR. At some point when such a catastrophe occurs, and your Devour has become a picky eater, so to speak, and won’t work, CPR’s expert service technicians will be there for you. Asserts the service-technician-without-a-name, let’s call him “Pete,” who has recently joined CPR’s stellar team, “Bring your Devour into us so that I can fix it for Pete’s sake. I know I can get that meatball out from inside its touchscreen.”

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