Bring Your Gaming-Transformer Hybrids to CPR

Morphed creations such as the Cool8800C can play their old school Nintendo games again when expert CPR service technicians crack them open.

Solomobi makes them. The electronic gadget is called the Cool8800C and it’s a mix of cell phone gaming and transformer, a pretty smart machine made smarter theoretically when it’s combined with a way to play Nintendo games via dual sim cards. This foldable PlayStation Portable comes complete with a d-pad, and does everything it’s hawked to do – read E-books, play its FM radio or an inserted MP3 or MP4, when it’s functioning. The problem is it’s so cheaply made; the “C” only works to a certain extent when it does function. But while NES games are mentioned, no titles ever appear or even information to find titles should they miraculously turn up. This device ‘made and marketed in China’ doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. What “functioning” of the Cool8800C really implies is a slow page-turning for reading E-books that can drive users to distraction, an FM buzzing that emits fuzzy sound in a radius of about six feet from the source and no further, MP3 or MP4 recordings that come out sounding like Alvin and the Chipmunks rescued from pop music antiquity land, and if a user ever tries to learn what to do from the manufacturer, a company called Solomobi, they are out of luck unless they speak a hybrid strain of Mandarin & Cantonese Chinese quite fluently.

Enter CPR. Imagine a scenario when a customer saunters into one of our independent repair outlets, and drops a malfunctioning Cool one, an 8800C, on the counter. “Can you make it work?” the owner of the peculiar little device might ask in a very plaintive tone.

“Sure, I’ll crack it open,” our intrepid and expert service technician might offer bravely. There is no swagger but we will try, as a song from “The Impossible Dream” blends with a selection from “The Miracle Worker” on the thing’s tiny FM radio.

The next day the customer returns to CPR. “Well, is my Cool8800C working again?” he asks, still sounding as plaintive as ever.

“I have good news,” our expert technician says, “Yes, it’s functioning as well as it ever did.” He turns it on like you would begin playing a Nintendo game back in 1978. Strains of music begin emanating. What is heard if you listen very closely is the high-pitched squeals of chipmunks. The customer smiles slowly, satisfied, a bit like the Mona Lisa.

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